Lyddie - Katherine Paterson (1991) - DLF


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  13. * * *
  14. Digital Liberation Front
  15. Book release #1 - September 2010
  16. Title ......... Lyddie
  17. Author ........ Katherine Paterson
  18. Published ..... February 1991
  19. Genre(s) ...... Children's novel
  20. Pages ......... 182
  21. ISBN .......... 0-14-034981-2
  22. Version ....... 1.0
  23. Format ........ Plain text, ~72 chars
  24. Source ........ Puffin Books Paperback (300dpi)
  25. Name .......... Paterson Katherine - Lyddie (1991) (v1.0)-DLF.txt
  26. MD5 ........... 881c422797249d5f5546a7cc44e86993
  27. Release History:
  28. v1.0 - Initial release; free of major errors.
  29. Description:
  30. Impoverished Vermont farm girl Lyddie Worthen is determined to gain her
  31. independence by becoming a factory worker in Lowell, Massachusetts, in
  32. the 1840s.
  33. Notes:
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  35. such as .mobi for the Kindle.
  36. About DLF:
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  44. Liberating dead trees since 2010. Enjoy!
  45. === END NFO ===
  46. Lyddie v1.0
  47. September 2010
  48. Digital Liberation Front
  49. ****
  50. LYDDIE
  51. KATHERINE PATERSON
  52. PUFFIN BOOKS
  53. PUFFIN BOOKS
  54. Published by the Penguin Group
  55. Penguin Books USA Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.
  56. Penguin Books Ltd, 27 Wrights I-ane, London W8 5TZ, England
  57. Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Ringwood, Victoria, Australia
  58. Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V
  59. Penguin Books (N.Z.) Ltd, 182-190 Wairau Road, Auckland 10, New Zealand
  60. Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: Harmondsworth, Middlesex, England
  61. First published in the United States of America by Lodestar Books,
  62. an affiliate of Dutton Children's Books,
  63. a division of Penguin Books USA Inc., 1991
  64. Published in Puffin Books, 1992
  65. 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23
  66. Copyright (C) Katherine Paterson, 1991
  67. All rights reserved
  68. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
  69. Paterson, Katherine.
  70. Lyddie / by Katherine Paterson. p. cm.
  71. Summary: Impoverished Vermont farm girl Lyddie Worthen is
  72. determined to gain her independence by becoming a factory worker in
  73. Lowell, Massachusetts, in the 1840s.
  74. ISBN 0-14-034981-2
  75. [1. Self-reliance-Fiction. 2. Work--Fiction. 3. Factories--
  76. Fiction. 4. Textile workers-Fiction. 5. Lowell (Mass.)--
  77. Fiction.] I. Title.
  78. [PZ7.P273Ly 1992] [Fic]-dc20 92-20304
  79. Printed in Canada
  80. Set in Janson
  81. Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject
  82. to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise,
  83. be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the
  84. publisher's prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than
  85. that in which it is published and without a similar condition including
  86. this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
  87. LYDDIE
  88. "The courage of boys in the working world has been dealt
  89. with often . . . but novels of this kind about girls are rare.
  90. Lyddie is outstanding because of the nature of its set-
  91. ting. . . . This is a rich story packed with a great variety of
  92. characters. . . . Lyddie is full of life, full of lives, full of
  93. reality." -The New York Times Book Review
  94. "Readers will sympathize with Lyddie's hardships and
  95. admire her determination to create a better life for herself
  96. . . . Impeccably researched and expertly crafted, this book
  97. is sure to satisfy those interested in America's industrializa-
  98. tion period." -Publishers Weekly
  99. "[A] superb novel . . . Paterson has brought a troubling
  100. time and place vividly to life, but she has also given readers
  101. great hope in the spirited person of Lyddie Worthen."
  102. -School Library Journal, starred review
  103. "The story and characterizations are Paterson at her best.
  104. Readers will carry the image of Lyddie with them for many
  105. years." - Voice of Youth Advocates
  106. "A memorable portrait of an untutored but intelligent
  107. young woman making her way against fierce odds."
  108. -Kirkus Reviews, pointer review
  109. for Stephen Pierce
  110. our third son
  111. and Friend in deed
  112. Contents
  113. 1 The Bear
  114. 2 Kindly Friends
  115. 3 Cutler's Tavern
  116. 4 Frog in a Butter Churn
  117. 5 Going Home
  118. 6 Ezekial
  119. 7 South to Freedom
  120. 8 Number Five, Concord Corporation
  121. 9 The Weaving Room
  122. 10 Oliver
  123. 11 The Admirable Choice
  124. 12 I Will Not Be a Slave
  125. 13 Speed Up
  126. 14 Ills and Petitions
  127. 15 Rachel
  128. 16 Fever
  129. 17 Doffer
  130. 18 Charlie at Last
  131. 19 Diana
  132. 20 B Is for Brigid
  133. 21 Turpitude
  134. 22 Farewell
  135. 23 Vermont, November 1846
  136. Chapter 1: The Bear
  137. The bear had been their undoing, though at the time they had all
  138. laughed. No, Mama had never laughed, but Lyddie and Charles and the
  139. babies had laughed until their bellies ached. Lyddie still thought of
  140. them as the babies. She probably always would. Agnes had been four and
  141. Rachel six that November of 1843-the year of the bear.
  142. It had been Charles's fault, if fault there was. He had fetched in wood
  143. from the shed and left the door ajar. But the door had not shut tight
  144. for some time, so perhaps he'd shut it as best he could. Who knows?
  145. At any rate, Lyddie looked up from the pot of oatmeal she was stirring
  146. over the fire, and there in the doorway was a massive black head, the
  147. nose up and smelling, the tiny eyes bright with hungry anticipation.
  148. "Don't nobody yell," she said softly. "Just back up slow and quiet to
  149. the ladder and climb up to the loft. Charlie, you get Agnes, and Mama,
  150. you take Rachel." She heard her mother whimper. "Shhh," she continued,
  151. her voice absolutely even. "It's all right long as nobody gets upset.
  152. Just take it nice and gentle, ey? I'm watching" him all the way, and
  153. I'll yank the ladder up after me."
  154. They obeyed her, even Mama, though Lyddie could hear her sucking in her
  155. breath. Behind Lyddie's back, the ladder creaked, as two by two, first
  156. Charles and Agnes, then Mama and Rachel, climbed up into the loft.
  157. Lyddie glared straight into the bear's eyes, daring him to step forward
  158. into the cabin. Then when the ladder was silent and she could hear the
  159. slight rustling above her as the family settled themselves on the straw
  160. mattresses, she backed up to the ladder and, never taking her eyes off
  161. the bear, inched her way up to the loft. At the top she almost fell
  162. backward onto the platform. Charles dragged her onto the mattress beside
  163. her mother.
  164. The racket released the bear from the charm Lyddie seemed to have placed
  165. on him. He banged the door aside and rushed in toward the ladder, but
  166. Charles snatched it. The bottom rungs swung out, hitting the beast in
  167. the nose. The blow startled him momentarily, giving Lyddie a chance to
  168. help Charles haul the ladder up onto the platform and out of reach. The
  169. old bear roared in frustration and waved at the empty air with his huge
  170. paws, then reared up on his hind legs. He was so tall that his nose
  171. nearly touched the edge of the loft. The little girls cried out. Their
  172. mother screamed, "Oh Lord, deliver us!"
  173. "Hush," Lyddie commanded. "You'll just make him madder." The cries
  174. were swallowed up in anxious gasps of breath. Charles's arms went
  175. around the little ones, and Lyddie put a firm grip on her mother's
  176. shoulder. It was trembling, so Lyddie relaxed her fingers and began to
  177. stroke. "It's all right," she murmured. "He can't reach us."
  178. But could he climb the supports? It didn't seem likely. Could he, in his
  179. frustration, take a mighty leap and . . . No, she tried to breathe
  180. deeply and evenly and keep her eyes fixed on those of the beast. He fell
  181. to all fours and, tossing his head, broke off from her gaze as though
  182. embarrassed. He began to explore the cabin. He was hungry, obviously,
  183. and looking for the source of the smell that had drawn him in. He
  184. knocked over the churning jug and licked tentatively at the blade, but
  185. Lyddie had cleaned it too well after churning that morning and the
  186. critter soon gave up trying to find nourishment in the wood.
  187. Before he found the great pot of oatmeal in the kettle over the fire, he
  188. had turned over the table and the benches and upended the spinning
  189. wheel. Lyddie held her breath, praying that he wouldn't break anything.
  190. Charles and she would try to mend, but he was only ten and she thirteen.
  191. They hadn't their father's skill or experience. /Don't break nothing/,
  192. she begged silently. They couldn't afford to replace any of the
  193. household goods.
  194. Next the beast knocked over a jar of apple butter, but the skin lid was
  195. tied on tightly, and, flail away at it as he might with his awkward paw,
  196. he could not dislodge it. He smacked it across the floor where it hit
  197. the overturned bench, but, thank the Lord, the heavy pottery did not
  198. shatter.
  199. At last he came to the oatmeal, bubbling-by the smell of it,
  200. scorching-over the fire. He thrust his head deep into the kettle and
  201. howled with pain as his nose met the boiling porridge. He threw back
  202. his head, but in doing so jerked the kettle off the hook, and when he
  203. turned, he was wearing it over his head like a black pumpkin. The bear
  204. was too stunned, it seemed, simply to lower his neck and let the kettle
  205. fall off. He danced about the room in pain on four, then two legs, the
  206. kettle covering his head, the boiling oatmeal raining down his thick
  207. neck and coat.
  208. He knocked about, searching for the way out, but when he found the open
  209. door, managed to push it shut. Battering the door with his
  210. kettle-covered head, he tore it off its leather hinges and loped out
  211. into the dark. For a long time they could hear him crashing through the
  212. bush until, at last, the November night gathered about them once more
  213. with its accustomed quiet.
  214. Then they began to laugh. Rachel first, throwing back her dark curls and
  215. showing the spaces where her pretty little teeth had been only last
  216. summer. Then Agnes joined in with her shrill four-year-old shout, and
  217. next Charles's not yet manly giggle.
  218. "Whew," Lyddie said. "Lucky I'm so ugly. A pretty girl couldn't a scared
  219. that old rascal!"
  220. "You ain't ugly!" Rachel cried. But they laughed louder than ever,
  221. Lyddie the loudest of all, until the tears of laughter and relief ran
  222. down her thin cheeks, and her belly cramped and doubled over. When had
  223. she laughed so much? She could not remember.
  224. Her mother's shoulders were shaking, but Lyddie couldn't see her face.
  225. Mama must be laughing too. Lyddie dared to hope that her mother might
  226. laugh. Oh, there was the door to mend and the mess to be cleaned up, and
  227. the wasted porridge. But tomorrow she and Charles would find the
  228. kettle. The bear couldn't have taken it far and he was sure to have left
  229. more than an adequate trail with all that crashing through the
  230. underbrush. Let her be laughing, she prayed.
  231. "Mama," she whispered, leaning her mouth close to her mother's ear. "You
  232. all right, ey?"
  233. Her mother whirled toward her. "It's the sign," she said.
  234. "What sign, Mama?" Lyddie asked, though she did not want an answer.
  235. "Clarissa said when the end drew near, the devil would walk the earth."
  236. "That weren't no devil, Mama," Charles said. "It were only a black
  237. bear."
  238. " 'Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking
  239. whom he may devour.' "
  240. "Aunt Clarissa don't know, Mama," Lyddie said as firmly as she could,
  241. though a shudder went through her body.
  242. "It were only a black bear." Rachel's anxious little voice echoed her
  243. brother's, and then, "Weren't it, Lyddie? Weren't it a bear?"
  244. Lyddie nodded, so as not to seem to be contradicting their mother out
  245. loud.
  246. "Tomorrow we're going to Poultney," their mother said. "I aim to be with
  247. the faithful when the end comes."
  248. "I don't want to be with the fate full," Rachel said. "I want to be with
  249. Lyddie."
  250. "Lyddie will come too," their mother said.
  251. "But how will Papa find us if we've left home?" Charles asked.
  252. "Your father went out searching for vain riches. He ain't never coming
  253. back."
  254. "He will! He will!" Rachel cried. "He promised." Though how could she
  255. remember? She'd been barely three when he'd left.
  256. It was hard for the babies to go to sleep. Their stomachs were empty
  257. since the porridge had been ruined, and Mama would not hear of fixing
  258. more. Charles helped Lyddie clean the cabin. They propped up the door
  259. and put the chest against it to keep it in place until they could fix it
  260. in the morning. Then he climbed up the ladder to bed.
  261. Lyddie stayed below. The fire must be banked for the night. She knelt
  262. down on the hearth. Behind her left shoulder sat Mama in the one chair,
  263. a rocker she had brought from Poultney when she came as a bride. Lyddie
  264. stole a glance at her. She was rocking like one dazed, staring
  265. unblinking into the fire.
  266. The truth be told, Mama had gone somewhat queer in the head after their
  267. father had left. Lyddie had to acknowledge it. Not so strange as her
  268. sister, Clarissa, and her end-of-the-world- shouting husband,
  269. Judah-surely not. But now the bear seemed to have pushed her too far.
  270. "Don't let's go, Mama," Lyddie pleaded softly. "Please, Mama." But her
  271. mama only stared at the fireplace, rocking slowly back and forth, her
  272. eyes blank and still as though her spirit had gone away and left the
  273. body there rocking on and on.
  274. It was useless to argue, and Lyddie gave up, hoping that the mood would
  275. pass, like her mother's times of craziness always had. But the next
  276. morning her mother had not forgotten her determination. "If it ain't
  277. Clarissa's, it will soon be the poor farm," she said.
  278. The only charity Lyddie dreaded more than Aunt Clarissa's was that of
  279. the township's poor farm. It was to escape that specter that their
  280. father had headed West.
  281. "I can't stop you to go," Lyddie said, "but I can't go with you. I can't
  282. leave the farm." When her mother opened her mouth to argue, Lyddie went
  283. on. "The sow won't fetch enough to provide coach fare for the lot of
  284. us."
  285. She sent Charles along to make sure her mother and the babies arrived
  286. safely at Uncle Judah's farm. Charlie was a funny sight, hardly higher
  287. than a currant bush, but drawn up like a man in his worn boots and his
  288. father's old woolen shirt with the sleeves rolled. He loaded up the
  289. barrow-, they'd sold the horse cart for seeds last year. "It's only ten
  290. miles to Cutler's, where the coach stops. The little ones can ride when
  291. they get too tired," he said. He put in their mother's old skin trunk,
  292. which had carried her meager trousseau to this mountain and most of the
  293. food she'd managed to preserve before she gave up trying. Between them,
  294. he and Lyddie wrestled the old sow to the ground and tied her,
  295. squealing, to a shaft of the barrow.
  296. "You want I should go with you as far as the village?" she asked him.
  297. But they agreed it would be better for her to tend the cow and horse and
  298. protect the house from the wild critters.
  299. "You watch out for yourself," he said anxiously.
  300. "I'll do fine," she said. "Now remember, you got to get enough for the
  301. pig to pay coach fare for everyone."
  302. "And for me to come back again," he said, as a promise that she would
  303. not be left alone on the mountain farm. He glanced about to make sure
  304. his mother wasn't in hearing distance. "You mustn't be afraid to go down
  305. and ask the Quaker Stevens for help, Lyddie. They mean to be good
  306. neighbors to us, no matter what Mama says."
  307. "Well, I'll see how it goes, ey?" she said, tossing her thin plaits
  308. behind her shoulders. He should know she was not going to be beholden to
  309. the neighbors for anything so trivial as her own comfort. Their mother
  310. didn't approve of heathens or abolitionists, and since she considered
  311. their Quaker neighbors a bit of both, she forbade the children to have
  312. anything to do with the Stevenses. "Ain't no Worthen gonna have truck
  313. with the devil," she said. Early last summer, when Mama was having one
  314. of her spells and not paying much attention, Charlie had again sneaked
  315. the cow down the mountain to the Stevenses' place. As long as Lyddie
  316. could remember, long before their father had left, they had made use of
  317. the Stevenses' bull. If their mother ever wondered about those calves
  318. that were born like miracles every spring, she never mentioned it. She
  319. knew as well as Lyddie and Charles that they could never have managed
  320. without the cash money those calves brought in.
  321. Lyddie didn't care one way or the other about the neighbors' radical
  322. ideas and peculiar ways, she minded mightily being beholden. It couldn't
  323. be helped. The use of a bull was a necessity she couldn't manage on
  324. her own, but she would starve to death rather than go begging before
  325. this year's calf was safely born and it was time to mate the cow once
  326. more.
  327. She needn't have worried. Charlie came back in about two weeks, and
  328. together they made it through the winter. They shot rabbits and peeled
  329. bark for soup to eke out their scarce provisions. They ran out of flour
  330. for bread, so the churn stood idle, but "I never craved churning," said
  331. Lyddie.
  332. When the time for the calving drew near, they reluctantly let the cow go
  333. dry. They had no need for butter without any bread, but they'd miss the
  334. milk and cheese sorely. Nonetheless, they were farmers enough to do what
  335. was best for their only cow.
  336. The calf was born to great rejoicing and a new abundance of milk and
  337. cream. Lyddie and Charles felt rich as townsfolk. A sweet little heifer
  338. she was, arriving on the first warm day of March, the same day that they
  339. bored holes in the sugar maples and inserted the spills that they had
  340. made to catch the sap flow. They were able to make enough syrup and
  341. sugar for themselves. Hardly enough for a cash crop, but they were
  342. learning, and in another year, after another harvest, they would be
  343. experienced old farmers and sugarers, they told each other.
  344. Years later she would remember that morning. The late May sky was
  345. brilliant dare-you-to-wink blue, and the cheek of the hillside wore a
  346. three-day growth of green. High in one of the apple trees a bluebird
  347. warbled his full spring song, /chera, weera, wee-it, cheerily-cheerily./
  348. Lyddie's own spirit rose in reply. Her rough hands were stretched to
  349. grasp the satin-smooth wooden shafts of the old plow. With Charles at
  350. the horse's head, they urged and pushed the heavy metal blade through
  351. the rocky earth. The plow cast up the clean, damp smell of new turned
  352. soil. /Cheerily-cheerily./
  353. Then into that perfect spring morning a horse and rider had come round
  354. the narrow curve of the road, slowly, the horse gingerly picking its way
  355. across the deep, dried ruts of mud left from the thaws of April and
  356. early May.
  357. "Charlie," she said quietly, hardly daring to move, because for a moment
  358. she hoped it might be Papa, but only for a moment. It was plainly a
  359. woman riding sidesaddle, and not their mother, either. She never rode
  360. since she fell years ago and miscarried the baby that would have come
  361. between Lyddie and Charles.
  362. "Charlie," Lyddie repeated. "Someone's coming."
  363. Mrs. Peck, for she was the rider, had brought a letter from the general
  364. store in the village. "I thought you might be wanting this," she said.
  365. Lyddie fetched the coins for the postage from their almost empty cash
  366. box. The shopkeepers wife waited a bit, hoping, perhaps, that Lyddie
  367. would read the letter aloud, but she didn't. Lyddie was not much of a
  368. reader, so it was later, the short wisps of hair around her face
  369. plastered with sweat, that she held the letter close to the fire and
  370. managed to make out the words in her mother's cramped and painfully
  371. childish hand.
  372. Dear Lyddie,
  373. The world hav not come to the end yit. But we can stil hop. Meentime I
  374. hav hire you out to M. Cutler at the tavern and fer yr. brother to
  375. Bakers mill. The paschur, feelds and sugar bush is lent to M. Wescott to
  376. repay dets. Also cow and horse. Lv. at wuns you git this.
  377. Yr. loving mother,
  378. Mattie M. Worthen
  379. Lyddie burst into tears. "I'm sorry, Charlie," she said to her brother's
  380. amazed and anxious face. "I never expected this. We were doing so good,
  381. ey? You and me."
  382. He took a deep breath, reached into his pocket, and handed her a ragged
  383. kerchief.
  384. "It's all right, Lyddie," he said. "It's all right." When she kept her
  385. tear-streaked face buried in his kerchief, he gave one of her braids a
  386. tweak. "The world have not come to the end yit, ey?" He took the letter
  387. from her lap, and when she wiped her face and tried to smile, he grinned
  388. anxiously and pointed to their mother's primitive spelling. "See, we can
  389. stil hop."
  390. Lyddie laughed uncertainly. Her spelling was no better than their
  391. mother's, so she did not really see the joke at first. But Charlie
  392. laughed, and so she began to laugh, though it was the kind of laughter
  393. that caught like briars in her chest and felt very much like pain.
  394. Chapter 2: Kindly Friends
  395. "She didn't say nothing about the calf," Lyddie said suddenly in the
  396. midst of their sorrowful packing up.
