I'd like to start off by saying this method works best for
larger, more expensive products, such as computers and
monitors. If you just want a keyboard then you shouldn't
even bother with this method.
Step 1: Find a product that you would like to SE. Price
doesn't really matter. I chose a high quality monitor, but
you can pick lower priced items if you'd like. Make sure
that the product is not brand new. (Not very recently
released)
Ex: The monitor I chose to get retails at over $2,000.
Step 2: Search for a serial number. Best methods are eBay, YouTube product unboxing or reviews,
Amazon, Google Images, etc. Or a PID generator if it applies for the product you want.
Ex: I used eBay and could make out the serial number from one of the pictures that was posted in
the listing.
Step 3: Contact HP however you would like. Get technical support and make up a problem of some
sort relating to your product. Make sure it's an issue that is covered under the warranty of your
product. So don't say you spilled soda like a fat ass into your computer. At this point you may
discuss the replacement and repair options over chat, but most likely it'll be over the phone, so
move onto step 4.
Ex: I said my monitor was displaying a red tint in the top corners via chat. Then later they contacted
me through calls and voicemail, so be prepared to talk on the phone!
Step 4: Generally HP will try to convince you to have a technician come to your location and
replace the part for you to ensure it's installed properly. If you are just trying to get a keyboard or
something, they might just send you a new one and then you return your "defective" one. However,
if they do try saying they want to send a technician to your house, then you must refuse. Give an
excuse as of why that won't work. After a while they should agree to send the part that you will
have to install yourself. My part came via UPS Sonic Air, so it literally came hours later, but yours
might come overnight.
Ex: I told them that I won't be home during the hours technicians are available and I'm highly
capable of installing the part myself then returning the defective one.
Step 5: This is where you now have the product delivered to you. UPS is stupid and won't make you
sign for the package and just leave it at your doorstep. So if they come knocking and you're home;
do not answer the door. Just let them leave the package and snag it once the guy is gone. HP should
call you that day or the next verifying you got the part. At this point you should say that you weren't
home all day, but you didn't have a package there. They might put you on hold to verify the
shipment made it there, but insist that there was no package and nobody else is home that would
have signed for it. If you're satisfied with one product, just tell them you want to cancel your
request and you'll have someone local fix it for you, because they're being unprofessional and
sloppy. Refuse any more replacements or technicians coming to your house and that you'll deal with
it yourself. They should agree to this and then you're done. Refer to step 6 if you want to get another
one sent to your house! Proceed only if you have balls.
Ex: My dumb UPS guy wrote "Left at front door" for my signature. So when the rep from HP
called, I just stated that it never came. She then told me that the package was sitting at a UPS depot
and a technician would be there tomorrow to bring me a new one and then pick the other one up
from the depot. In other words a second monitor! You may not get this lucky.
Step 6: You've decided to double up, so in this case, instead of telling HP that they suck, agree to
have another one sent to your house. As my last example explained, they'll assume the package
went to a local depot and will just bring you another one the next day. Then the tech will pick up the
one from the depot and bring in back to HP. So you know the drill. If you're home, pretend not to be
and hope they leave the package like idiots again. If they do then you have a second product. HP is
very persistent with calling though. Ignore all calls until the end of the work day. They will
probably leave lots of voicemails with phone numbers, extesions, and reference numbers. They may
even send a tech over. Call back at the end of the day and explain that you still haven't received
your package. They'll likely just say well it was left at your front porch blah blah blah or say that it
went to a depot again. This is where you rage. Get mad about their bad service and warranties. Say
they're unprofessional, and you're done trying to get their help. Refuse all further communication
with them. Do not ignore their calls though. Make sure you answer, but say you never received any
packages and you're getting your product fixed elsewhere. But make sure you never make contact
with the delivery service or mention anything about receiving a package whatsoever.
Ex: HP called me nonstop saying they had sent a package that was delivered and left at my door and
a tech was going to come by from 3-5 to install it. I said I never told a tech to come because I'm not
home during the day. I also told them I don't know if the package is delivered and that it was stupid
to leave a monitor outside on my porch for hours. So they called me the next day and I said I never
received a package and that I'm done trying to work this out. They left me alone after that and I had
two monitors.
TLDR:
1. Get serial number
2. Get replacement sent to house
3. Pretend you never got it
4. Get another sent to your house
5. Pretend you never got it
6. Rage and say you give up
7. STFU HP I didn't get shit now leave me alone
8. Product x2 or if you're a pussy you rage after 3.
UPDATE 2017: if they ask for scan of invoice or photo of product label , use your imagination and
skills with Photoshop. Google is your friend and local electronic market source of material.