  397. "She got no cause to," Charles said. "We never tell her about it."
  398. "You know, Charlie, that calf is rightfully ours."
  399. He looked at her, his honest head cocked, his eyes dubious.
  400. "No, truly. We was the ones asked Quaker Stevens to lend us use of his
  401. bull. Mama didn't have nothing to do with it."
  402. "But if they's debts ..."
  403. "She's letting out the fields and the horse and cow. She's sending you
  404. to be a miller's boy and me to housemaid. She's got us body and soul. We
  405. got no call to give her the calf." She set one hand on her waist and
  406. straightened her aching back.
  407. "What do you aim to do with it?"
  408. "Hush. I'm studying on it." Obediently, he quieted and stared in the
  409. same direction at the spindly maples that made up their stand of sugar
  410. bush.
  411. "It's a nice fat heifer," she said. "We kept it so long on it» mother's
  412. milk. We'll get a good price for it."
  413. "We'd be bound to give the money to her."
  414. "No." Her voice was sharper than she meant, ground as it was on three
  415. years of unspoken anger. "We always done that and look where it's got
  416. us. No," she said again, this time softly. "The money don't go there.
  417. She'll give it away to Uncle Judah, who'll give it to that preacher who
  418. says you don't need nothing 'cause the world is going to end." She
  419. turned to her brother. "Charlie, you and me can't think about that. We
  420. got to think about keeping this farm for when Papa comes back. We should
  421. take that money and bury it someplace, so when we get free we can come
  422. back here and have a little seed cash to start over with."
  423. "Maybe she'll sell the farm."
  424. "She can't. Not so long as Papa's alive."
  425. "But maybe ..."
  426. "We don't know that, now do we? We got to believe he's coming back-or
  427. he's sending for us."
  428. "I hope he don't send for us."
  429. "We'll persuade him to stay," she said. She wanted for a minute to put
  430. her arm around his thin shoulders, but she held back. She didn't want
  431. him to think that she considered him less than the man he had so bravely
  432. sought to be. "We're a good team, ey, Charlie?"
  433. "Ox or mule?" he asked, grinning.
  434. "A little of both, I reckon."
  435. They cleaned the cabin and swept out the splintery plank floor. They
  436. knew it was a rough and homely place compared to the farmhouses along
  437. the road and the ample mansions around the village green. But their
  438. father, the seventh son of a poor Connecticut Valley farmer, had bought
  439. the land and built the cabin with his own hands before their birth,
  440. promising every year to sell enough maple sugar, or oats, or potash to
  441. build a larger, proper house with a real barn attached instead of a shed
  442. which must be found through rain or blizzard. His sugar bush was
  443. scraggly and his oat crop barely enough to feed his growing family.
  444. There were stumps to burn aplenty as he cleared the land, but suddenly
  445. there was no need for potash in England and hardly any demand in
  446. Vermont. He borrowed heavily to buy himself three sheep, and the bottom
  447. dropped out of the wool market the very year he had had enough wool to
  448. think of it as a cash crop. He was an unlucky man. Even his children
  449. sensed that, but he loved them and worked hard for them, and they loved
  450. him fiercely in return.
  451. Pulling shut the door, which, despite all Charles's efforts, still did
  452. not close quite flush, they remembered the bear and wondered how they
  453. could keep the wild creatures from destroying the cabin in their
  454. absence. Finally, Charles suggested that they take all the wood left in
  455. the woodpile and stack it in front of the door. It took them close to an
  456. hour to accomplish the move, but, sweating and breathing hard, they
  457. admired their fortress effect.
  458. That made it a little easier for them to go. Charlie rode bareback
  459. astride the plow horse, his brown heels dug into the horse's wide
  460. flanks. Lyddie, leading the cow, followed close by. She carried a
  461. gunnysack, which held her other dress and night shift. Her outgrown
  462. boots were joined by the laces and slung over her shoulder. The long
  463. walk would be more easily done with her feet free and bare. There was no
  464. need to tie the calf. It danced around its mother's backside, bleating
  465. constantly for her to stand still long enough for a meal.
  466. It was the end of May. The mud was drying in the deeply rutted roadway,
  467. but Lyddie did not watch her feet. Birds were playing in and out of the
  468. tall trees on either side of the road, calling and singing in the pale
  469. lacy greens and rusts of the new growth and the deep green of the pines
  470. and firs. Here and there wildflowers dared to dance in full summer
  471. dress, forgetting that any night might bring a killing frost.
  472. Lyddie breathed in the sweet air. "It's spring," she said. Charles
  473. nodded.
  474. "Do you mind too much going to the mill?" she asked.
  475. He shrugged. "I don't rightly know. Don't seem too bad. Dusty, I
  476. reckon. And not much time to be lazy, ey?"
  477. She laughed. "You wouldn't know how to be lazy, Charlie."
  478. He smiled at the compliment. "I'd rather be home."
  479. She sighed. "We'll be back, Charlie, I promise." They were both quiet a
  480. moment remembering their father saying almost the same words. "Truly,"
  481. she added. "I'm sure of it."
  482. He smiled. "Sure," he said.
  483. They were in sight now of Quaker Stevens's farm. They could see him, his
  484. broad-brimmed straight black hat surrounded by the black hats of his
  485. three grown sons. They had the oxen yoked to a sled, which was already
  486. half loaded with stones, and were digging away at more stones buried in
  487. a newly cleared field.
  488. Their farmhouse, close to the road, had been added onto over the years.
  489. The outlines of the first saltbox could be made out on the northern end,
  490. which melted on the backside into a larger frame Cape Cod, then an ell
  491. that served as shed, storage, privy, and corridor to two barns, the
  492. larger one growing out of the smaller. They were rich for all their
  493. Quaker adherence to the simple life.
  494. Envy crept up like a noxious vine. Lyddie snapped it off, but the roots
  495. were deep and beyond her reach.
  496. Before they called out, the farmer had seen them. He waved, took off his
  497. hat to wipe his head and face on the sleeve of his homespun shirt,
  498. replaced his hat, and made his way across the field to the road.
  499. "I see my bull served thee well," he said, smiling. His face was broad
  500. and red, his hair curly and gray about his ears. Great caterpillar
  501. eyebrows crowned his kindly eyes.
  502. "We come to thank you," Lyddie began, thinking fast, wanting to be fair
  503. and honest but at the same time wanting a large price for the calf that
  504. she knew in her heart was partly his.
  505. "Thee brought these beasts five miles down the road for that?" he asked,
  506. his woolly eyebrows high up on his forehead.
  507. Lyddie blushed. "The truth is, we're taking the horse and cow to Mr.
  508. Westcott-in payment of debt, and we're obliged to sell off this pretty
  509. calf straight away. Our mother's put us out to work."
  510. "Thee's leaving thy land?"
  511. "It's let as well," she said, allowing just a tiny hint of sadness to
  512. creep into her voice. "Charles here and I was waiting for our father to
  513. come back from the West, but ..."
  514. "Thee's been alone all winter, just thee two children?"
  515. She could feel Charles stiffen beside her. "We managed fine," she said.
  516. He took off his hat again and wiped his face and neck. "I should have
  517. come to call on my neighbors," he said quietly.
  518. She sensed a weakness. "You wouldn't be interested . . . no, surely not.
  519. You got a mighty herd already."
  520. "I'll give thee twenty dollars for the calf," he said quickly. "No,
  521. twenty-five. I know the sire and he's of a good line." He smiled.
  522. Lyddie pretended to think. "Seems mighty high," she said.
  523. "She's half yours by rights," Charles blurted out before Lyddie could
  524. elbow him quiet. His honesty would be her death yet.
  525. But the kind man persisted. "It's a fair price for a nice fat little
  526. heifer. Thee's kept her well."
  527. He invited them in to complete their business transaction and, before
  528. they were done, they found themselves eating a hearty noon dinner with
  529. the family. The room they sat down in was larger than the whole cabin
  530. with the shed thrown in. It was kitchen and parlor with a corner for
  531. spinning and weaving. The Quakers were rich enough to own their own
  532. loom. The meal spread out on the long oak table looked like a king's
  533. feast to children who, until the cow freshened, had lived mostly on
  534. rabbit and bark soup, and the last of the moldy potatoes from the year
  535. before.
  536. The Quaker's wife was as large and red-faced as her husband, and equally
  537. kind. She urged them to eat, for they still had a long walk ahead of
  538. them. This reminded Quaker Stevens that he needed nails. One of the boys
  539. could take them to the mill and then on to the village, he said. The cow
  540. and horse must be tethered to the back of the wagon, so it would be
  541. nearly as slow as walking until they got to Westcott's, but, if they'd
  542. care for the ride ...
  543. The sons had removed their hats for the meal. They looked much younger
  544. and less stern than she remembered them. The youngest, Luke, she had
  545. seen more often, back in the days when she had gone to school. He had
  546. been one of the enormous boys who sat in the back of the
  547. schoolroom-sixteen or so when she was a tiny one in the front row. She
  548. hadn't gone to school at all since her father left. She hadn't dared to
  549. leave the babies alone with their mother. Charles had gone for most of
  550. the four-month term up until this past winter-until it had seemed too
  551. hard. She hoped the miller would let him do some schooling. He had a
  552. good mind, not so stubborn against learning as hers seemed to be.
  553. Luke Stevens tied the horse and cow to the back of the wagon and then
  554. came around to give Lyddie a hand up, but she pretended not to see. She
  555. couldn't have the man thinking she was a child or a helpless female. She
  556. jumped up the high step into the wagon and then realized she'd be
  557. squeezed between Luke and Charles on the narrow seat. She sat as
  558. tightly into herself as she could. She wasn't used to brushing bodies
  559. with near strangers. They hardly touched one another in the family. It
  560. made her feel small and tongue-tied to be so close to this great hulk of
  561. a man.
  562. He wasn't much of a talker either. He leaned forward from time to time
  563. and talked around her to Charles. He asked if Charlie knew much about
  564. the mill where he'd be working. Charles's sweet, high-pitched boyish
  565. tones made him seem heartbreakingly young against the deep male voice of
  566. his questioner. It was so unfair. This man had both father and mother
  567. and older brothers to live with and to care for him, while little
  568. Charlie must make his way in the world alone. She felt around the
  569. bottom of the gunnysack until her fingers found the lump of coinage. She
  570. pinched the money hard to remind herself not to cry.
  571. "Then the farm will just lie fallow?" Luke was asking Charles.
  572. "No, it's let-the fields and pasture and sugar bush for the debt. The
  573. house and shed we'll just leave be. I hope the snow don't do in the
  574. roofs." Charles's anxious concern was almost too much for Lyddie to
  575. bear.
  576. "Oh, they'll be all right. And we'll be back in a couple of years."
  577. "I could stop by. Would thee like me to stop by? Shovel the snow off the
  578. roof if need be?"
  579. "No need . . ." she started, but Charles was already thanking him for
  580. his kindness.
  581. "I'd be obliged," he said. "It would take the worry off. Lyddie and me
  582. aim to keep it standing against Papa's return. Don't make it trouble
  583. for yourself, though."
  584. "It'd be no trouble," Luke said kindly.
  585. "Ain't nobody to pack down the track come snow."
  586. He ignored her grumpy tone, smiling at her. "I can snowshoe it.
  587. Nothing better than a good hike on my own. That house gets mighty
  588. crowded come winter." The way he spoke made Lyddie feel that she was the
  589. child and Charles the responsible one.
  590. The horse and cow were safely delivered to Mr. Westcott. His farm lay
  591. in the river plain and was already alive with shoots of new corn. Lyddie
  592. watched Mr. Westcott lead their old cow and horse away. Next to
  593. Westcott's sleek stock, they'd look like hungry sparrows pecking in a
  594. hen yard.
  595. At a livelier clip they took the river road toward Baker's Mill. "I can
  596. walk from here easy," Charles protested, but Luke shook him off. "Faster
  597. I get home, sooner I'm hauling rocks," he said, laughing.
  598. She didn't want Luke Stevens watching while she bid Charles good-bye,
  599. but again maybe it was better. She might weaken if they were alone, and
  600. that would never do.
  601. "I'll only be in the village," she said. "Maybe you can drop up."
  602. Charles put his little hand on her arm. "You mustn't worry, ey Lyddie,"
  603. he said. "You'll be all right."
  604. She nearly laughed. He was trying to comfort her. Or maybe she nearly
  605. cried. She watched the gaping mouth of the mill swallow up his small
  606. form. He turned in the immense doorway-it was large enough to drive a
  607. high wagon through-and waved. "Let's be going," she said. "It's late."
  608. Luke nodded his head with a dip of his funny black hat. "This here is
  609. Cutler's Tavern," he said. They hadn't spoken since they left the mill.
  610. "Shall I come to the door with thee?" The wagon had stopped before a low
  611. stone wall, hung with a rail gate.
  612. She was horrified. "No, no need," she said. "They might not understand
  613. me riding up with a ..." She scrambled to the ground.
  614. He grinned. "I hope to see thee before too much time is up," he said.
  615. "Meantime, I'll see to thy house." He leaned over the seat. "I'll give a
  616. look in on thy Charlie, too," he said. "He's a good boy."
  617. She didn't know whether to be pleased or annoyed, but he clicked his
  618. tongue and the wagon pulled away, leaving her alone in her new life.
  619. Chapter 3: Cutler's Tavern
  620. Lyddie stood outside the gate, waiting until Luke and his wagon
  621. disappeared around the curve of the road. Then she watched a pair of
  622. swallows dive and soar around the huge chimney in the center of the main
  623. house. The tavern was larger than the Stevenses' farmhouse. Addition
  624. after addition, porch, shed, and a couple of barns, the end one at least
  625. four stories high. The whole complex, recently painted with a mix of red
  626. ochre and buttermilk, stood against the sky like a row of giant beets
  627. popped clear of the earth.
  628. The pastures, a lush new green, were dotted with merino sheep and fat
  629. milk cows. There was a huge sugar maple in front of what must be the
  630. parlor door, and another at the porch, which, from the presence of
  631. churns and cooling pans, must lead into the kitchen.
  632. Once I walk in that gate, I ain't free anymore, she thought. No matter
  633. how handsome the house, once I enter I'm a servant girl-no more than a
  634. black slave. She had been queen of the cabin and the straggly fields and
  635. sugar bush up there on the hill. But now someone else would call the
  636. tune. How could her mother have done such a thing? She was sure her
  637. father would be horrified-she and Charlie drudges on someone else's
  638. place. It didn't matter that plenty of poor people put out their
  639. children for hire to save having to feed them. She and Charlie could
  640. have fed themselves-just one good harvest--one good sugaring--that was
  641. all they needed. And they could have stayed together.
  642. She was startled out of her dreaming by a hideous roar, and before she
  643. could figure out what animal could have made such a noise, a stagecoach
  644. appeared, drawn by two spans of sweating Morgan horses, shaking their
  645. great heads, showing their fierce teeth, saliva foaming on their iron
  646. bits. The coach had rounded the curve, its horn bellowing.
  647. The driver was yelling as well, and then, just in time, she realized
  648. that he was yelling at her. She jumped hard against the wall. He was
  649. still yelling back at her as he pulled up the reins, the coach itself
  650. now on the very spot where she had been standing seconds before.
  651. Should she apologize? No, he wasn't paying her any attention now. He was
  652. turning the team over to a boy who had run out of the shed. A woman was
  653. hurrying out of the kitchen door to welcome the passengers, who were
  654. climbing stiffly from the coach. Lyddie stared. They were very grand
  655. looking. One of the gentlemen, a man in a beaver hat and frilled
  656. shirt, turned to hand a woman down the coach step. The lady's face was
  657. hidden by a fancy straw bonnet, the brim decorated with roses that
  658. matched her gown. Was it silk? Lyddie couldn't be sure, never having
  659. seen a real silk dress before, but it was smooth and pink like a baby's
  660. cheek. Around her shoulders the lady wore a shawl woven in a deeper
  661. shade of pink. Lyddie marveled that the woman would wear something so
  662. delicate for a ride to the northland in a dusty coach.
  663. Safely on the ground, the woman lifted her head and looked about her.
  664. Her face was thin and white, her features elegant. She caught Lyddie's
  665. eyes and smiled. It was a very nice smile, not at all haughty. Lyddie
  666. realized that she had been staring. She closed her mouth and quickly
  667. looked away.
  668. Then the encounter was over, for the stout woman who had come out of the
  669. kitchen door was hustling the lady, her escort, and two other passengers
  670. through the low gate and around to the main door at the north end of the
  671. tavern.
  672. Suddenly she saw Lyddie. She came over to the wall and whispered
  673. hoarsely across it to her. "What are you doing here?" She was looking
  674. Lyddie up and down as she asked, as though Lyddie were a stray dog who
  675. had wandered too close to her house.
  676. Lyddie was aware, as she might not have been minutes before, that she
  677. had no bonnet and that her hair and braids were dusty from the road. She
  678. crossed her arms, trying to cover her worn brown homespun with the
  679. gunnysack. The dress was tight across her newly budding chest, and it
  680. hung unevenly to just above her ankles in a ragged hem. Her brown feet
  681. were bare, her outgrown boots still slung over her shoulder. She should
  682. have remembered to put them on before she got off Luke's wagon.
  683. Self-consciously, she raised her sleeve and wiped her nose and mouth
  684. under the woman's unforgiving stare. "Go along," the woman was saying.
  685. "This is a respectable tavern, not the township poor farm."
  686. Lyddie could feel the rage oozing up like sap on a March morning. She
  687. cleared her throat and stood up straight. "I'm Lydia Worthen," she
  688. said. "I got a letter from my mother ..."
  689. The woman looked horrified. "You're the new girl?"
  690. "I reckon I am," Lyddie said, clutching her gunnysack more tightly.
  691. "Well, I've no time to bother with you now," the woman said. "Go into
  692. the kitchen and ask Triphena to tell you where you can wash. We keep a
  693. clean place here."
  694. Lyddie bit her lip to keep from answering back. She looked straight into
  695. the woman's face until the woman blinked and turned, running a little to
  696. catch up with the guests who were waiting for her at the main door.
  697. The cook was as busy as the mistress and not eager to involve herself
  698. with a dirty new servant just when she was putting the meal on the
  699. table. "Sit over there." Triphena shook her head at a low stool near the
  700. huge fireplace. Lyddie would rather have stood after the long, bumpy
  701. ride in the Stevenses' wagon, but she chose not to cause a problem with
  702. the cook as well as with the mistress in the first ten minutes of her
  703. employment.
  704. The kitchen was three times the size of the whole Worthen cabin. Its
  705. center was the huge fireplace. Lyddie could have stretched out full
  706. length in front of it and her head and toes would have remained on the
  707. hearth with room to spare.
  708. Built into the right side of the brick chimney was a huge beehive-shaped
  709. oven, and the smell of fresh-baked loaves made Lyddie forget the
  710. generous dinner she'd shared noontime. The trouble with eating good, she
  711. thought later, is you get too used to it. You think you ought to have it
  712. regular, not just for a treat.
  713. Over the fire hung a kettle so large that both the babies could have
  714. bathed in it together. It was bubbling with a meat stew chock-full of
  715. carrots and onions and beans and potatoes in a thick brown broth. There
  716. were chickens turning on a spit, which seemed to be magically going
  717. round and round on its own. But as Lyddie's eyes followed a leather
  718. strap upward, she saw, above the fireplace, the mechanism from which
  719. hung a huge metal pendulum. She wished her father could see it. He could
  720. make one perhaps from wood and then no one would have to tediously turn
  721. the spit by hand. But perhaps it was something you'd have to order from
  722. the blacksmith-in which case it was likely to be so dear that only the
  723. rich could afford one. She couldn't remember seeing one at the
  724. Stevenses', and they were rich enough to own their own loom.
  725. "Move," the cook said. The large woman was beginning to take the food
  726. from the fire. She gave Lyddie a quick glance. "Lucky you're so plain.
  727. Guests couldn't leave the last girl be." She was ladling stew into a
  728. large serving basin. "Won't have no trouble with you, will we?"
  729. Lyddie picked up the stool and moved to a corner of the room. She knew
  730. she was no beauty, never had been, but she was a fierce worker. She'd
  731. prove that to the woman. Should she offer to help now? But the cook was
  732. too busy moving the food from the fire to the long wooden table in the
  733. center of the room to pay her any mind. Lyddie scrunched her body into
  734. itself and tucked her bare feet under the low stool, fearful of seeming
  735. in the way. Would all the guests come in here to eat? And if so, where
  736. should she hide?
  737. As if to answer her question, the mistress pushed through the door with
  738. a boy behind her. "Hurry," she said. She supervised while the last of
  739. the food was transferred from the iron kettles into great china basins,
  740. which the cook and the boy carried from the kitchen to some other part
  741. of the house. The mistress mumbled and grumped orders, and in between
  742. complained of the guest who made herself out to be a lady when she was
  743. nothing but a factory girl putting on fancy airs.
  744. If the mistress saw Lyddie sitting in the corner, she never let on.
  745. Lyddie was glad to be ignored. She needed time and a chance to wash and
  746. change her dusty clothes. If only she hadn't worn her better homespun to
  747. travel in. The one in the gunnysack was even tighter and more ragged.
  748. She hadn't had a new dress since they sold the sheep four years ago.
  749. Since then, her body had begun to make those strange changes to wom-
  750. anhood that exasperated her. Why couldn't she be as thin and straight as
  751. a boy? Why couldn't she have been a boy? Perhaps, then, her father would
  752. not have had to leave. With an older son to help, maybe he could have
  753. made a living for them on the hill farm.
  754. But, hard as she wished, hard as she tried, she was only a girl. She
  755. was, as girls go, scrawny and muscular, yet her boyish frame had in the
  756. last year betrayed her. Her breasts were small and her hips only
  757. slightly curved, but she couldn't help resenting these visible signs
  758. that she was doomed to be female.
  759. Even the last year before Papa left, he had begun sending her in to help
  760. her mother. "She never really got over the baby's birth," he'd say. But
  761. once there was no more wool to spin, she felt as though her presence in
  762. the house just made her mother try less. One by one, the household tasks
  763. had been turned over to Lyddie-cooking and churning and cleaning and
  764. caring for the babies. For a while her mother spun the flax. They had no
  765. loom and paid the village weaver in spun flax for cloth. Her father had
  766. left them in a new shirt her mother had made. But that was the last
  767. garment her mother sewed. Lyddie tried to keep up the spinning, but when
  768. she had to take her father's place outdoors, she was too exhausted to
  769. try to spin and sew in the dim candlelight.
  770. Last winter she sewed one shirt. She had made it for Charlie because he,
  771. too, was outgrowing his clothes, and the old wool shirt their father had
  772. left behind hung on him like a nightdress.
  773. As it turned out, Mistress Cutler provided her with a storebought
  774. calico gown. It was softer than her rough brown homespun and fit her
  775. much better, but somehow it suited her less. How could she enjoy the
  776. garment of her servitude? She was fit with new boots as well. They
  777. pinched her feet and made her long to go barefoot, but she wore them, if
  778. not meekly, at least with determined obedience. After a few weeks and
  779. many blisters, they softened a little, and she was able to forget them
  780. for an hour or so at a time.
  781. The people at Cutler's were not so easy to forget. The mistress was
  782. large in body and seemed to be everywhere on watch. How could a woman
  783. so obviously rich in this world's goods be so mean in the use of them?
  784. Her eyes were narrow and close and always on the sharp for the least bit
  785. of spilt flour or the odd crumb on the lip.
  786. Not that Lyddie would stoop to steal a bite of bread. But the boy,
  787. Willie Hyde, was given to snatching the last of the loaf as he carried
  788. the breadbasket from the table to the kitchen. He was a year or so older
  789. than Charles and growing like red birch, and to hear the mistress carry
  790. on, about as useless. He was sent to shed or barn or field whenever he
  791. was not needed in the tavern itself. Lyddie would not have said so, but
  792. she envied him the chance to be outdoors and out of boots so often.
  793. Mistress Cutler watched Lyddie like a barn cat on a sparrow, but Lyddie
  794. was determined not to give her cause for complaint. She had worked hard
  795. since she could remember. But now she worked even harder, for who was
  796. there to share a moments leisure with? Who would listen with her to a
  797. bird call, stare at the sunset, or watch a calf stumble on its long,
  798. funny legs toward its mother? Missing Charlie was like wearing a stone
  799. around her neck.
  800. She slept under the eaves in a windowless passage, which was hot and
  801. airless even in late spring. She was ordered to bed late and obliged to
  802. rise early, for the mistress was determined that no paying, guest in the
  803. windowed rooms across the narrow passageway should know that they shared
  804. the floor with the kitchen girl.
  805. She spoke rarely, but she listened intently, storing up stories for
  806. Charlie. She didn't consider writing him. She was ashamed to have
  807. Charlie see her poor penmanship and crude spelling and, besides, there
  808. was no money for paper or postage-nothing except the calf money, and she
  809. would not spent a half penny of that. Indeed, at night when she was too
  810. tired or too hot to sleep, she would take the gunnysack out from under
  811. her straw mattress and count the money in the darkness. It's like little
  812. Agnes sucking her thumb, she scolded herself, but she didn't stop. It
  813. was the only comfort she had that summer.
  814. * * *
  815. It was nearly September when she saw the pink silk lady again. She had
  816. come this time on the coach from Burlington, and was headed, Lyddie
  817. overheard her say at supper, for Lowell, Massachusetts. When another
  818. traveler asked her business in Lowell, she smiled and said, "Why I work
  819. in the Hamilton Mill there. Yes," she added, answering her questioner's
  820. stare, "I'm one of those /factory girls./"
  821. The man murmured something and turned his face toward his bowl of stew.
  822. The lady watched him, still smiling, and then, catching Lyddie's eye,
  823. smiled even more broadly, as though to imply that Lyddie was a comrade
  824. in some peculiar way.
  825. Indeed, when the men had left the dining room to go into the taproom,
  826. she stayed behind, reading a book she had taken from a small silk purse
  827. that matched her lovely dress.
  828. "I've seen you before, haven't I?"
  829. Lyddie looked around to see to whom the lady was speaking, then
  830. realized the room was empty except for the two of them.
  831. "In late May, when I was headed home to the farm for the summer."
  832. Lyddie cleared her throat. She had lost the habit of conversation. She
  833. nodded.
  834. "You're not one of the family here."
  835. Lyddie shook her head.
  836. "You're a good worker. I can see that."
  837. Lyddie nodded again to acknowledge the compliment and turned again to
  838. loading the dirty dishes on her tray.
  839. "You'd do well in the mill, you know. You'd clear at least two dollars a
  840. week. And"-she paused--"you'd be independent."
  841. She was lying, Lyddie was sure of it. No girl could make that much money
  842. in a week's time.
  843. "It's hard work, but maybe easier than what you do here, and you'd have
  844. some time to yourself, to study or just rest."
  845. "My mother's promised me here," Lyddie said quickly because the door
  846. from the kitchen was moving and suddenly Mistress Cutler was in the
  847. dining room. The woman looked from the lady to Lyddie, opening her mouth
  848. to speak, but Lyddie didn't wait. She hurried past her into the kitchen.
  849. That night, again she counted the calf money. The lady had been lying,
  850. of course. But still, how had a farmer's daughter bought a silk dress?
  851. Chapter 4: Frog in a Butter Churn
  852. When Lyddie first came to the tavern, Willie built up the morning fire.
  853. But he overslept often and several times the fire went out and someone
  854. had to be sent to the neighbor's for live coals. The mistress was too
  855. mean to invest in a tinderbox, but she was mortified to be thought a
  856. careless housewife who let her kitchen fire die, so she put Lyddie in
  857. charge of it.
  858. The first few nights Lyddie was fearful that she would not wake up early
  859. enough in her windowless room and slept on the hearth all night, so as
  860. to be sure to be the first up in the morning.
  861. Triphena came in one morning and found her there, but instead of
  862. scolding, took pity. A sort of friendship began that morning. The cook
  863. was past her middle years and homely. She had never married, preferring,
  864. as she said, "not to be a slave to any man." She was large and vigorous,
  865. impatient with Willie, who had to be told things more than once, but,
  866. as the days wore on, won over by Lyddie's hard work and quiet ways.
  867. One morning while Lyddie was churning, just as the cream was breaking
  868. into curdles, the cook told Lyddie about the two frogs who fell into the
  869. pail of milk. "One drowned right off," she said, nodding her head in the
  870. direction of the door, which had just slammed shut behind Willie's back.
  871. "But the other kicked and kicked, and in the morning they found him
  872. there, floating on a big pat of butter."
  873. Lyddie smiled despite herself.
  874. "Ehyeh," Triphena continued. "Some folks are natural born kickers. They
  875. can always find a way to turn disaster into butter."
  876. We can stil hop. Lyddie nearly laughed out loud.
  877. Triphena cocked her head in question, but Lyddie only smiled and shook
  878. her head. She couldn't share Charlie's joke with someone else.
  879. Autumn came all too quickly. The days grew suddenly short. And never,
  880. though she dreamed and plotted as she scrubbed the iron kettles and
  881. churned the butter and bellowed up the fire, never a chance to take the
  882. calf money home.
  883. There was no word from Charlie. Not that she truly expected a
  884. letter-they had neither money for stationery and postage nor the time or
  885. energy for composition. She tried to keep him in her mind-to picture, as
  886. she lay upon her own cot, how he was growing and what he was doing. She
  887. rarely thought of Rachel and Agnes or their mother. The three of them
  888. seemed to belong to another, sadder life. The possibility of their
  889. father's return slipped into a back corner of her mind. She wondered
  890. once if he were dead, and that was why she seldom thought of him now.
  891. There was no pain in the thought, only a kind of numb curiosity.
  892. She and Charlie had left their mother's note and notes of their own to
  893. Papa on the table in the cabin, weighted down by the heavy iron
  894. candlestick, so, in case he returned, he would know where they were. But
  895. the old vision of him coming up the narrow track had faded like a
  896. worn-out garment. When she realized that the dream she'd clutched for
  897. three years had slipped from her grasp, she wondered if she should feel
  898. bad that she had lost it. Her own voice said crossly within her head:
  899. "He shouldn't have gone. He should never have left us."
  900. The flaming hills of early October died abruptly. At last, the dreary
  901. rains of late fall turned into the first sputterings of snow until the
  902. world was beautiful once more with the silver branches of the bare trees
  903. and the lush tones of the evergreens against the gleaming banks of snow,
  904. so white you had to squint your eyes against it on a sunny day.
  905. The master put the wagons and carriages in the shed and set Willie to
  906. cleaning the mud off wheels and undercarriages, and the sleds were
  907. brought out. The stagecoach came less often now. Though there was plenty
  908. of work to be done in the short winter days, there were not many guests
  909. to feed or look after. The few who came seemed as closed and secretive
  910. as the freezing grayness of the weather, bent on some narrow business
  911. of their own. "Slave catcher," Triphena was heard to mutter after one
  912. dark, sleekly well-dressed gentleman departed. "I don't like the smell
  913. of them."
  914. If she had been home, she might have spent the dark afternoons
  915. spinning or sewing, but the mistress bought her woolens and calicoes at
  916. the village stores. She did not even card or spin the wool from their
  917. own sheep. It was sent to Nashua or Lowell, where it could be done in a
  918. gigantic water-powered mill. All the wealth that had once been Vermont's
  919. seemed to be trickling south or west. In fact, the master was heard to
  920. say that come spring, the sheep would be sold, because the western
  921. railroads were bringing such cheap wool to the Lowell factories that a
  922. New England sheep farmer could no longer compete.
  923. It was what her own father had said, but his flock had been much smaller
  924. than Cutler's, so their family had felt the pinch years sooner.
  925. One late morning, as she was peeling and cutting potatoes for the boiled
  926. noon meal, she felt a presence behind her shoulder. Then someone tweaked
  927. her right braid. She looked about, annoyed, expecting to say a sharp
  928. word to the bothersome Willie, when she saw it was Charlie.
  929. She stood up, the knife and potato still in her hand. "Oh," she said.
  930. "Oh, you surprised me."
  931. He was grinning. "I meant to," he said. "You look well."
  932. "You're taller," she said, but it was a lie. He looked smaller than she
  933. remembered, but he would have been pained to hear that. "How are you,
  934. Charlie?" It wasn't a pleasantry, she really needed to know.
  935. "Stil hopping," he said with a grin. "Work is slow in winter, so they
  936. let me come to see how you were."
  937. Now that she was seeing him at last, she hardly knew what to say. "Have
  938. you heard anything from Mama and the babies?" she asked.
  939. He shook his head. His hair was longer, but neater somehow. A better
  940. barber than she had trimmed it, she realized with a pang.
  941. "You're busy," he said. "I don't mean to hinder you."
  942. It was a stupid conversation. But both the cook and Willie were in the
  943. kitchen, and the mistress would be in and out. How could they say
  944. anything that mattered?
  945. "Have you been to home at all?" she asked, turning back to her work and
  946. motioning him to sit on a low stool beside her.
  947. "No," he said. "Nor you, ey?"
  948. She shook her head. She wanted to tell him about the money. How she
  949. wanted to get it safely home. Ask him what she should do, but she
  950. couldn't, of course, with others about.
  951. "I saw Luke a few times," he said. "He's been up once or twice to look
  952. at the farm. The house is fine." He lowered his voice. "He had a bit of
  953. a laugh about the way we blocked the door. He had to climb in the
  954. window."
  955. She didn't like the idea of Luke or anyone else climbing in 3°
  956. the window. It made the cabin seem less secure. A coon or a bear might
  957. climb through the window as well, or a tramp. But she didn't comment.
  958. "Do they work you hard?" she asked softly. He looked so small and thin.
  959. "They're fair. The miller works as hard as any of us hands. The food is
  960. plenty and good."
  961. Then why aren't you bigger? she wanted to ask him, but she held her
  962. tongue.
  963. After he had gone, she thought of a hundred things she wished she had
  964. said. She could have told him about the frogs, if she'd remembered to.
  965. He would have laughed, and she longed to hear his laugh. She was much
  966. lonelier after he went. His presence for an hour had rubbed off some of
  967. her protection, leaving her feeling raw and exposed. He had left about
  968. noon, carrying some bread and cheese Triphena had pressed on him for his
  969. journey. He was wearing snowshoes that looked nearly as long as he was
  970. tall. Suppose it began to snow before he got back safely? Suppose he got
  971. lost? She tried to shake off her anxieties. Would someone let her know
  972. if something were to happen to him? It would be days, for they would let
  973. her mother know first, and then she might or might not write to Lyddie.
  974. It was too hard being separated like this. It was not right.
  975. "The weather will hold, ey?" Triphena said, reading her mind. Lyddie
  976. sighed deeply. "You're worse than a little mother," the woman chided,
  977. but her eyes were softer than usual.
  978. The weather did hold for another three days, and then the blizzard of
  979. the winter came. The stock was watered and fed, the cows were milked,
  980. but there was little that Otis and Enoch, the two hired men, could do
  981. outdoors, so the kitchen was crowded with men, seeking the warmth of the
  982. great fire as they made spills for the March sugaring, whittling
  983. four-inch segments of sumac, which they hollowed out with red-hot
  984. pokers. She thought of how she and Charlie had made spills last winter
  985. for tapping their own maples. Their own efforts were so childish
  986. compared to the practiced skill of these hired men.
  987. She could hardly move in the kitchen, large as it was, without tripping
  988. over the gangly legs of a man or having one of them bar her path to the
  989. fireplace with a poker. Triphena grumbled continuously under her breath
  990. and rejoiced audibly when they left to tend to the livestock.
  991. But Lyddie didn't mind so much. Their bodies were in the way of
  992. everything she had to do, but as they worked they talked, and the talk
  993. was a welcome window into the world beyond the tavern.
  994. "They caught another slave up near Ferrisburg."
  995. "The legislature can say all they want to about not giving up runaways,
  996. but as long as them rewards are high, somebody's going to report them."
  997. "Well, you gotta decide." Enoch spat at the fire. His spit sizzled like
  998. fat on a hot griddle. "Who's in charge? Down in Washington slavery is
  999. the law of the land. Man buys a horse fair and legal, he sure as hell
  1000. going after it if it bolts. You pay for something, it's yours. If the
  1001. law says a man can own slaves, he's got a right to go after them if they
  1002. bolt. Ain't no difference I can see."
  1003. "And if I happen to return somebody's property, seems to me I deserve a
  1004. reward." Otis paused to pull his poker from the flames and thrust it
  1005. smoking through the center of the sumac spill he held. "None of them
  1006. high and mighty folks in Montpelier offered to pay me a hundred dollars
  1007. /not/ to report a runaway, now have they?"
  1008. "Well, this weather they likely to be froze 'fore you find 'em. You
  1009. reckon the reward holds froze or thawed?"
  1010. "Why you suppose anyone'd try to run in winter? Don't they know how easy
  1011. it is to track a critter in the snow?"
  1012. "Way I figure, it's not snowing down there where they come from, ey?
  1013. They don't know what it's like up this way. They just see a chance to
  1014. run, they run. They don't give it good thought."
  1015. I'd give it good thought, Lyddie said to herself. I'd get it all figured
  1016. out close and choose my time right. If I was running, I'd pick me a
  1017. early summer night with a lot of moon. I'd just travel by night, sleep
  1018. in the day . . .
  1019. "Can you believe these fools?" Triphena Was saying in her ear. "They
  1020. don't know what it's like to be trapped."
  1021. Lyddie had never seen a black person. She tried to imagine how one might
  1022. look and act. In a way, she'd like to see one, but what would she do?
  1023. What would she say? And supposing it /was/ a fugitive, what then? One
  1024. hundred dollars! Would they really give you a hundred dollars for
  1025. turning in a runaway slave? Surely, with that much money, she could pay
  1026. off her father's debts and go back home.
  1027. March came. The sap began to rise in the sugar bush, and Cutler's was in
  1028. a frenzy of activity. Willie went with the hired men to help in the
  1029. gathering and boiling of the sap. Mr. Cutler had built a large sugaring
  1030. shed two summers ago, and the only time any of the men were around the
  1031. big house was when the livestock needed tending to. Even then, Lyddie
  1032. was called on to help with the milking and the feeding and watering of
  1033. the stock.
  1034. Added to all her other chores was the task of clarifying the syrup
  1035. brought up to the house. They had never bothered much with clarifying at
  1036. the farm as there had hardly been enough syrup or sugar for the family,
  1037. but the mistress was very particular and stood over Lyddie directing
  1038. her.
  1039. It was hot and exhausting work-beating milk and ash lye with the syrup
  1040. and boiling the mixture until the impurities rose to the top in a scum
  1041. and could be skimmed off-but the mistress, who only watched and
  1042. commanded, declared the light, clear syrup worth the effort.
  1043. Some of the clarified syrup was boiled until it turned to sugar and was
  1044. molded into fancy shapes. Lyddie's favorite among the lead molds was the
  1045. head of George Washington, though sometimes the nose stuck and it was
  1046. ruined.
  1047. It was because of the molded sugar that Lyddie's dream of taking the
  1048. calf money home came true, though she couldn't have known how that dream
  1049. was going to come out.
  1050. Chapter 5: Going Home
  1051. By the second week of April, the sap had ceased to run, but it had been
  1052. a good sugaring season. The mistress decided to take a large selection
  1053. of the molded maple sugar to Boston. She could pay for her trip by
  1054. selling the sugar, and it would give her a chance to see the big city
  1055. and her perpetually ailing sister.
  1056. Work did not disappear with the departure of the mistress, but it became
  1057. as pleasant as a holiday. "If I could make life so happy for others just
  1058. by going away, I'd go more often," Triphena said. In two weeks Lyddie
  1059. and Triphena and Willie, when they could catch him, turned the huge
  1060. house inside out with scrubbing and cleaning. It smelled as good as the
  1061. air of coming spring. And though there was a bit of fresh snow toward
  1062. the end of the month, Lyddie knew it for the sham winter it was. Spring
  1063. could not be denied forever.
  1064. "Well," said the cook one night. "The mistress earned herself a trip.
  1065. I think the rest of us have, too."
  1066. "Where will you go, ey?" asked Lyddie wistfully.
  1067. "Me?" Triphena said. She was knitting and her worn red hands fairly flew
  1068. over the yarn. "I got no place I want to visit. I been to Montpelier
  1069. twice. That's enough. Boston's too big and too dirty. I wouldn't like
  1070. it. Where would you go?"
  1071. "Home," said Lyddie, her voice no more than a whisper.
  1072. "Home? But that's hardly ten miles."
  1073. Lyddie nodded. It might as well be ten thousand.
  1074. "You can go and be back in no more than a couple of days at most."
  1075. What was the woman saying?
  1076. "Go on. Tomorrow, if you like."
  1077. Lyddie couldn't believe her ears. "But . . ."
  1078. "Who's going to care with the mistress gone?" She turned the row and
  1079. began to purl without ever looking down.
  1080. "Would it be all right?"
  1081. "If I say so," Triphena said. "With her gone, I'm in charge, ey?" Lyddie
  1082. wasn't going to argue. "If you was to wait, the ground would thaw to
  1083. mud. Better go tomorrow if it's fair. Take a little sugar to your
  1084. brother on the way."
  1085. Lyddie opened her mouth to ask again if it would be all right, but
  1086. decided not to. If Triphena said she could go, who was Lyddie to
  1087. question?
  1088. She was up before the sun, but she could tell the day would be a good
  1089. one. She took a lunch bucket of bread and cheese and a little packet of
  1090. molded sugar. The snow in the roadway was already turning to mud, and
  1091. she slung a pair of snowshoes on her back in case the tracks up the
  1092. mountain were still deep in snow.
  1093. She reached the mill in less than an hour, but to her disappointment
  1094. Charlie was not there.
  1095. "I think he's off somewheres," one of the men said. "But you can ask up
  1096. at the house."
  1097. A pretty, rather plump woman answered Lyddie's knock. "Yes?" she said,
  1098. but she was smiling.
  1099. "I come to see Charles Worthen." Lyddie seemed to stumble over the
  1100. words, which made her flush with embarrassment. "I'm his sister."
  1101. "Of course," the woman said. "Come in."
  1102. Lyddie stopped to leave her snowshoes and lunch bucket on the porch,
  1103. then followed the woman into a large, fragrant kitchen. "I was just
  1104. starting dinner," the woman said as if in apology as she hurried to stir
  1105. the stew bubbling over the fire in the stone fireplace. "Charles is at
  1106. school today." She replaced the lid on the kettle. ''He's a very
  1107. bright boy."
  1108. "Yes," said Lyddie. She would not be envious of Charlie. They were
  1109. nearly the same person, weren't they?
  1110. "My husband is growing very fond of him."
  1111. What did she mean? Who was growing fond of Charlie? Charlie was not
  1112. their child, not even their apprentice. She felt a need to explain to
  1113. the woman that Charlie belonged to her, but she couldn't figure out how.
  1114. "Just tell him I was here, ey?" she said awkwardly. At the door she
  1115. remembered the sugar and shoved it at the woman. "Some sugar," she
  1116. mumbled.
  1117. "We'd be happy for you to stay awhile," the woman said, but Lyddie was
  1118. already picking up her things. "I have to go," she said. "Not much
  1119. time."
  1120. She realized later that she had forgotten to say thank you. But there
  1121. was no going back. Besides she was in a hurry to get to the farm. She'd
  1122. have time to clean the house well and check the roofs, as well as find a
  1123. good place to hide the money. She'd just spend the night there, as it
  1124. would be almost dark by the time she got everything done.
  1125. If she got an early start the next day, perhaps she could stop by once
  1126. more at the mill . . . but, no . . . She couldn't stop by again and ask
  1127. for Charlie and have him at school again. What would they think of her?
  1128. And it might embarrass Charlie to have his sister clucking over him like
  1129. an old biddy hen. She couldn't stand the thought of Charlie being
  1130. mortified by her in front of these people who thought so highly of him.
  1131. Well, she was glad. Hadn't she felt bad that he didn't have a father and
  1132. mother like Luke Stevens had to watch over him? But these weren't his
  1133. real family. She was his real family. More than their mother, really,
  1134. who had shucked them off like corn husks to follow her craziness.
  1135. Her anger, or whatever emotion it was that kept her head reeling, kept
  1136. her feet moving as well. She was walking past the Stevenses' farm by
  1137. noon. She never stopped to eat, but on the last leg of the trip she
  1138. suddenly realized her hunger and chewed on the now hard roll and dry
  1139. cheese as she climbed the narrow track toward the farm.
  1140. There was still plenty of snow on the track, but it was better packed
  1141. than she had imagined. Mr. Westcott must be going back and forth to see
  1142. to his cows. And then she realized there was snow on the pastures.
  1143. There'd be no animals up in the fields. But of course-the sugaring. He
  1144. had gone back and forth gathering sap from the sugar bush.
  1145. When she rounded the bend, she half expected the cabin to have
  1146. disappeared. But there it sat, sagging a bit, squat and honest as her
  1147. father had built it. The firewood was stacked against the door as she
  1148. and Charlie had left it. The roofs seemed undamaged from the
  1149. snow-thanks, perhaps, to Luke Stevens. Those must be his tracks around
  1150. the cabin. She felt kindly toward the tall, awkward young Quaker for
  1151. taking care.
  1152. She fetched the short ladder from the shed and propped it against one of
  1153. the two south windows. Then she fetched a piece of split wood from the
  1154. pile at the front door. The window should be easy to pry open unless it
  1155. had swollen, but it hadn't. Indeed, it seemed to open quite smoothly, as
  1156. though welcoming her home. Lyddie propped it up with the wood. She put
  1157. her right leg over the sill and scrunched her head down onto her chest
  1158. to squeeze into the opening.
  1159. Then she saw it at the fireplace-a shadowy form. She stifled a scream.
  1160. "Luke?" she whispered. "That you?"
  1161. The form turned and stood up. She could barely make it out in the gloom
  1162. of the cabin. It was a tall man. But not Luke. There was a strange man
  1163. in her home-the whites of his eyes seemed enormous. And then she
  1164. realized what was so strange about him. In the dim light his face and
  1165. hands were very dark. Only his eyes shone. She was looking at a black
  1166. man.
  1167. Chapter 6: Ezekial
  1168. With one leg over the windowsill and her body pressed up under the
  1169. window frame, there seemed no way to run. But why should she run? It was
  1170. her house, after all, and what was one measly man, black or white,
  1171. compared to a bear? Besides- she broke into a cold sweat--this man was
  1172. likely to be worth one hundred dollars. Keeping her eyes on the intruder
  1173. as though he /were/ a bear, she managed to get her left foot across the
  1174. sill and straighten herself to a sitting position on the window ledge.
  1175. Pretending courage seemed to manufacture it, so she was just about to
  1176. open her mouth to ask the man who he was and what he was doing in her
  1177. house when he spoke to her.
  1178. "Verily, verily I say unto you, he that entereth not by the door but
  1179. climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber." His voice
  1180. was deep and smooth, almost like thick, brushed fur. She knew his words
  1181. were from the Bible, but she was so astonished by the music of them that
  1182. she sat there open- mouthed, unable to protest that whatever /he/ might
  1183. be, she was no thief.
  1184. "Never fear, little miss. My heart assures me that you're neither a
  1185. thief nor a robber."
  1186. "No," she said, and then louder to show her authority, "I'm mistress
  1187. here."
  1188. "Ah," he said, "we meet at last. You must be Miss Lydia Worthen, my
  1189. hostess. Forgive my intrusion."
  1190. "How do you know my name, ey?" She had meant to ask his, or at least
  1191. what he was doing in her house, but, as before, he'd gotten the better
  1192. of her with his fancy talk and quick mind.
  1193. "Brother Stevens," he said. "He felt you would be understanding." He
  1194. glanced at her, and for the first time since he had spied her at the
  1195. window his expression seemed uncertain. "I hope he was not mistaken."
  1196. He smiled apologetically. "Here, do come down from there and share a
  1197. cup of tea with me. You've had a long journey, I'd imagine, and a rude
  1198. shock, finding your home occupied by a stranger."
  1199. What else was she to do? She took the hand he held out to her, surprised
  1200. by its roughness, as his skin looked like satin in the dim light.
  1201. He helped her to the floor. She followed as he led her to the rocker,
  1202. and then she sat perched on the edge of the chair as he handed her a cup
  1203. of birch tea. Why hadn't she spied smoke, coming up the road? But the
  1204. man's fire was tiny, so perhaps there was none to see. The cabin was
  1205. cold, though warmer than the outdoors. The man poured himself a cup and
  1206. pulled up a stool on the other side of the fireplace to sit down facing
  1207. her.
  1208. "You've come from the village," he said.
  1209. She nodded. The man could hardly be a runaway slave. He talked like a
  1210. congregational preacher. But he was in hiding, that was plain.
  1211. "I should introduce myself," he said, reading her mind. "I'm Ezekial
  1212. Abemathy, or was so called formerly. I was on the way northward when the
  1213. snow delayed me last November."
  1214. Then he /was/ a fugitive.
  1215. "I was conveyed to Brother Stevens's farm, where I stayed until it
  1216. became, clear that someone was watching their farm.
  1217. That was when young Luke spirited me here. He thought your log pile at
  1218. the door would discourage curiosity."
  1219. "We done it to keep out wild critters."
  1220. "Yes," he said. "And you succeeded. I've been quite safe from wild ones
  1221. here." He took a sip of his tea, keeping his. eyes on the rim of the
  1222. cup. "So far." He glanced up at her. "I would have left at once, but I
  1223. was inconveniently ill. In the cold my lungs have been slow to clear."
  1224. "You talk like a preacher."
  1225. He relaxed a little. "Well, I am, or rather, I was."
  1226. "Then you ain't a slave?"
  1227. "Some have considered me a slave."
  1228. "But you talk nice." She hadn't meant to put it that way, but it came
  1229. out unthought.
  1230. He smiled. "So do you."
  1231. "No," she said, "I mean you've had schooling-"
  1232. "I was my own schoolmaster," he said. 'At first I only wanted to read
  1233. the Bible so I could preach to my people. But" -he smiled again, showing
  1234. his lovely, even teeth-"a little reading is an exceedingly dangerous
  1235. thing."
  1236. "Reading the Bible?"
  1237. "Especially the Bible," he said. "It gave me notions."
  1238. "So you just left, ey? Just set out walking?"
  1239. He leaned his head back, remembering. "Something like that," he said,
  1240. but she could tell from his eyes that it was nothing like that at all.
  1241. "I couldn't leave my home," she said.
  1242. "No? And yet you did."
  1243. "I had no choice," she said hotly. "I was made to."
  1244. "So many slaves," he said softly.
  1245. "I ain't a slave," she said. "I just-I just--" Just what? "There was the
  1246. debt my father left, so . . ." Whatever she said only made it seem
  1247. worse. "But we own the land. We're freemen of the State of Vermont."
  1248. He looked at her. "Well, my father is, or was, till he left, and my
  1249. brother will be . . ." But Charlie was at school and living with
  1250. strangers. She hated the man for making her think this way.
  1251. "I left the only home I knew," he said quietly. "I left a wife and child
  1252. behind, vowing I would send for them or come for them within a few
  1253. months. And here I sit, sick and penniless, hiding for my life, totally
  1254. dependent on the kindnesses of others for everything." He shook his head
  1255. and she was sorry she had had a moment's hate of him. Somewhere,
  1256. perhaps, her father was saying those very same words.
  1257. After a while he stood up. "I can offer you a little rabbit stew," he
  1258. said. "I'm afraid that's about all I have at the moment. Brother Luke
  1259. will be coming up tonight with more food, I think, but if you're
  1260. hungry-"
  1261. "I have some bread and cheese," she said.
  1262. "A veritable feast," he said, his good humor returned.
  1263. "When I first saw you"-they were eating and somehow she needed to let
  1264. him know-"I . . . thought . . ." But she was ashamed to finish the
  1265. sentence.
  1266. "It's a lot of money," he said gently. "I'd be tempted myself if I were
  1267. you."
  1268. She could feel herself go hot and red. "But I won't," she said fiercely.
  1269. "Now I know you, I couldn't ever."
  1270. "Thank you," he said. "A compliment as beautiful as the giver."
  1271. "It's dark in here," Lyddie said. "Or you could see I'm plain as sod."
  1272. "Or lovely as the earth." He used such fancy words, but she knew he
  1273. wasn't using words to make fun of her.
  1274. Luke did come in the night, but she had slept so soundly that she didn't
  1275. hear him. The proof was the odor of porridge bubbling over the fire when
  1276. she awoke. She had slept in her clothes, and scrambled down the loft
  1277. ladder at once.
  1278. "Ah, the sleeper awaketh!"
  1279. "It's late," she said. "I have to go." But he made her wait long enough
  1280. to eat.
  1281. It was a strange good-bye. She did not hope to see Ezekial again. She
  1282. hoped that he could cross the border fast as a fox- far away from the
  1283. snares of those who would trap him. How could she have imagined for one
  1284. minute that she could betray him? "I hope you get to Canada safe," she
  1285. said. "And I hope your family can join you real soon." And then, without
  1286. even thinking, she thrust her hand into her pocket and held out to him
  1287. the calf-money bag. "You might need something along the way," she said.
  1288. The coins jangled as she passed them over.
  1289. "But this is yours. You'll need it. You earned it."
  1290. "No," she said. "I didn't earn it. It come from selling the calf. I was
  1291. only going to bury it-till it was needed."
  1292. "Will you think of it as a loan, then?" he asked. "When I get
  1293. established, I'll send it to you care of the Stevenses. With interest,
  1294. if I can."
  1295. "There's no hurry. Wait till your family comes. I don't know when my
  1296. brother and I can ever get back." She felt leaden with sadness. She
  1297. pushed the stool to the window and climbed up. He held the window open
  1298. as she climbed out. Someone- Luke perhaps--had left the short ladder in
  1299. place.
  1300. "I can never thank you, my friend," Ezekial said.
  1301. "It was half Stevenses' calf by rights," she said, trying to diminish
  1302. for both of them the enormity of what she had done. "It was their
  1303. bull."
  1304. "I hope you find your freedom as well, Miss Lydia," he said. It wasn't
  1305. until she was well down the road that she began to try to figure out
  1306. what he had meant. And he was right. At Cutler's, despite Triphena's
  1307. friendship, she was no more than a slave. She worked from before dawn
  1308. until well after dark, and what did she have to show for it? She was no
  1309. closer to paying off the debt and coming home than she'd been a year
  1310. ago. She needed cash money for that. She needed work that would pay and
  1311. pay well. And there was only one place in New England where a girl could
  1312. get a good cash wage for her work-and that was in Lowell, in the mills.
  1313. The weather held and the trip back was mostly downhill, so she was back
  1314. by early afternoon. She hung the unused snowshoes in the shed and the
  1315. lunch bucket in the pantry before she entered the warm kitchen.
  1316. "So! You've decided to honor us with a visit!" The mistress's face was
  1317. red with heat or rage. Behind her, Triphena grimaced an apology.
  1318. She stood in the doorway, trying to frame an excuse or apology, but as
  1319. usual the words did not come quickly enough to mind.
  1320. "You're dismissed!" the woman said.
  1321. "The best one you ever had," Triphena muttered.
  1322. "Unless-"
  1323. "No," Lyddie said quickly. "I know I done wrong to go off when you
  1324. wasn't here. I'll just collect my things and be gone, ey?
  1325. "You're wearing my dress!"
  1326. "Yes, ma'am. Shall I wash it before I go or-?"
  1327. "Don't be impertinent!"
  1328. Lyddie went past the angry woman without a word and up the back
  1329. staircase to her tiny, windowless room. She pulled off the calico dress
  1330. and put on the tight homespun, but it was like laying off a great
  1331. burden. She felt more lighthearted than she had since the day Mrs. Peck
  1332. brought the letter.
  1333. Triphena had followed her up. "Just stay out of sight today. By
  1334. tomorrow she'll have come to her senses. She knows you're the best
  1335. worker she's ever likely to get-and at no price at all.
  1336. Why she sends your mother fifty cents a week, and then, only if I remind
  1337. her."
  1338. "I'm going to be a factory girl, Triphena."
  1339. "You what?"
  1340. "I'm free. She's set me free. I can do anything I want. I can go to
  1341. Lowell and make real money to pay off the debt so I can go home."
  1342. "But your brother-"
  1343. "He'll be all right. He's in a good place where he's cared for. They're
  1344. even letting him go to school."
  1345. "How can you get to Massachusetts? You've no money for coach fare."
  1346. "I'll walk," she said proudly. "A person should walk to freedom."
  1347. "A person's feet will get mighty sore," muttered Triphena.
  1348. Chapter 7: South to Freedom
  1349. Lyddie set out at once. Or nearly at once. First Triphena made the girl
  1350. put on her own second-best pair of boots. They were, of course, too
  1351. large for Lyddie, so she had to wait while the cook fetched two extra
  1352. pairs of stockings and paper with which to stuff the toes. When Lyddie
  1353. objected, Triphena kept muttering, "A person can't walk to
  1354. Massachusetts barefoot, not in April, she can't."
  1355. Next, Triphena made her wait while she packed her a parcel of food large
  1356. enough to feed a table of harvesters. And, finally, she gave her a tiny
  1357. cloth purse with five silver dollars in it.
  1358. "It's too much," Lyddie protested.
  1359. "I'm not having your dead body on my conscience," the cook said. "It
  1360. will be enough for coach fare and the stops along the way. The only
  1361. tavern food I trust is my own."
  1362. "But the mistress ..."
  1363. "You leave the mistress to me."
  1364. "I'll pay you back the money-with interest when I can," Lyddie promised.
  1365. Triphena only shook her head, and gave her a pat on the buttocks as
  1366. though she were five years old.
  1367. "Just don't forget me, ey? Give your old friend a thought now and again.
  1368. That's all the interest I'll be wanting."
  1369. It was three in the afternoon before she could even start her journey,
  1370. but she would not let Triphena persuade her to wait.
  1371. She might let the mistress talk her into staying or lose her nerve if
  1372. she didn't set out at once.
  1373. Her heart was light even if her feet felt clumsy in their makeshift
  1374. boots and oversized stockings. She remembered Ezekial and thought: He
  1375. walked north for freedom and I am walking south.
  1376. She had forgotten in the excitement that she had already walked above
  1377. ten miles that day, but her feet remembered. Long before dark they were
  1378. chafing in the unaccustomed bindings of stockings and ill-fitting
  1379. boots, reminding her that they had done too much. She sat down on a rock
  1380. and took the boots off. But before long she felt chilled, so she put
  1381. them on again and started out, but more slowly than before.
  1382. Then, just at dusk, the sky opened, and it began to rain-not light
  1383. spring showers, but cold, soaking torrents of rain, streaming down her
  1384. face, icicling rivulets down her chest and legs.
  1385. She was obliged, reluctantly, to stop in the next village and seek
  1386. shelter for the night. The mistress of the local inn was at first
  1387. shocked to see a young girl traveling alone and then solicitous. "You
  1388. look near drowned!" she cried, and asked her where she thought she was
  1389. headed.
  1390. "Lowell, is it? Well, the stagecoach will be coming through the end of
  1391. the week. Work for me till then and I'll give you your board."
  1392. Lyddie hesitated, but her sodden clothes and blistered feet reminded her
  1393. how unsuited she was to continue the journey. She gratefully accepted
  1394. the mistress's offer and worked so hard that before the week was out the
  1395. woman was begging her to forget Lowell and stay on. But Lyddie was not
  1396. to be persuaded.
  1397. She boarded the coach on Thursday in the same dismal rain she'd arrived
  1398. in. Handing over three of her precious dollars to the driver, she
  1399. settled herself in the corner of the carriage. There were only two
  1400. other passengers-a man and a woman who seemed to be married, though they
  1401. hardly spoke to each other. The woman gave Lyddie's dress and shawl and
  1402. strange boots a critical going over with her eyes, then settled again to
  1403. her knitting, which the bumping of the coach made difficult.
  1404. With the muddy roads, it took two days to get to Windsor. They had not
  1405. even left Vermont. Lyddie often wished she had saved her dollars and
  1406. walked-rain or no rain. Surely she could have made it just as fast. But
  1407. at least the disagreeable people left the coach at Windsor. The bed in
  1408. the inn was infested with bugs, so she felt both filthy and itchy the
  1409. next morning, and was not happily surprised that the coach, which had
  1410. seemed overcrowded with three, was now to carry six as far as Lowell.
  1411. One of the passengers was a girl about her own age. Lyddie wanted to ask
  1412. her if she, too, was going for a factory girl, but she had a young man
  1413. with her who appeared to be her brother, so Lyddie was hesitant to
  1414. speak. Then, too, she remembered the look the previous female passenger
  1415. had given her.
  1416. The six of them were jammed into the carriage. There was hardly room for
  1417. any of them to move, yet the rolling and pitching of the coach seemed
  1418. worse rather than better for the load. Lyddie tried to sit delicately on
  1419. one hip and then the other-to spread the bruising out if possible. One
  1420. of the gentlemen lit a large pipe and the odor of it nearly made her
  1421. retch. Fortunately, another gentleman reminded him sternly that there
  1422. were ladies present, and the first man reluctantly tapped his pipe
  1423. against the metal fixings of the door. But the stench had already been
  1424. added to the air of foul breath and strong body odors. Lyddie longed for
  1425. a healthy smell of a farmyard. People were so much fouler than critters.
  1426. And still, when the others weren't concentrating on keeping their seats
  1427. in the swaying coach, they were looking at her-at her clothes
  1428. especially. At first she was mortified, but the longer they rode, the
  1429. angrier she became. How rude they were, these so-called gentry.
  1430. Everyone's clothes were a disgrace before they'd reached Lowell. The
  1431. thaw and spring rains had turned parts of the roadway into muddy
  1432. sloughs, and despite the coachman's skill, early on the last morning
  1433. they were stuck fast. The passengers were all obliged to alight, and the
  1434. four men ordered by the coachman to push the wheels out of the rut.
  1435. Lyddie watched the hapless gentlemen heave and shove and sweat, all to
  1436. no avail. The coachman yelled encouragement from above. The men grunted
  1437. and cursed below as their fancy breeches and overcoats turned brown with
  1438. the mud and their lovely beaver hats went rolling off down the road.
  1439. After at least a quarter of an hour of watching, she could stand their
  1440. stupidity no longer. Lyddie took off her worn shawl, tied it about her
  1441. waist, and tucked up her skirts under it. She found a flat stone and put
  1442. it under the mired wheel. Then she waded in, her narrow shoulders
  1443. shoving two of the gaping men aside as she set her own strong right
  1444. shoulder against the rear wheel, ordered the men to the rear boot, and
  1445. called out; "One, two, three, heave!"
  1446. Above, she heard the laughter of the coachman. The men beside her were
  1447. not smiling, but they did push together. The wheel rolled over the
  1448. stone, and the coach was free to continue the journey.
  1449. She was filthy, but she hardly cared. She could only think of how
  1450. ignorant, how useless her fellow passengers had been. None of them
  1451. thanked her, but she hardly noticed. She was eager to be going, but not
  1452. to ride inside. She looked up at the still smiling coachman. "Can I come
  1453. up?" she called.
  1454. He nodded. Lyddie scrambled up beside him. None of the gentlemen offered
  1455. her a hand, but she needed none, having spent her life climbing trees
  1456. and ladders and roofs.
  1457. The coachman was still chuckling as he gave the horses a crack of the
  1458. whip. Cries of protest rose up from the passengers below. He jerked the
  1459. reins, his eyes twinkling, as more cries came up from the irate inmates
  1460. as they tried to disentangle their bodies in the carriage and settle
  1461. themselves on the seats once more.
  1462. He shook his head at Lyddie and held the pawing team for a few moments
  1463. until the jostling in the carriage finally ceased. "You're a hardy one,
  1464. you are," he said, reaching into the box behind him to pull out a heavy
  1465. robe. "Here, this will keep the chill off."
  1466. She wrapped the robe around her head and body. "Silly fools," she said.
  1467. "Not the common sense of a quill pig 'mongst the lot of them. Why didn't
  1468. you tell them what to do, ey?"
  1469. "What?" he said. "And lose the entertainment?"
  1470. Lyddie couldn't help but laugh, remembering the sight of those sweating,
  1471. swearing, filthy gentlemen, and now they were further poisoning the
  1472. already stale air of the carriage with their odor and road mud. Indeed,
  1473. someone was already raising the shade to let in a bit of cold, fresh
  1474. air.
  1475. "So, you're for the factory life?"
  1476. Lyddie nodded. "I need the money."
  1477. He glanced sideways at her. "Those young women dress like Boston
  1478. ladies," he said.
  1479. "I don't care for the fancy dress. There's debts on my farm ..."
  1480. "And it's your farm, now is it?"
  1481. "My father's," she said. "But he headed West four years ago, and we
  1482. haven't heard ..."
  1483. "You're a stout one," he said. "Ain't you brothers to help?"
  1484. "One," she said. "And he'd be a great help, only my mother put him out
  1485. to a miller, so until-"
  1486. "Have you someone to look out for you in Lowell? A relative, or a
  1487. friend?"
  1488. She shook her head. "I'll do all right on my own."
  1489. "I've no doubt of that," he said. "But a friend to put in a word can't
  1490. hurt. Let me take you to my sister's. She runs a boardinghouse, Number
  1491. Five, it is, of the Concord Manufacturing Corporation."
  1492. "I'm obliged for your kindness, but-"
  1493. "Think of it as payment for your help."
  1494. "You could have had it out in no time, had you-"
  1495. "But never such fun. Coaching can be a wearisome, lonesome job, my
  1496. girl. I take my pleasure where I can. Did you see those gentlemen's
  1497. faces, having to be rescued by a slip of a farm girl?"
  1498. They crossed the bridge into the city late that afternoon. And city it
  1499. surely was. It seemed to Lyddie that there were as many buildings
  1500. crowded before her as sheep in a shearing shed. But they were not soft
  1501. and murmuring as sheep. They were huge and foreboding in the gray light
  1502. of afternoon. She would not have believed that the world contained as
  1503. much brick as there was in a single building here. They were giants-five
  1504. and six stories high and as long as the length of a large pasture.
  1505. Chimneys, belching smoke, reached to the low hanging sky.
  1506. And the noise of it! Her impulse was to cover her ears, but she held her
  1507. hands tightly in her lap. She would not begin to be afraid now, she who
  1508. had stared down a bear and conversed easily with a runaway slave.
  1509. The other passengers in their muddy clothing and with their various
  1510. trunks alighted at the Merrimack Hotel. Lyddie could tell at a glance it
  1511. was too grand for her purse and person.
  1512. In the end, she waited until the coachman had seen the horses and
  1513. carriage taken care of and then let him walk her to his sister's
  1514. boardinghouse. "I've brought you a little chip of Vermont granite," he
  1515. explained to the plump, smiling woman who met them at the door. Then he
  1516. added, "We'd best come in by the back. Run into a little muddy stretch
  1517. on the way down."
  1518. Chapter 8: Number Five, Concord Corporation
  1519. At first she thought it was the bear, clanging the oatmeal pot against
  1520. the furniture, but then the tiny attic came alive with girls. One struck
  1521. a stick against a box, making the flash and odor of a tiny hell. And all
  1522. this was just to light a candle that barely softened the predawn gloom
  1523. of the attic. In the clatter of five girls dressing and squabbling over
  1524. a single basin, Lyddie was forced fully awake and began to remember
  1525. where she was.
  1526. Filthy as she had been, Mrs. Bedlow, the coachman's sister, had kindly
  1527. taken her in. The boardinghouse keeper hurriedly gave her brother a cup
  1528. of tea and sent him on his way. Then she had her son, a boy about
  1529. Charlie's age, fill a tub of hot water in her own bedroom and ordered
  1530. Lyddie to bathe. The mud-caked dress and shawl she carried away as soon
  1531. as Lyddie shed them and plopped them directly in a pot of boiling water
  1532. on the black iron cook stove.
  1533. And what a stove it was! Lyddie had only heard rumors of such modern
  1534. wonders. When she came in from the boardinghouse keeper's bedroom, her
  1535. face scrubbed barn red, her warm, lazy body straining every seam of her
  1536. one remaining dress, the first thing her eyes lit upon was the stove.
  1537. She stared at it as though it were an exotic monster from the depths of
  1538. the sea. If she could have chosen, Lyddie would have pulled a chair
  1539. close to it and felt its wonderful warmth and studied its marvels, but
  1540. Mrs. Bedlow urged her into the dining room, which was soon filled with a
  1541. noisy army of almost thirty young women, still full of energy after
  1542. their long day in the factory. Lyddie's own head nearly settled into
  1543. the plate of pork and beans, so that long before the others had
  1544. finished, Mrs. Bedlow helped her up the four flights of stairs to the
  1545. attic room, where she fell into bed hardly awake enough to mumble thanks
  1546. for the woman's kindness.
  1547. And now, on this first morning of her new life, she lay in bed a few
  1548. minutes to relish the quiet of the empty attic. Three days rattling in a
  1549. coach, then to share a room with five others-indeed, a bed with a
  1550. stranger who woke Lyddie in the middle of the night with her tossing and
  1551. snoring-to be clanged awake by a bell, and to have her head punctured by
  1552. shrieks and squeals and the rattle of voices-it made the windowless
  1553. alcove she had left behind at Cutler's seem a haven of peace. But she
  1554. would not look back. She threw off the quilt. She had nothing to wear
  1555. but her much too small homespun. It couldn't be helped. She dressed
  1556. herself and padded down the four flights of stairs in her darned and
  1557. redarned stockings.
  1558. The front room was crowded with the two large dining tables that Tim,
  1559. Mrs. Bedlow's son, was scurrying to set. Wonderful smells of coffee
  1560. and apple pie and hash and-would it be fish?--wafted through the house
  1561. from the magical stove as though to prove how many separate wonders it
  1562. could perform at once.
  1563. "I've left my boots ..." Lyddie started.
  1564. Mrs. Bedlow looked up, her round face radiant from the heat. "They're
  1565. by the stove drying, but they won't do, you know."
  1566. "Ey?"
  1567. "Your clothes. Your boots. They simply won't do. That dress is only fit
  1568. now to be burned. Or what's left of it. I'm afraid it turned to mud stew
  1569. in my kettle. What could my crazy brother have been thinking of letting
  1570. a mere girl . . . ?"
  1571. "Oh, it wasn't his fault, ma'am," said Lyddie, slipping her feet into
  1572. Triphena's boots, now stiff from a night beside the stove. "It was the
  1573. men. They were so stupid . . ."
  1574. "You needn't tell me. I know that brother of mine. He was sitting up on
  1575. top laughing, not giving a word of direction."
  1576. "But he had the coach and team ..."
  1577. "Nonsense. He does it to amuse himself and humiliate his betters. He'd
  1578. wreck a coach if he thought it would give him a rollicking story to tell
  1579. in the tavern that night. And all at the cost of your clothes and
  1580. dignity."
  1581. "Well, I ain't lost much either way."
  1582. "Have you any money at all?"
  1583. Lyddie hesitated. She really didn't. It was Triphena's money, not her
  1584. own.
  1585. "If I'm to recommend you to the Concord Corporation, you need to look
  1586. decent. They like to hire a good class of girls here."
  1587. Lyddie reddened.
  1588. "Of course, you're as good as anyone, a better worker than most, I
  1589. suspect, but at the factory they'll look at your clothes and shoes to
  1590. decide. The Almighty may look at the heart, but 'man looketh on the
  1591. outward appearance' as the Good Book says, and that goes for women too,
  1592. I fear. So you'll have to do better than ..." She looked sadly at
  1593. Lyddie's tight homespun and stiff, worn boots.
  1594. Lyddie hung her head. "I have a bit left over from the trip. But it's
  1595. on loan."
  1596. "You can pay it back after you're working. Now, would you like to give
  1597. me a hand? I think the girls will be home for breakfast early. The
  1598. river's too high and the mill wheels are likely slowing. It means a
  1599. holiday for them, but not for me."
  1600. Lyddie hastened to grab a cloth and take a pie Mrs. Bedlow was removing
  1601. from the bowels of the stove. "Yes," Mrs. Bedlow continued, "there'll be
  1602. a few days off now till the water goes down." She smiled. "Time enough
  1603. to get you proper clothes and a place in the factory as well."
  1604. If the girls had seemed noisy before, it was nothing compared to their
  1605. entrance to breakfast. They burst through the door, each high-pitched
  1606. voice shrieking to be heard over the others. There was an air of holiday
  1607. that hardly paused for a blessing over the food and that erupted full
  1608. blast before the echo of the "amen" died.
  1609. Lyddie, her feet alternately sloshing about and being pinched by
  1610. Triphena's shoes, determinedly helped Tim serve both large tables. They
  1611. brought in great platters of fried cod, hash, potato balls, pumpkin mush
  1612. with huge pitchers of cream, toast and butter, apple pie, and pitchers
  1613. of coffee and milk. Lyddie had never seen harvesters eat so much or so
  1614. noisily. And these were supposed to be ladies.
  1615. "Hello, there," a voice cut through the din. "We didn't really meet
  1616. you."
  1617. The room was suddenly quiet. "Don't be rude, Betsy," another said.
  1618. "She was tired last night." Lyddie turned to see who had said this last
  1619. because it was her idea of a lady's voice. The young woman who had
  1620. spoken was smiling. "You only came in last night, didn't you, my dear?"
  1621. Lyddie nodded.
  1622. "There, don't be shy. We were all new once, even our Betsy." There was a
  1623. titter from the rest. "I'm Amelia Cate." Her name was
  1624. aristocratic-Amelia. It suited her. She was almost as pretty as the
  1625. lady in pink that had come through the inn last year. Her skin was white
  1626. and her face and hands long and delicate. And she was respected, or the
  1627. others wouldn't have stopped chattering when she spoke.
  1628. "And you?"
  1629. "Lyddie Worthen. /Lydia/ Worthen." With a rough finger she scratched at
  1630. the tight homespun across her chest. It seemed to Lyddie that the room
  1631. was full of young women, all well-dressed, all delicate, all beautiful.
  1632. And she a crow among peacocks.
  1633. "Vermont, isn't it?" said the one called Betsy, and a few of the others
  1634. laughed.
  1635. "What's the matter with Vermont?" The voice had a bare trace of a Green
  1636. Mountain twang. "I'm from near Rutland myself. Where do you hail from,
  1637. Lyddie?"
  1638. Lyddie turned to see a girl not much older than herself, but, like all
  1639. the others, whiter of complexion. She had light hair braided in a crown
  1640. about her head and a serious face that a few freckles failed to relieve.
  1641. Lyddie pulled at her own straggly brown plaits, grateful when attention
  1642. shifted and the room was once again filled with chattering.
  1643. After breakfast, Amelia and the Rutland girl, whose name was Prudence
  1644. Allen, offered to take her shopping for a proper dress, work apron,
  1645. shoes, and bonnet. As they were leaving, Mrs. Bedlow pressed something
  1646. into Amelia's hand, which turned out to be a dollar that Mrs. Bedlow
  1647. claimed was a payment from her roguish brother for damages to Lyddie's
  1648. clothing on the way.
  1649. Much to Lyddie's distress, it took all the money she had left, including
  1650. the coachman's dollar, to dress her in a manner that satisfied Amelia
  1651. and Prudence. She was so pained at the waste of money that she couldn't
  1652. enjoy any of the new things, though she was pressed to wear the shoes
  1653. home. In her heart she knew that she had never had a better-fitting
  1654. pair-even the stiffness that she felt around the toes and heels and
  1655. ankles was simply a reminder that she had on grand new city boots. When
  1656. they were broken in, she would be able to walk anywhere in such
  1657. shoes-even home.
  1658. Lyddie never quite knew how it was decided, but Mrs. Bedlow told her
  1659. that evening that she would move her things from the attic to Amelia and
  1660. Prudence's room on the third floor.
  1661. The other girls might grumble, which indeed they did, being passed over
  1662. for a choice room by a newcomer, but Amelia had persuaded Mrs. Bedlow
  1663. that since Lyddie had no relatives or friends in the house, indeed in
  1664. the city, she needed their particular caring. Mrs. Bedlow, still
  1665. feeling guilty about her brother, gave in. So Lyddie was moved to a
  1666. smaller bedroom on the third floor to be with Amelia, Prudence, and the
  1667. obviously disgruntled Betsy, who, since their previous roommate had
  1668. gone home to New Hampshire the week before, had had the luxury of a bed
  1669. to herself.
  1670. Four to a room was in itself a luxury, as most of the rooms held six.
  1671. But even so, there was hardly any space to walk around the two double
  1672. beds, the two tiny nightstands, and the various trunks and bandboxes of
  1673. the inhabitants. There was no place to sit except on the beds, but then,
  1674. on a regular workday there was no leisure time except the less than
  1675. three hours between supper and curfew. Most of the girls spent their
  1676. short measure of free time down in the parlor/dining room or out in town
  1677. where there were shops and lectures and even dances, all run by honest
  1678. citizens bent on parting the working girls from their wages.
  1679. "Now," said Amelia, who was far more conscientious about her duties as
  1680. caretaker than Lyddie would have wished, "where will you be going to
  1681. church on the Sabbath?"
  1682. Lyddie looked up in alarm. Living as far as they had from the village,
  1683. the Worthens had never even bothered to pay pew rent in the village
  1684. congregational church. "I-I hadn't thought to go."
  1685. Amelia sighed, reminding Lyddie that she was proving a harder case than
  1686. the older girl had bargained for. "Oh, but you must," she said.
  1687. "What Amelia means," Betsy said, looking up from her novel, "is that
  1688. regardless of the state of your immortal soul, the corporation requires
  1689. regular attendance of all its girls. It makes us look respectable, even
  1690. those of us who waste our precious minds on novels."
  1691. "Oh, do behave yourself, Betsy."
  1692. "Sorry, Amelia, but if I let you carry on about her moral duties when
  1693. the girl plainly has no notion of them herself, this conversation will
  1694. last all night." She put down her book and looked Lyddie straight in the
  1695. face. "They'll probably make you put in an appearance from time to time
  1696. somewhere. The Methodists don't press girls for pew rent, so if you're
  1697. short on money, best go there. You have to pay for it in longer sermons,
  1698. but nonetheless I always recommend the Methodists to new girls with no
  1699. particular desire to go anywhere."
  1700. "Betsy!"
  1701. "Betsy likes to sound shocking," Prudence explained patiently. "Don't
  1702. take it to heart." She was brushing out her long blonde hair and looked
  1703. like a princess in a fairy tale, though her voice was far too
  1704. matter-of-fact for a story book.
  1705. "But-" How should Lyddie explain it? "But, ain't Massachusetts a free
  1706. country?"
  1707. "Of course, my dear," Amelia said. "But there are rules and regulations
  1708. here as in any civilized establishment. They are meant for our own good,
  1709. my dear. You'll see."
  1710. Betsy rolled her eyes and went back to her novel.
  1711. The next morning Mrs. Bedlow led Lyddie down the street past all the
  1712. corporation boardinghouses to the bridge that led to the factory
  1713. complex. Between two low brick buildings was a tall wooden fence. The
  1714. gate of the fence was locked like a jail yard, but Mrs. Bedlow wasn't
  1715. deterred. She simply went to the door of one of the low buildings and
  1716. walked in. Lyddie followed, dragging her feet, for the room they entered
  1717. was larger than the main floor of Cutler's Tavern, and it was crowded
  1718. with tables and scriveners' desks. There were a few men working about
  1719. the huge room, who looked up over their pens and account books as the
  1720. two women passed, but it was clear that nothing much was being
  1721. accomplished even in the counting room now that the water was too high
  1722. to drive the mill wheel.
  1723. Mrs. Bedlow walked straight through the room and out the door on the
  1724. opposite side into a courtyard large enough, it seemed to Lyddie, for
  1725. the whole of their mountain farm to fit inside. The front gate and low
  1726. south buildings-the counting house, offices, and storerooms, as Mrs.
  1727. Bedlow explained- formed part of the enclosure. The two slightly shorter
  1728. sides were taller frame structures-the machine shops and repair
  1729. shops-and across the whole north end of the compound was the cotton mill
  1730. itself-a gigantic six-story brick building. At one end ran the frame
  1731. structure of the outdoor staircase. From the brick face, six even rows
  1732. of windows seemed to glower down at her through the gray April drizzle
  1733. like so many unfriendly eyes. A bell tower rose from the long roof,
  1734. making the building seem even taller and more forbidding.
  1735. "It must seem imposing to a farm girl," Mrs. Bedlow said.
  1736. Lyddie nodded and tightened her grip on her shawl to keep from
  1737. trembling.
  1738. Mrs. Bedlow turned back toward the low south building and knocked on a
  1739. door marked "Agent."
  1740. "I've brought you a new girl," she said cheerily to the young man who
  1741. opened the door. "Fresh from the farm and very healthy, as you can see."
  1742. The young man hardly gave Lyddie a glance, but stepped back and held the
  1743. door for them to come in. "I'll see if Mr. Graves can spare a minute,"
  1744. he said haughtily.
  1745. "These clerks do put on airs," Mrs. Bedlow whispered, but if she was
  1746. trying to make Lyddie feel more at ease, she failed. Nor was the sight
  1747. of the agent himself any comfort.
  1748. "Mrs. Bedlow, isn't it?" He was a fat, prosperous-looking man, but
  1749. without the manners to stand when a middle-aged lady came into his
  1750. office.
  1751. Mrs. Bedlow talked very fast, her face flushed. Lyddie was sure the man
  1752. would turn them both away-he looked barely patient as Mrs. Bedlow
  1753. rattled on. But in the end, he said he would give Lyddie a contract for
  1754. one year. There was a shortage in the weaving room at the moment. Mr.
  1755. Thurston, the clerk, would give the girl the broadside with the
  1756. regulations for the Concord and arrange for her to have her smallpox
  1757. vaccination the following morning.
  1758. They were dismissed with a nod. Mrs. Bedlow punched Lyddie and prompted
  1759. her to thank the agent for his kindness. Lyddie's voice could hardly
  1760. manage a whisper, but it didn't matter. The gentleman wasn't paying her
  1761. any attention.
  1762. She signed the paper where the clerk pointed, tried to listen carefully
  1763. to all his warnings about what the contract demanded, and stuffed the
  1764. broadside that he handed her into her apron pocket. She would study it
  1765. tonight, she decided, her heart sinking. She could tell at a glance that
  1766. it would be almost impossible for her to make out the meaning of such a
  1767. paper. Oh, if only Charlie were here to read it aloud to her and
  1768. explain the long words. Factory girls were not supposed to be ignorant,
  1769. it would seem.
  1770. It would be several months before she could read with ease the
  1771. "Regulations for the Boarding Houses of the Concord Corporation." But
  1772. she found out the next day that it concealed unpleasant truths. The
  1773. first of these was the vaccination. Mrs. Bedlow marched her over to the
  1774. hospital after dinner where a doctor cruelly gouged her leg and poured a
  1775. mysterious liquid directly into the wound.
  1776. Lyddie was even more distressed when the wound turned into a nasty sore
  1777. in a few days' time, but she was only laughed at for her distress and
  1778. told it was all for her own good. She'd never get the pox now, so she
  1779. should be grateful. Amelia, indeed, was always instructing her to be
  1780. grateful about things that Lyddie, try as she might, could not summon
  1781. the least
  1782. whiff of gratitude over. But finally, when she had been alternately
  1783. shocked and bored for the better part of two weeks, the announcement was
  1784. made at supper that work was to begin again the next day, and Lyddie
  1785. felt a surge of gratitude that her days of idleness were over. She would
  1786. be a true factory girl in a few hours' time.
  1787. Lyddie was mostly disappointed, but perhaps a tiny bit relieved, when
  1788. Mrs. Bedlow announced that she would take her over to the weaving room
  1789. after dinner. The large noonday meal must be out of the way and the
  1790. dishes washed before the housekeeper could spare a moment, she said.
  1791. Besides, it wouldn't do to be totally worn out the first day. Four hours
  1792. would be plenty to start with.
  1793. The gate was locked. "They don't want tardy girls slipping past," Mrs.
  1794. Bedlow explained. "You must always take care to be here when the bell
  1795. rings." They entered the factory complex through the counting room as
  1796. they had two weeks before, but this time it was teeming with men, all
  1797. dressed like gentlemen. Every head seemed to rise, and every eye
  1798. looked their way. Despite her new clothes, Lyddie could feel the shame
  1799. burning through her rough brown cheeks. She ducked her bonneted head
  1800. and hurried through as fast as she could, almost shoving Mrs. Bedlow in
  1801. her haste.
  1802. Once in the yard, she was acutely aware of the thudding. The pulse of
  1803. the factory boomed through the massive brick wall, and she could feel
  1804. the vibrations of the machinery as they made their way up the shadowy
  1805. wooden staircase, which clung for dear life to the side of the building.
  1806. Mrs. Bedlow huffed ahead, stopping more than once to catch her breath on
  1807. the climb to the fourth floor. Once there, she jerked open the door, and
  1808. the thudding beat exploded into a roar. She gave Lyddie a little push
  1809. toward the racket. "Mr. Marsden is expecting you!" she yelled. "He'll
  1810. see you settled in." And she was gone.
  1811. Chapter 9: The Weaving Room
  1812. Creation! What a noise! Clatter and clack, great shuddering moans,
  1813. groans, creaks, and rattles. The shrieks and whistles of huge leather
  1814. belts on wheels. And when her brain cleared enough, Lyddie saw through
  1815. the murky air row upon row of machines, eerily like the old hand loom in
  1816. Quaker Stevens's house, but as unlike as a nightmare, for these
  1817. creatures had come to life. They seemed moved by eyes alone-the eyes of
  1818. neat, vigilant young women-needing only the occasional, swift
  1819. intervention of a human hand to keep them clattering.
  1820. From the overarching metal frame crowning each machine, wooden
  1821. harnesses, carrying hundreds of warp threads drawn from a massive beam
  1822. at the back of each loom, clanked up and down. Shuttles holding the weft
  1823. thread hurtled themselves like beasts of prey through the tall forests
  1824. of warp threads, and beaters slammed the threads tightly into place.
  1825. With alarming speed, inches of finished cloth rolled up on the beams at
  1826. the front of the looms.
  1827. The girls didn't seem afraid or even amazed. As she walked by with the
  1828. overseer, girls glanced up. A few smiled, some stared. No one seemed to
  1829. mind the deafening din. How could they stand it? She had thought a
  1830. single stagecoach struggling to hold back the horses on a downhill run
  1831. was unbearably noisy. A single stagecoach! A factory was a hundred
  1832. stagecoaches all inside one's skull, banging their wheels against the
  1833. bone. Her impulse was to turn and run to the door, down the rickety
  1834. stairs, through the yard and counting room, across the narrow bridge,
  1835. past the row of boardinghouses, down the street-out of this hellish city
  1836. and back, back, back to the green hills and quiet pastures.
  1837. But of course she didn't move a step. She didn't even cover her ears
  1838. against the assault. She just stood quietly in front of the machine that
  1839. the overseer had led her to and pretended she could hear what he was
  1840. saying to her. His mouth was moving, a strange little red mouth peeping
  1841. out from under his bushy black mustache. The luxuriant growth of the
  1842. mustache was all the more peculiar because the overseer had hardly any
  1843. hair on his head. His pate gleamed like polished wood.
  1844. Suddenly, to Lyddie's astonishment, the man put his red mouth quite
  1845. close to her ear. She jerked her head away before she realized he was
  1846. shouting the words: "Is that quite clear?"
  1847. Lyddie stared at him in terror. Nothing was clear at all. What did the
  1848. man mean? Did he seriously think she could possibly have heard any of
  1849. his mysterious mouthings? But how could she say she had heard nothing
  1850. but the beastly racket of the looms? How could she say she could see
  1851. hardly anything in the morning gloom of the huge, barnlike room, the
  1852. very air a soup of dust and lint?
  1853. She was simply standing there, her mouth open with no words coming out,
  1854. when an arm went around her shoulders. She shrank again from the touch
  1855. before she saw it was one of the young women who tended the looms. Her
  1856. head was close enough to Lyddie's left ear so that Lyddie could hear her
  1857. say to the overseer, "Don't worry, Mr. Marsden, I'll see she settles
  1858. in."
  1859. The overseer nodded, obviously relieved not to have to deal with Lyddie
  1860. or the loom he'd assigned her.
  1861. "We'll work together," the girl shouted in her ear. "My two machines are
  1862. just next to you here. I'm Diana." She motioned for Lyddie to stand
  1863. close behind her right shoulder, so although Lyddie wasn't in her way as
  1864. she worked, the older girl could speak into Lyddie's left ear by turning
  1865. her head slightly to the right.
  1866. Suddenly, Diana banged a metal lever at the right of the machine and the
  1867. loom shivered to a halt. At either end of the shed, made by the
  1868. crisscrossing of warp threads, was a narrow wooden trough. From the
  1869. trough on the left she retrieved the shuttle. The shuttle was wood,
  1870. pointed and tipped at either end with copper. It was about the shape of
  1871. a corncob, only a little larger and hollowed out so that it could carry
  1872. a bobbin or quill of weft thread. With her hands moving so quickly that
  1873. Lyddie could hardly follow them, Diana popped out a nearly empty quill
  1874. of thread and thrust in a full one from a wooden box of bobbins near her
  1875. feet. Then she put her mouth to a small hole near one end of the shuttle
  1876. and sucked out the end of the weft thread.
  1877. "We call it the kiss of death," she shouted, smiling wryly to soften the
  1878. words. She pulled out a foot or more of the thread, wound it quickly
  1879. around one of two iron hooks, and rehung the hooks into the last row of
  1880. woven cloth. The hooks were attached by a yard or so of leather cord to
  1881. a bell-shaped iron weight. "You have to keep moving your temple hooks,"
  1882. Diana said. "Pulls the web down snug as you go." She pointed to the new
  1883. inches of woven fabric.
  1884. "Now," said Diana, speaking into Lyddie's ear, "make sure the shuttle is
  1885. all the way at the end of the race-always on your right here." She
  1886. placed the shuttle snug against the right- hand end of the trough. "We
  1887. don't want any flying shuttles. All right, then, we're ready to go
  1888. again." Diana grasped the metal lever, pulled it toward the loom, and
  1889. jammed it into a slot. The loom shuddered once more to life.
  1890. For the first hour or so Lyddie watched, trying mostly to stay out of
  1891. Diana's way as she moved among the three machines, two opposite and
  1892. one adjoining. The older girl refilled the shuttles when they ran low
  1893. and rehung the temple hooks to keep the web tight. Then, without
  1894. warning, for no reason that Lyddie could see, Diana slammed off one of
  1895. the looms.
  1896. "See," she said, pointing at the shed, "a warp thread's snapped. If we
  1897. don't catch that, we're in trouble." An empty shuttle might damage a few
  1898. inches of goods, she explained, but a broken warp could leave a flaw
  1899. through yards of cloth. "We don't get paid when we ruin a piece." She
  1900. pinched a tiny bag hung from the metal frame of the loom. It spit out a
  1901. puff of talc, which she rubbed into her fingertips. Then fishing out the
  1902. broken ends of warp, she showed Lyddie how to fasten them together with
  1903. a weaver's knot. When Diana tied the ends, they seemed to melt together,
  1904. leaving the knot invisible. She stepped aside. "Now you start it," she
  1905. said.
  1906. Lyddie was a farm girl. She took pride in her strength, but it took all
  1907. of her might to yank the metal lever into place. She broke into a sweat
  1908. like some untried plow horse. The temples were not much larger than
  1909. apples, but when Diana asked her to move one, she felt as though someone
  1910. had tied a gigantic field stone to the end of the leather cord. Still,
  1911. the physical strength the work required paled beside the dexterity
  1912. needed to rethread a shuttle quickly, or, heaven help her, tie one of
  1913. those infernal weaver's knots.
  1914. Everything happened too fast-a bobbin of weft thread lasted hardly five
  1915. minutes before it had to be replaced-and it was painfully deafening. But
  1916. tall, quiet Diana moved from loom to loom like the silent angel in the
  1917. lion's den, keeping Daniel from harm.
  1918. There were moments when all three looms were running as they ought-all
  1919. the shuttles bearing full quills, all three temples hung high on the
  1920. cloth, no warp threads snapping. During one of these respites, Diana
  1921. drew Lyddie to the nearest window.
  1922. The sill was alive with flowers blooming in pots, and around the frame
  1923. someone had pasted single pages of books and magazines. Diana pressed
  1924. down a curling corner of a poem. Most of the sheets were yellowing. "Not
  1925. so much time to read these days," Diana said. "We used to have more
  1926. time. Do you like to read, Lyddie?"
  1927. Lyddie thought of the regulations that she was still trying laboriously
  1928. to decipher when no one was looking. "I've not much schooling."
  1929. "Well, you can remedy that," the older girl said. "I'll help, if you
  1930. like, some evening."
  1931. Lyddie looked up gratefully. She felt no need with Diana to apologize or
  1932. to be ashamed of her ignorance. "I'm needing a bit of help with the
  1933. regulations ..."
  1934. "I shouldn't wonder. They're a trial for us all," Diana said. "Why
  1935. don't you bring the broadside over to Number Three tonight and we'll
  1936. slog through that wretched thing together."
  1937. Amelia was not pleased that evening after supper when she realized that
  1938. Lyddie was getting ready to go out. "Your first day. You ought to rest."
  1939. "I'm all right," said Lyddie. And, indeed, once the noise of the weaving
  1940. room was out of her ears, she did feel quite all right. A bit tired, but
  1941. certainly not overweary. "I aim to do a bit of studying," she said. It
  1942. made her feel 'proud to say such a thing.
  1943. "Studying? With whom?"
  1944. "The girl I'm working with in the weaving room. Diana-" She realized
  1945. that she didn't know Diana's surname.
  1946. Amelia, Prudence, and Betsy worked in the spinning room on the third
  1947. floor, so she supposed they did not know Diana. Betsy looked up from
  1948. her ever-present novel. "Diana Goss?" she asked.
  1949. "I don't know. Just Diana. She was very kind to me today."
  1950. "Diana Goss?" echoed Amelia. "Oh Lyddie, don't be taken in."
  1951. Lyddie couldn't believe her ears. "Ey?"
  1952. "If it's Diana Goss," Prudence said, "she's a known radical, and Amelia
  1953. is concerned-"
  1954. "Ey?"
  1955. Betsy laughed. "I don't think our little country cousin is acquainted
  1956. with any radicals, known or unknown."
  1957. "I know Quakers," Lyddie said. "Creation! They're abolitionists, every
  1958. one, ey?"
  1959. "Hoorah for you." Betsy put down her novel and made a little show of
  1960. clapping her hands.
  1961. Amelia was sewing new ribbons on her Sunday bonnet and, watching Betsy's
  1962. performance, managed to jab the needle into her finger instead of the
  1963. hat brim. She stuck her finger in her mouth and looked up annoyed. "I
  1964. wish you wouldn't keep saying things like 'creation' and 'ey,' Lyddie.
  1965. It's so-so--"
  1966. "Only the /new/ girls from Vermont speak like that," said Prudence,
  1967. whose own mountain speech was well tamed.
  1968. Lyddie didn't quite know what to do. She had no desire to anger her
  1969. roommates, but she was quite set on going to see Diana. It wasn't just
  1970. the foolish regulations. She wanted to learn everything-to become as
  1971. quietly competent as the tall girl. She knew enough about factory life
  1972. already to realize that good workers in the weaving room made good
  1973. money. It wasn't like being a maid where hard work only earned you a
  1974. bonus in exhaustion.
  1975. "Well," she said, tying her bonnet, "I'll be back soon."
  1976. "I'd rather you wouldn't go at all," Amelia said coolly.
  1977. Lyddie smiled. She didn't mean to seem unfriendly or even ungrateful,
  1978. though it was tiresome to be always beholden to Amelia. "I don't want
  1979. you to worry after me. I'm able to do for myself, ey?"
  1980. "Hah!" Betsy's short laugh came out like a snort.
  1981. "It's just-" Prudence said "--it's just that you haven't been here long
  1982. enough to know about certain things. Amelia doesn't-well, none of
  1983. us-want you to find yourself in an awkward situation."
  1984. For a moment Lyddie was afraid that Amelia or even Prudence would
  1985. start in to lecture her, so she grabbed her shawl and said as she was
  1986. moving out of the bedroom door, "I'll watch out." Though what she was
  1987. promising to look out for, she had no idea.
  1988. Diana's boardinghouse was only two houses away from her own. The
  1989. architecture was identical-a four-story brick building--lined with rows
  1990. of windows that blinked like sleepy eyes as lamps and candles were lit
  1991. against the dusk of an April evening.
  1992. The front door was unlocked, so she walked into the large front room,
  1993. like Mrs. Bedlow's, nearly filled with two large dining tables but with
  1994. the semblance of a living area on one side. And just as in Mrs. Bedlow's
  1995. parlor, chairs had been pulled away from the tables and girls were
  1996. chatting and sewing and reading in the living area. It was as noisy and
  1997. busy as a chicken yard. Peddlers had come off the street to tempt the
  1998. girls with ribbons and cheap jewelry. A local phrenologist was in one
  1999. corner measuring a girl's skull and preparing to read her character from
  2000. his findings. Several girls were watching this consultation transfixed.
  2001. Lyddie pushed the door shut but stood just inside, uncertain how to
  2002. proceed. How could she ask for Diana when she wasn't even sure of her
  2003. proper name?
  2004. But she needn't have worried. Out of the chattering mass of bodies,
  2005. Diana rose from her chair in the corner and came to where Lyddie stood.
  2006. She smiled and her long, serious face creased into dimples. "I'm so glad
  2007. you came. Let's go upstairs where we can speak in something less than a
  2008. shout."
  2009. What a relief it was to climb the stairs and leave most of the racket
  2010. two floors behind. There was no one else in Diana's room. "What a
  2011. treat," Diana said, as though reading Lyddie's mind. "Sometimes I'd sell
  2012. my soul for a moment of quiet, wouldn't you?"
  2013. Lyddie nodded. She suddenly felt shy around Diana, who seemed even more
  2014. imposing away from the looms when her lovely, elegant voice was pitched
  2015. rich and low like the call of a mourning dove.
  2016. "First, we need to get properly introduced," she said. "I'm Diana Goss."
  2017. She must have noted a flicker of something in Lyddie's face, because she
  2018. added, "The /infamous/ Diana Goss," and dimpled into her lovely smile.
  2019. Lyddie reddened.
  2020. "So you've been warned."
  2021. "Not really-"
  2022. "Well, then, you will be. I'm a friend of Sarah Bagley's." She watched
  2023. Lyddie's face for a reaction to the name, and when she got none tried
  2024. another. "Amelia Sargeant? Mary Emerson? Huldah Stone? No? Well, you'll
  2025. hear those names soon enough. Our crime has been to speak out for
  2026. better working conditions." She looked at Lyddie again. "Yes, why,
  2027. then, should the operatives themselves fear us? It is, dear Lyddie, the
  2028. nature of slavery to make the slave fear freedom."
  2029. "I'm not a slave," Lyddie said, more fiercely than she intended.
  2030. "You're not here for a lecture. I'm sorry. Tell me about yourself."
  2031. It was hard for Lyddie to talk about herself. She'd had no practice.
  2032. With Amelia and Prudence and Betsy, she didn't need to. They-especially
  2033. Amelia-seemed always to be telling her about herself or trying to make
  2034. her like themselves. Besides, what was interesting about her? What would
  2035. someone like Diana want to know?
  2036. "There's Charlie," she began. And before she knew it, she was explaining
  2037. that she was here to earn the money to pay off her father's debts, so
  2038. she and Charlie could go home.
  2039. Diana did not smile ironically or laugh as Betsy was sure to. She did
  2040. not once lecture her as though she were a slow child the way Amelia
  2041. often did-or offer a single explanation as Prudence would have felt
  2042. obliged to. No, the tall girl perched on the edge of a bed and listened
  2043. silently and intently until Lyddie ran out of story to tell. Lyddie was
  2044. a bit breathless, never having said so many words in the space of so few
  2045. minutes in her life. And then, embarrassed to have talked so long about
  2046. herself, she asked, "But I reckon you know how it is with families, ey?"
  2047. "Not really. I can hardly remember mine. Only my aunt that kept me until
  2048. I was ten. And she's gone now."
  2049. Lyddie made as if to sympathize, but Diana shook it off. "I think of the
  2050. mill as my family. It gives me plenty of sisters to worry about. But,"
  2051. she said, "I don't think I need to worry about you. You don't know what
  2052. it is /not/ to work hard, do you?"
  2053. "I don't mind work. The noise-"
  2054. Diana laughed. "Yes, the noise is terrible at the beginning, but you get
  2055. accustomed to it somehow."
  2056. Lyddie found that hard to believe, but if Diana said so . . .
  2057. "And I don't suppose you think a thirteen-hour day overly long, either."
  2058. Lyddie's days had never been run on clocks. "I just work until the work
  2059. is done," she said. "But I never had leave to go paying calls in the
  2060. evenings before."
  2061. "And the wages seem fair?"
  2062. "I ain't been paid yet, but from what I hear-"
  2063. "What did you get at the inn?"
  2064. "I don't know. Fifty cents the week, I think. They sent it to Mama.
  2065. Triphena said the mistress was like to forget as not.
  2066. I suppose Charlie-" Lyddie stopped speaking. Neither Charlie nor her
  2067. mother knew where she was!
  2068. "Is something the matter, Lyddie?"
  2069. "I haven't wrote them. Charlie nor my mother. They don't know where I
  2070. am." Suppose they needed her? How would they find her? Lyddie felt the
  2071. panic rising. She was cut off from them all. She might as well have gone
  2072. to the other side of the world. She was out of their reach. "When will
  2073. they pay me?"
  2074. "If it's paper you need-"
  2075. "It's postage, too. I'd have to prepay. They don't have the money to pay
  2076. at that end."
  2077. "I could manage postage."
  2078. "I can't borrow. I borrowed too much already,"
  2079. But Diana quietly insisted. Lyddie owed it to her family to let them
  2080. know right away, she said. She brought out paper, pen and ink, and a
  2081. sturdy board for Lyddie to write upon. Lyddie would have felt shy about
  2082. forming her letters so laboriously in front of Diana, but Diana took
  2083. up a book and made Lyddie feel as though she were alone.
  2084. Dear Mother,
  2085. You will be surprize to no I am gone to Lowell to work. I
  2086. am in the weving rum at the Concord Corp. I bord at number
  2087. 5 if you rit me. Everwun is kind and the food is plenty and
  2088. tasty. I am saving my muny to pay the dets.
  2089. I am well. I trus you and the babbies are well to.
  2090. Yr. fathfull dater,
  2091. Lydia Worthen
  2092. It seemed extravagant to take another sheet to write to Charlie, but
  2093. Diana had said that she ought to write to him as well.
  2094. Dear Bruther,
  2095. Do not be surprize. I am gone to Lowell for a factry girl.
  2096. Everwun is kind. The work is alrite, but masheens is nosy, beleev me.
  2097. The muny is good. I will save and pay off the dets. So we can stil hop.
  2098. (Ha ha)
  2099. Yr. loving sister,
  2100. Lydia Worthen
  2101. P.S. I am at Concord Corp. Number 5 if you can rit. Excuse al mistaks. I
  2102. am in grate hurry.
  2103. She folded the letters, sealed them with Diana's wax, and addressed
  2104. them. Before she could ask further about posting them, Diana took the
  2105. letters from her hand. "I have to go tomorrow anyhow. Let me mail them
  2106. for you."
  2107. "I'll pay you back as soon as I get paid." She sighed. "As soon as I pay
  2108. Triphena-"
  2109. "No," said Diana. "This time it's my welcoming gift. You mustn't try to
  2110. repay a gift."
  2111. The bell rang for curfew. "We haven't looked at the silly regulations,"
  2112. Diana said. "Well, another time . . ."
  2113. Diana walked her to Number Five. It was a bright, cool night, though in
  2114. the city, the stars seemed dim and far away. "Until tomorrow," Diana
  2115. said at the door.
  2116. "I'm obliged to you for everything," Lyddie said. Diana shook her head.
  2117. "They need to know. They'll worry." The roommates were already getting
  2118. into bed. "You're late," Amelia said.
  2119. "I come as soon as the bell rung-"
  2120. "Oh, you're not really late," said Betsy. "Amelia just doesn't approve
  2121. of where you've been."
  2122. "It /was/ Diana Goss, wasn't it?" Amelia asked. "Yes."
  2123. "And?" Lyddie was taking off her bonnet, then her shawl. And what? What
  2124. did Amelia mean? Amelia answered her own question. "Did she try to make
  2125. you join?"
  2126. Lyddie folded her shawl, still uncomprehending. "She means," said
  2127. Betsy, "did she tie you up and torture you until you promised to join
  2128. the Female Labor Reform Association?"
  2129. "Oh, Betsy," said Prudence.
  2130. "She never mentioned such," Lyddie said. She made her way around Amelia
  2131. and Prudences bed and trunks to the side of the bed that she shared with
  2132. Betsy. She sat on the edge and began to take off her shoes and
  2133. stockings.
  2134. "Then what were you doing all that time?"
  2135. Betsy slammed her book shut. "What affair is it of yours, Amelia?"
  2136. "It's all right," Lyddie said. She had no desire to get her roommates
  2137. stirred up over nothing. "She just give me paper to write to my family
  2138. to tell them where I was."
  2139. "Oh Lyddie," Prudence said. "How thoughtless of us. We never offered."
  2140. "No matter," Lyddie said. "I done it now."
  2141. "She's devious," Amelia muttered. "You have to watch her. Believe me,
  2142. Lyddie. I'm only thinking of your own good."
  2143. Betsy snorted, reached over, and blew out the candle as the final curfew
  2144. bell began to clang.
  2145. Chapter 10: Oliver
  2146. The four-thirty bell clanged the house awake. From every direction,
  2147. Lyddie could hear the shrill voices of girls calling to one another,
  2148. even singing. Someone on another floor was imitating a rooster. From
  2149. the other side of the bed Betsy groaned and turned over, but Lyddie was
  2150. up, dressing quickly in the dark as she had always done in the
  2151. windowless attic of the inn.
  2152. Her stomach rumbled, but she ignored it. There would be no breakfast
  2153. until seven, and that was two and a half hours away. By five the girls
  2154. had crowded through the main gate, jostled their way up the outside
  2155. staircase on the far end of the mill, cleaned their machines, and stood
  2156. waiting for the workday to begin.
  2157. "Not too tired this morning?" Diana asked by way of greeting.
  2158. Lyddie shook her head. Her feet were sore, but she'd felt tireder after
  2159. a day behind the plow.
  2160. "Good. Today will be something more strenuous, I fear. We'll work all
  2161. three looms together, all right? Until you feel quite sure of
  2162. everything."
  2163. Lyddie felt a bit as though the older girl were whispering in church. It
  2164. seemed almost that quiet in the great loom room. The only real noise
  2165. was the creaking from the ceiling of the leather belts that connected
  2166. the wheels in the weaving room to the gigantic waterwheel in the
  2167. basement.
  2168. The overseer came in, nodded good morning, and pushed a low wooden stool
  2169. under a cord dangling from the assembly of wheels and belts above his
  2170. head. His little red mouth pursed, he stepped up on the stool and pulled
  2171. out his pocket watch. At the same moment, the bell in the tower above
  2172. the roof began to ring. He yanked the cord, the wide leather belt above
  2173. him shifted from a loose to a tight pulley, and suddenly all the hundred
  2174. or so silent looms, in raucous concert, shuddered and groaned into
  2175. fearsome life. Lyddie's first full day as a factory girl had begun.
  2176. Within five minutes, her head felt like a log being split to splin-
  2177. ters. She kept shaking it, as though she could rid it of the noise, or
  2178. at least the pain, but both only seemed to grow more intense. If that
  2179. weren't trial enough, a few hours of standing in her proud new boots and
  2180. her feet had swollen so that the laces cut into her flesh. She bent
  2181. down quickly to loosen them, and when she found the right lace was
  2182. knotted, she nearly burst into tears. Or perhaps the tears were caused
  2183. by the swirling dust and lint.
  2184. Now that she thought of it, she could hardly breathe, the air was so
  2185. laden with moisture and debris. She snatched a moment to run to the
  2186. window. She had to get air, but the window was nailed shut against the
  2187. April morning. She leaned her forehead against it; even the glass seemed
  2188. hot. Her apron brushed the pots of red geraniums crowding the wide sill.
  2189. They were flourishing in this hot house. She coughed, trying to free her
  2190. throat and lungs for breath.
  2191. Then she felt, rather than saw, Diana. "Mr. Marsden has his eye on you,"
  2192. the older girl said gently, and put her arm on Lyddie's shoulder to turn
  2193. her back toward the looms. She pointed to the stalled loom and the
  2194. broken warp thread that must be tied. Even though Diana had stopped the
  2195. loom, Lyddie stood rubbing the powder into her fingertips, hesitating to
  2196. plunge her hands into the bowels of the machine. Diana urged her with a
  2197. light touch.
  2198. I stared down a black bear, Lyddie reminded herself. She took a deep
  2199. breath, fished out the broken ends, and began to tie the weaver's knot
  2200. that Diana had shown her over and over again the afternoon before.
  2201. Finally, Lyddie managed to make a clumsy knot, and Diana pulled the
  2202. lever, and the loom shuddered to life once more.
  2203. How could she ever get accustomed to this inferno? Even when the girls
  2204. were set free at 7:00, it was to push and shove their way across the
  2205. bridge and down the street to their boardinghouses, bolt down their
  2206. hearty breakfast, and rush back, stomachs still churning, for "ring in"
  2207. at 7:35. Nearly half the mealtime was spent simply going up and down the
  2208. staircase, across the mill yard and bridge, down the row of houses-just
  2209. getting to and from the meal. And the din in the dining room was nearly
  2210. as loud as the racket in the mill-thirty young women chewing and calling
  2211. at the same time, reaching for the platters of flapjacks and pitchers of
  2212. syrup, ignoring cries from the other end of the table to pass anything.
  2213. Her quiet meals in the corner of the kitchen with Triphena, even her
  2214. meager bowls of bark soup in the cabin with the seldom talkative
  2215. Charlie, seemed like feasts compared to the huge, rushed, noisy affairs
  2216. in Mrs. Bedlow's house. The half hour at noonday dinner with more food
  2217. than she had ever had set before her at one time was worse than
  2218. breakfast.
  2219. At last the evening bell rang, and Mr. Marsden pulled the cord to end
  2220. the day. Diana walked with her to the place by the door where the girls
  2221. hung their bonnets and shawls, and handed Lyddie hers. "Let's forget
  2222. about studying those regulations tonight," she said. "It's been too
  2223. long a day already."
  2224. Lyddie nodded. Yesterday seemed years in the past. She couldn't even
  2225. remember why she'd thought the regulations important enough to bother
  2226. with.
  2227. She had lost all appetite. The very smell of supper made her
  2228. nauseous-beans heavy with pork fat and brown injun bread with orange
  2229. cheese, fried potatoes, of course, and flapjacks with apple sauce, baked
  2230. Indian pudding with cream and plum cake for dessert. Lyddie nibbled at
  2231. the brown bread and washed it down with a little scalding tea. How could
  2232. the others eat so heartily and with such a clatter of dishes and shrieks
  2233. of conversation? She longed only to get to the room, take off her boots,
  2234. massage her abused feet, and lay down her aching head. While the other
  2235. girls pulled their chairs from the table and scraped them about to form
  2236. little circles in the parlor area, Lyddie dragged herself from the table
  2237. and up the stairs.
  2238. Betsy was already there before her, her current novel in her hand. She
  2239. laughed at the sight of Lyddie. "The first full day! And up to now you
  2240. thought yourself a strapping country farm girl who could do anything,
  2241. didn't you?"
  2242. Lyddie did not try to answer back. She simply sank to her side of the
  2243. double bed and took off the offending shoes and began to rub her
  2244. swollen' feet.
  2245. "If you've got an older pair"-Betsy's voice was almost gentle--"more
  2246. stretched and softer . . ."
  2247. Lyddie nodded. Tomorrow she'd wear Triphena's without the stuffing. They
  2248. were still stiff from the trip and she'd be awkward rushing back and
  2249. forth to meals, but at least there'd be room for her feet to swell.
  2250. She undressed, slipped on her shabby night shift, and slid under the
  2251. quilt. Betsy glanced over at-her. "To bed so soon?"
  2252. Lyddie could only nod again. It was as though she could not possibly
  2253. squeeze a word through her lips. Betsy smiled again. She ain't laughing
  2254. at me, Lyddie realized. She's remembering how it was.
  2255. "Shall I read to you?" Betsy asked.
  2256. Lyddie nodded gratefully and closed her eyes and turned her back against
  2257. the candlelight.
  2258. Betsy did not give any explanation of the novel she was reading, simply
  2259. commenced to read aloud where she had broken off reading to herself.
  2260. Even though Lyddie's head was still choked with lint and battered with
  2261. noise, she struggled to get the sense of the story.
  2262. The child was in some kind of poorhouse, it seemed, and he was hungry.
  2263. Lyddie knew about hungry children. Rachel, Agnes, Charlie-they had all
  2264. been hungry that winter of the bear. The hungry little boy in the story
  2265. had held up his bowl to the poorhouse overseer and said:
  2266. "Please sir, I want some more."
  2267. And for this the overseer-she could see his little rosebud mouth rounded
  2268. in horror-for this the overseer had screamed out at the child. In her
  2269. mind's eye little Oliver Twist looked exactly like a younger Charlie.
  2270. The cruel overseer had screamed and hauled the boy before a sort of
  2271. agent. And for what crime? For the monstrous crime of wanting more to
  2272. eat.
  2273. "That boy will be hung," the agent had prophesied. "I know that boy will
  2274. be hung."
  2275. She fought sleep, ravenous for every word. She had not had any appetite
  2276. for the bountiful meal downstairs, but now she was feeling a hunger she
  2277. knew nothing about. She had to know what would happen to little Oliver.
  2278. Would he indeed be hanged just because he wanted more gruel?
  2279. She opened her eyes and turned to watch Betsy, who was absorbed in her
  2280. reading. Then Betsy sensed her watching, and looked up from the book.
  2281. "It's a marvelous story, isn't it? I saw the author once-Mr. Charles
  2282. Dickens. He visited our factory. Let me see-I was already in the
  2283. spinning room-it must have been in--"
  2284. But Lyddie cared nothing for authors or dates. "Don't stop reading the
  2285. story, please," she croaked out.
  2286. "Never fear, little Lyddie. No more interruptions," Betsy promised, and
  2287. read on, though her voice grew raspy with fatigue, until the bell rang
  2288. for curfew. She stuck a hair ribbon in the place. "Till tomorrow night,"
  2289. she whispered as the feet of an army of girls could be heard thundering
  2290. up the staircase.
  2291. Chapter 11: The Admirable Choice
  2292. The next day in the mill, the noise was just as jarring and her feet in
  2293. Triphena's old boots swelled just as large, but now and again she caught
  2294. herself humming. Why am I suddenly happy? What wonderful thing is about
  2295. to happen to me? And then she remembered. Tonight after supper, Betsy
  2296. would read to her again. She was, of course, afraid for Oliver, who was
  2297. all mixed up in her mind with Charlie. But there was a delicious
  2298. anticipation, like molded sugar on her tongue. She had to know what
  2299. would happen to him, how his story would unfold.
  2300. Diana noticed the change. "You're settling in faster than I thought,"
  2301. she said. But Lyddie didn't tell her. She didn't quite know how to
  2302. explain to anyone, that it wasn't so much that she had gotten used to
  2303. the mill, but she had found a way to escape its grasp. The pasted sheets
  2304. of poetry or Scripture in the window frames, the geraniums on the sill,
  2305. those must be some other girl's way, she decided. But hers was a story.
  2306. As the days melted into weeks, she tried not to think how very kind it
  2307. was of Betsy to keep reading to her. There were nights, of course, when
  2308. she could not, when there was shopping or washing that had to be done.
  2309. On Saturday evenings they were let out two hours early and Amelia
  2310. corralled Lyddie and Prudence for long walks along the river before it
  2311. grew too dark. Betsy, of course, did whatever she liked regardless of
  2312. Amelia. Sundays Amelia dragged the reluctant Lyddie to church. At first
  2313. Lyddie had been afraid Betsy would go on reading without her, but Betsy
  2314. waited until Sunday afternoon, when Amelia and Prudence were down in the
  2315. dining room writing their weekly letters home, and she picked up the
  2316. story just where she had stopped on the previous Friday evening.
  2317. It was several weeks before Lyddie caught on that the novel was from the
  2318. lending library and thus cost Betsy five cents a week to borrow. On her
  2319. own, Betsy could have read it much faster, Lyddie was sure of that. As
  2320. much as she hated to spend the money, on her first payday, Lyddie
  2321. insisted on giving Betsy a full ten cents to help with /Oliver's/ rent.
  2322. Betsy laughed, but she took it. She, too, was saving her money, she
  2323. confessed quietly to Lyddie and asked her not to tell, to go for an
  2324. education. There was a college out West in Ohio that took female
  2325. students-a real college, not a young ladies' seminary. "But don't tell
  2326. Amelia," she said, her voice returning to its usual ironic tone, "she'd
  2327. think it unladylike to want to go to Oberlin."
  2328. It seemed strange to Lyddie that Betsy should care at all what Amelia
  2329. thought. But Lyddie, who had never had any ambition to be thought a
  2330. lady, did find herself asking, What would Amelia think?-and censoring
  2331. her own behavior from time to time accordingly.
  2332. Then, all too soon, the book was done. It seemed to have flown by, and
  2333. there was so much, especially at the beginning- when Lyddie was too
  2334. tired and, try as she might, could not listen properly-so much at the
  2335. beginning that she needed to hear again. Actually, she needed to hear
  2336. the whole book again, even the terrible parts, dear Nancy's killing and
  2337. the death of Sikes.
  2338. She wished she dared to ask Betsy to read more, but she could not. Betsy
  2339. had given her hours and hours of time and voice. And besides, with July
  2340. nearly upon them, the three roommates were making plans for going home.
  2341. The very word was like a blow to her chest. Home. If only she could go.
  2342. But she had signed with the corporation for a full year of work. If she
  2343. left, even just to see the cabin and visit for an hour or so with
  2344. Charlie, she would lose her position. "And if you leave without an
  2345. honorable discharge," the clerk had said, "not only will you never work
  2346. at the Concord Corporation again, but no other mill in Lowell will ever
  2347. engage you." Blacklisted! The word sent chills down her backbone.
  2348. So she watched her roommates pack their trunks and listened as they
  2349. chattered about whom they would see and what they would do, and tried
  2350. not to mind. Amelia would go to New Hampshire where her clergyman father
  2351. had a country church. Her mother would welcome her help around the manse
  2352. and with the tutoring of the farm children in the parish Sunday School.
  2353. Prudence was bound for the family farm near Rutland, where, Amelia
  2354. hinted, a suitor on a neighboring farm was primed to snatch her away
  2355. from factory life forever. Betsys parents were dead, but there was an
  2356. uncle in Maine who was always glad for her to come and help with the
  2357. cooking. Haying season would soon be here, and there would be many
  2358. mouths to feed. There was a chance, as well, Betsy said, of seeing her
  2359. brother. But again, he might be too pressed with invitations from his
  2360. university mates to find time for a visit with a sister who was only an
  2361. old spinster and a factory girl to boot.
  2362. After they are gone, I will be earning and saving, Lyddie said to
  2363. comfort herself. I may earn even more. If the weaving room is short of
  2364. workers, Mr. Marsden may assign me another loom. Then I could turn out
  2365. many more pieces each week. For she was proficient now. Weeks before
  2366. she had begun tending her own loom without Diana's help.
  2367. She hadn't imagined that Diana would go on holiday as well, but when
  2368. Diana told her she was going, she felt a little thrill. Mr. Marsden was
  2369. sure to give her charge of at least two looms, perhaps a third. She
  2370. didn't want Diana to think she was rejoicing in her absence, but she was
  2371. not skilled at feigning feelings she did not own. "I'll miss you," she
  2372. said.
  2373. Diana laughed at her. "Oh, you'll be glad enough to see me gone," she
  2374. said. "There'll be three looms for you to tend, a nice fat raise to your
  2375. wages for these several weeks." Lyddie blushed. "You needn't feel bad.
  2376. Enjoy the money. I think you'll find you've earned every penny. It's hot
  2377. as Hades up here in July."
  2378. "But where will you be going?" Lyddie asked, trying to shift attention
  2379. from herself. She quickly repented, remembering too late that Diana had
  2380. no family waiting to see her.
  2381. "It's all right," Diana said in reply to Lyddie's pained look. "I was
  2382. orphaned young. I'm used to it. I suppose this mill is as much home as I
  2383. can claim. I started here as a doffer when I was ten. So I've fifteen
  2384. years here. But only a scant handful of Julys."
  2385. Lyddie wanted to ask, then, if she had no home to go to, where she was
  2386. headed, but it wasn't rightly her business, and Diana didn't offer the
  2387. information except to say when the noise of the machines insured that no
  2388. one could overhear, "There'll be a mass meeting at Woburn on
  2389. Independence Day." When Lyddie looked puzzled, she went on, "Of the
  2390. movement. The ten-hour movement. Miss Bagley will speak, as well as some
  2391. of the men." When Lyddie still said nothing, she continued, "There'll be
  2392. a picnic lunch, a real Fourth of July celebration. How about it? I
  2393. promise no one will make you sign your name to anything."
  2394. Lyddie pressed her lips together and shook her head. "No," she said. "I
  2395. expect I'll be busy."
  2396. July was hot, as Diana had so inelegantly predicted. Reluctantly,
  2397. Lyddie spent a dollar on a light summer work dress as her spring calico
  2398. proved unbearable. Her other expenditure was at the lending library,
  2399. where she borrowed /Oliver Twist./
  2400. This time she would read it on her own. It didn't occur to her that she
  2401. was teaching herself as she laboriously chopped apart the words that had
  2402. rolled like rainwater off Betsy's tongue. She was so hungry to hear the
  2403. story again that, exhausted as she was after her thirteen hours in the
  2404. weaving room, she lay sweating across her bed mouthing in whispers the
  2405. sounds of Mr. Dickens's narrative.
  2406. She was grateful to be alone in the room. There was no one there to make
  2407. fun of her efforts, or even to try to help. She didn't want help. She
  2408. didn't want to share this reading with anyone. She was determined to
  2409. learn the book so well that she would be able to read it aloud to
  2410. Charlie someday. And wouldn't he be surprised? His Lyddie a real
  2411. scholar? He'd be monstrous proud.
  2412. During the day at the looms, she went over in her head the bits of the
  2413. story that she had puzzled out the night before. Then it occurred to
  2414. her that she could copy out pages and paste them up and practice reading
  2415. them whenever she had a pause. There were not a lot of pauses when she
  2416. had three machines to tend, so she pasted the copied page on the frame
  2417. of one of the looms where she could snatch a glance at it as she worked.
  2418. July was halfway gone when she made her momentous decision. One fair
  2419. evening as soon as supper was done, she dressed in her calico, which was
  2420. nicer than her light summer cotton, put on her bonnet and good boots,
  2421. and went out on the street. She was trembling when she got to the door
  2422. of the shop, but she pushed it open. A little bell rang as she did so,
  2423. and a gentleman who was seated on a high stool behind a slanting desktop
  2424. looked up at her over his spectacles. "How may I help you, miss?" he
  2425. asked politely.
  2426. She tried to control the shaking in her voice, but in the end was unable
  2427. to. "I-I come to purchase the book," she said.
  2428. The gentleman slid off his stool and waited for her to continue. But
  2429. Lyddie had already made her rehearsed speech. She didn't have any more
  2430. words prepared. Finally, he leaned toward her and said in the kindliest
  2431. sort of voice, "What book did you have in mind, my dear?"
  2432. How stupid she must seem to him! The shop was nothing but shelves and
  2433. shelves of books, hundreds, perhaps thousands of books. "Uh-uh /Oliver
  2434. Twist/, if you please, sir," she managed to stammer out.
  2435. "Ah," he said. "Mr. Dickens. An admirable choice."
  2436. He showed her several editions, some rudely printed on cheap paper with
  2437. only paper backing, but there was only one she wanted. It was
  2438. beautifully bound in leather with gold letters stamped on its spine.
  2439. It would take all her money, she knew. Maybe it would be more than she
  2440. had. She looked fearfully at the kind clerk.
  2441. "That will be two dollars," he said. "Shall I wrap it for you?"
  2442. She handed him two silver dollars from her purse. "Yes," she said,
  2443. sighing with relief, "Yes, thank you, sir." And clutching her
  2444. treasure, she ran from the shop and would have run all the way back to
  2445. the boardinghouse except that she realized that people on the street
  2446. were turning to stare.
  2447. The Sundays of July were too precious to think of going to church. She
  2448. didn't even go to the big Sunday School Union picnic on the Fourth,
  2449. though the sound of the fireworks sent her running from her room to the
  2450. kitchen. There was no one at home to explain the fearsome racket, but
  2451. she satisfied herself that the iron cook stove had not blown up, and
  2452. returned to her sweltering bedroom to continue reading and copying. Mrs.
  2453. Bedlow gave a general reminder at breakfast on the third Sabbath that
  2454. many of her boarders were neglecting divine worship, and that the
  2455. corporation would be most vexed if attendance did not soon improve among
  2456. the inhabitants of Number Five.
  2457. Lyddie slipped a copied page of her book into her pocket and managed to
  2458. read through the long Methodist sermon. In this way, she only lost a
  2459. little study time during the two-hour service. She was startled once
  2460. into attention during the Scripture reading. "Why do you, a Jew, ask
  2461. water of me a Samaritan?" the woman asked Jesus in the Gospel story.
  2462. Jesus a Jew? Just like the wicked Fagin? No one had ever told her that
  2463. Jesus was a Jew before. Just like Fagin, and yet not like Fagin at all.
  2464. Lyddie studied on it as she walked home after the service. "Will you
  2465. watch where you're going, please." She had walked straight into a stout
  2466. woman in her Sunday best. Lyddie murmured an apology, but the woman
  2467. humphed angrily and re-adjusted her bonnet, mumbling something under
  2468. her breath that ended in "factory girls."
  2469. The sidewalk was too crowded for daydreaming. Lyddie packed her
  2470. wonderings away in her head to think about some other time and began to
  2471. watch where she was going.
  2472. It was then that she saw Diana, or thought she did. At any rate she saw
  2473. a couple, a handsome, bearded gentleman with a well-dressed lady on his
  2474. arm, walking toward her on the opposite side of Merrimack Street. The
  2475. woman was Diana, Lyddie was sure of it. Without thinking, Lyddie called
  2476. out to her.
  2477. But the woman turned her head away. Perhaps she was embarrassed to have
  2478. a girl yelling rudely at her across a public thoroughfare. Then several
  2479. carriages and a cart rolled past them, and before Lyddie could see them
  2480. again, the man and woman had disappeared into the crowd of Sunday
  2481. strollers. She must have been mistaken. Diana would have recognized her
  2482. and come across to speak.
  2483. Chapter 12: I Will Not Be a Slave
  2484. She was good at her work-fast, nimble-fingered, diligent, and even in
  2485. the nearly unbearable heat of the weaving room, apparently
  2486. indefatigable. The overseer noticed from his high corner stool. Lyddie
  2487. saw him watching, and she could tell by the smile on his little round
  2488. lips that he was pleased with her. One afternoon a pair of foreign
  2489. dignitaries toured the mill, and Mr. Marsden brought them over to watch
  2490. Lyddie work. She tried to smile politely, but she felt like a prize sow
  2491. at a village auction.
  2492. They didn't pause long. One of them spent the whole time mopping his
  2493. face and neck and muttering foreign phrases which Lyddie was sure had to
  2494. do with the temperature rather than the marvels of the Concord
  2495. Corporation. The other stood by blinking the perspiration from his eyes,
  2496. looking as though he might faint at any moment. "One of our best girls,"
  2497. Mr. Marsden said, beaming. "One of our very best."
  2498. The pay reflected her proficiency. She was making almost $2.50 a week
  2499. above her $1.75 board. While the other girls grumbled that their piece
  2500. rates had dropped so that it had hardly been worth slaving through the
  2501. summer heat, she kept her silence. With Diana gone, she had no friends
  2502. in the weaving room. She worked too hard to waste precious time getting
  2503. a drink at the water bucket or running out to the staircase to snatch a
  2504. breath of air. Besides, her /Oliver/ was pasted up, and any free moment
  2505. her eyes went to the text. She read and reread the page for the day
  2506. until she nearly had the words by heart.
  2507. In this way, she found that even the words that had seemed impossible to
  2508. decipher on first reading began to make sense as she discovered their
  2509. place in the story. The names, though peculiar, were the easiest because
  2510. she remembered them well from Betsy's reading. She liked the names-Mr.
  2511. Bumble, a villain, but, like her bear, a clumsy one. You had to laugh at
  2512. his attempts to be somebody in a world that obviously despised him.
  2513. Bill Sikes-a name like a rapier--a real villain with nothing to dilute
  2514. the evil of him, not even Nancy's love. She did not ask herself how a
  2515. woman could stay with a man like Sikes. Even in her short life she had
  2516. known of women who clung to fearsome husbands.
  2517. Fagin she understood a bit. If the world despised you so much, you were
  2518. apt to seek revenge on it. The boy thieves- what choice did they have
  2519. with no homes or families-only workhouses that pretended Christian
  2520. charity and dealt out despair?
  2521. She knew with a shudder how close the family had come to being on the
  2522. mercy of the town that winter her mother had fled with the babies. Was
  2523. it to save them from the poor farm that she had gone? Lyddie had not
  2524. thought of it that way before. Her mother might have realized that she
  2525. and Charlie on their own were stout enough to manage, but with the extra
  2526. burden of their mother and the babies . . . Had their mother really
  2527. thought the bear was the devil on earth? Had she really thought the end
  2528. was near? Lyddie wondered if she'd ever know the truth of that, anymore
  2529. than she would ever know what had become of their father.
  2530. A letter came to Number Five in her mother's handwriting.
  2531. Lyddie felt a pang as she ran to fetch the coins to reimburse Mrs.
  2532. Bedlow for the postage. She hadn't yet sent any money to her mother.
  2533. She'd been meaning to. She even had a few dollars set aside for the
  2534. purpose, but her head had been tied up in other things-her work, the
  2535. boardinghouse, the dream world of a book-and she had neglected the poor
  2536. who were her own flesh.
  2537. She wanted not to have to open the letter. She wanted the letter never
  2538. to have arrived, but there it was, and it had to be faced.
  2539. Dear Datter,
  2540. I was exceding surpriz to get your letter consern yr mov to Lowell. I do
  2541. not no to say. if you can send muny it will be help to Judah and
  2542. Clarissa. They fel a grate burdun. Babby Agnes is gone to God. Rachel
  2543. is porely. Miny hav died, but Gods will be dun.
  2544. Yr. loving mother,
  2545. Mattie M. Worthen
  2546. She tried to remember Agnes's little face. She strained, squenching her
  2547. eyes tight to get a picture of her sister, now gone forever. She was a
  2548. baby. She couldn't have been more than four the winter of the bear, but
  2549. that was now nearly two years past. She would have changed. Maybe she
  2550. didn't even remember me, Lyddie thought. Could she have forgotten me and
  2551. Charlie? Me, Lyddie, who washed and fed her and dear Charlie who made
  2552. her laugh? She wanted to cry but no tears came, only a hard, dry knot in
  2553. the place where her heart should have been.
  2554. She must work harder. She must earn all the money to pay what they owed,
  2555. so she could gather her family together back on the farm while she still
  2556. had family left to gather. The idea of living alone and orphaned and
  2557. without brother or sister-a life barren of land and family like
  2558. Diana's . . .
  2559. So it was that when the Concord Corporation once again speeded up the
  2560. machinery, she, almost alone, did not complain. She only had two looms
  2561. to tend instead of the four she'd tended during the summer. She needed
  2562. the money. She had to have the money. Some of the girls had no sooner
  2563. come back from their summer holidays than they went home again. They
  2564. could not keep up the pace. Lyddie was given another loom and then
  2565. another, and even at the increased speed of each loom, she could tend
  2566. all four and felt a satisfying disdain for those who could not do the
  2567. work.
  2568. Prudence was the first of the roommates to go home for good. The suitor
  2569. in Rutland was urging her to give up factory life, but there was a more
  2570. compelling reason for her to return. She had begun coughing, a dry,
  2571. painful cough through the night that kept both Betsy and Amelia awake,
  2572. though not Lyddie. She slept like a caterpillar in winter. Indeed, she
  2573. was cocooned from all the rest. Betsy had not offered to read another
  2574. novel to Lyddie since the summer. She and several other operatives had
  2575. formed study groups, one in Latin and another in botany. On Tuesday and
  2576. Thursday evenings they commandeered half the parlor of Number Five and
  2577. hired their own teacher. When Betsy wasn't downstairs with her group,
  2578. she was in the room preparing for her next session. "Would you like me
  2579. to read the text to you?" she asked Lyddie once, taking her nose out
  2580. from between the pages of her botany book.
  2581. Lyddie smiled and shook her head. She knew about plants and flowers, at
  2582. least as much as she craved to know. She didn't know enough about Oliver
  2583. Twist.
  2584. With Prudence gone and the parlor congested, Amelia was often in the
  2585. room. She insisted on talking, though Betsy, when there, ignored her and
  2586. Lyddie tried hard to.
  2587. "The two of you should be exercising your bodies instead of holing up in
  2588. this stuffy room reading," Amelia said.
  2589. No answer.
  2590. "Or at the least, stretching your souls."
  2591. No reply, though both Lyddie and Betsy knew that Amelia was reminding
  2592. them that it was the Sabbath and neither of them had gone to services
  2593. earlier.
  2594. "What are you reading, Lyddie?"
  2595. Maybe if I pretend not to hear, she'll leave me be.
  2596. "Lyddie!" This time she spoke so sharply that Lyddie looked up,
  2597. startled. "Get your nose out of that book and come take a walk with me.
  2598. We won't have many more lovely Sunday afternoons like this. It will be
  2599. getting cold soon."
  2600. "I'm busy," Lyddie mumbled.
  2601. Amelia came closer. "You've been reading that same book for months." She
  2602. reached over and took /Oliver Twist/ out of Lyddie's hands.
  2603. "That's my book, ey!"
  2604. "Come on, Lyddie. Just a short walk by the river before supper. It will
  2605. do you good."
  2606. "Will you get her out of here before I gag her with my bonnet ribbons
  2607. and lash her to the bedpost?" Betsy said tightly, never taking her eyes
  2608. off her own book.
  2609. "She can walk by herself. I got to read my book." Lyddie stretched her
  2610. hand to take the book back, but Amelia held it up just out of reach.
  2611. "Oh, come," she said. "You've already read this book. I've seen you, and
  2612. besides, it's only a silly novel-not fit for reading, and a sin on the
  2613. Sabbath-"
  2614. Lyddie could feel the gorge rising in her throat. Silly novel? It was
  2615. life and death. "You ain't read it," she said, forgetting her grammar in
  2616. her anger. "How can you know?"
  2617. Amelia flushed and her eyes blinked rapidly. She was no longer teasing.
  2618. "I know about novels," she said, her voice high and a little shaky.
  2619. "They are the devil's instrument to draw impressionable young minds to
  2620. perdition."
  2621. Lyddie stared at Amelia with her mouth wide open.
  2622. It was Betsy who spoke. "For pity's sake, Amelia. Where did you ever
  2623. hear such pompous nonsense?"
  2624. Amelia's face grew redder. "You are unbelievers and scoffers, and I
  2625. don't see how I can continue to live in the same room with you."
  2626. "Oh, hush." Betsy's tones were gentler than her words. "We do you no
  2627. harm. Can't we just live and let live?"
  2628. Amelia began to cry. Her chiseled marble features crumbled into the
  2629. angry, helpless rage of a child. As Lyddie watched, she could feel the
  2630. hardness inside herself breaking, like jagged cracks across granite.
  2631. She got a clean handkerchief from her own box and handed it to the older
  2632. girl. "Here," she said.
  2633. Amelia glanced quickly at the hanky-making sure it was a clean one,
  2634. Lyddie thought wryly-but she murmured a thank you and blew her nose. "I
  2635. don't know what possessed me," she said, more in her old tone.
  2636. "We're all working like black slaves, is what," said Betsy. "I've half
  2637. a mind to sign the blooming petition."
  2638. "Oh Betsy, you wouldn't!" Amelia lifted her nose out of the
  2639. handkerchief, her eyes wide.
  2640. "Wouldn't I just? When I started in the spinning room, I could do a
  2641. thirteen-hour day and to spare. But in those days I had a hundred thirty
  2642. spindles to tend. Now I've twice that many at a speed that would make
  2643. the devil curse. I'm worn out, Amelia. We're all worn out."
  2644. "But we'd be paid less." Couldn't Betsy understand that? "If we just
  2645. work ten hours, we'd be paid much less."
  2646. "Time is more precious than money, Lyddie girl. If only I had two more
  2647. free hours of an evening-what I couldn't do."
  2648. "Should you sign the petition, Betsy, they'll dismiss you. I know they
  2649. will." Amelia folded the handkerchief and handed it back to Lyddie with
  2650. a nod.
  2651. "And would you miss me, Amelia? I thought you'd consider it good
  2652. riddance. I thought I was the blister on your heel these last four
  2653. years."
  2654. "I'm thinking of you. What will you do with no job? You'd be
  2655. blacklisted. No other corporation would hire you."
  2656. "Oh," said Betsy, "maybe I'd just take off West. I've nearly the money."
  2657. She smiled slyly at Lyddie. "I'm thinking of going out to Ohio."
  2658. "Ohio?"
  2659. "Hurrah!" Betsy cried out. "That's it! I wait till I've got all the
  2660. money I need, sign the petition, and exit this city of spindles in a
  2661. veritable fireworks of defiance."
  2662. "No!" Lyddie was startled herself that she had spoken so sharply. Both
  2663. girls looked at her. "I mean, please, don't sign. I can't. I got to
  2664. have the money. I got to pay the debts before-"
  2665. "Oh Lyddie, hasn't your friend Diana explained it all to you? We're
  2666. working longer hours, tending more machines, all of which have been
  2667. speeded to demon pace, so the corporation can make a packet of money.
  2668. Our real wages have gone down more often than they've gone up. Merciful
  2669. heaven! Why waste our time on a paper petition? Why not a good
  2670. old-fashioned turnout?" Betsy put her botany book on the counterpane
  2671. face down to save the place, hugged her knees, and began to sing in a
  2672. high childlike soprano:
  2673. "Oh! Isn't it a pity such a pretty girl as I
  2674. Should be sent to the factory to pine away and
  2675. die?
  2676. Oh! I cannot be a slave,
  2677. I will not be a slave,
  2678. For I'm so fond of liberty
  2679. That I cannot be a slave."
  2680. "I ain't a slave!" said Lyddie fiercely. "I ain't a slave."
  2681. "Of course you aren't." Amelia's confidence had returned and with it her
  2682. schoolmarm manner.
  2683. "At the inn I worked sometimes fifteen, sixteen hours a day and they
  2684. paid my mother fifty cents a week, if they remembered. Here-"
  2685. "Oh shush, girl. Nobody's calling you a slave. I was just singing the
  2686. old song."
  2687. "How do you know that radical song?" Amelia asked.
  2688. "I was a doffer back in '36. At ten you learn all the songs."
  2689. "And did you join the turnout?" Now Amelia looked like a schoolmarm who
  2690. had caught a child in mischief.
  2691. Betsy's eyes blazed. "At ten? I led out my whole floor- running all the
  2692. way. It was the most exciting day of my life!"
  2693. "It does no good to rebel against authority."
  2694. "Well, it does me good. I'm sick of being a sniveling wage slave." Betsy
  2695. picked up her botany book again as though closing the discussion.
  2696. "I mean it's . . . it's unladylike and . . . and against the
  2697. Scriptures." Amelia's voice was shaking as she spoke.
  2698. "Against the Bible to fight injustice? Oh, come now, Amelia. I think
  2699. you've got the wrong book at that church of yours."
  2700. Lyddie looked from one angry face to the other. She cared nothing for
  2701. being a lady or being religious. She was making far more money than she
  2702. ever had at home in Vermont or was ever likely to. Why couldn't people
  2703. just live and let live?
  2704. The clang of the curfew bell quieted the argument but not Lyddie's
  2705. anxiety.
  2706. Chapter 13: Speedup
  2707. Lyddie could not keep the silly song out of her head. It clacked and
  2708. whistled along with the machinery.
  2709. Oh! I cannot be a slave,
  2710. I will not be a slave . . .
  2711. She /wasn't/ a slave. She was a free woman of the state of Vermont,
  2712. earning her own way in the world. Whatever Diana, or even Betsy, might
  2713. think, she, Lyddie, was far less a slave than most any girl she knew of.
  2714. They mustn't spoil it for her with their petitions and turnouts. They
  2715. mustn't meddle with the system and bring it all clanging down to ruin.
  2716. She liked Diana, really she did, yet she found herself avoiding her
  2717. friend as though radicalism were something catching, like diptheria. She
  2718. knew Mr. Marsden was beginning to keep track of the girls who stopped by
  2719. Diana's looms. She could see him watching and taking mental note.
  2720. When Diana came her way, Lyddie could feel herself stiffening up. And
  2721. when Diana invited her to one of the Tuesday night meetings, Lyddie said
  2722. /"No!"/ so fiercely that she scared herself. Diana didn't ask again. It
  2723. ain't about you, Lyddie wanted to say. It's me. I just want to go home.
  2724. Please understand, Diana, it ain't about you.
  2725. The ten-hour people were putting out a weekly newspaper, The Voice of
  2726. Industry. Lyddie tried to keep her eyes from straying toward the copies
  2727. of the weekly, which were thrown with seeming carelessness on the parlor
  2728. table. Then one night after supper she and Amelia came upstairs to find
  2729. Betsy chortling over, the paper in their bedroom.
  2730. "Here!" she said, holding it out to Lyddie. "Read this! Those plucky
  2731. women are going after the legislature now!"
  2732. Lyddie recoiled as though someone had offered her the hot end of a
  2733. poker.
  2734. "Oh Lyddie," Betsy said. "Don't be afraid to read something you might
  2735. not agree with."
  2736. "Leave Lyddie alone, Betsy. You'll only get her into trouble."
  2737. "Never fret, Amelia. Our Lyddie loves money too much to risk trouble."
  2738. Lyddie flushed furiously. She /was/ worried about the money, but she
  2739. wished Betsy wouldn't put it like that. She wanted to explain to them-to
  2740. justify herself. Maybe if she told them about the bear-about how close
  2741. her family'd come to moving to the poor farm. Maybe if she told them
  2742. about Charlie-how bright he was and how she knew he could do as good at
  2743. college as Betsy's stuckup brother. Only Charlie wasn't at Harvard. He
  2744. was sweeping chaff off a mill floor. And little Agnes had gone to God.
  2745. She shuddered and held her peace. It might sound like cowardly excuses
  2746. when the words were formed. But it didn't matter if they understood or
  2747. not. As much as she admired Diana, she wouldn't be tricked by her, or
  2748. even by Betsy, to joining any protest. Just another year or two and she
  2749. could go home-home free. I got to write Mama, she thought. I got to
  2750. tell her how hard I'm working to pay off the debt.
  2751. Dear Mother,
  2752. I was made quite sad by your letter telling of my sister Agnes's death.
  2753. I am consern that you are not taking proper care of your health. I have
  2754. enclose one dollar. Please get yourself and little Rachel good food and
  2755. if possible a warm shawl for the winter. I will send more next payday. I
  2756. try to save for the debt, but you must tell me how much it is exakly.
  2757. And do I send it direct to Mr. Wescott or to some bank? I am well. I
  2758. work hard.
  2759. Your loving daughter,
  2760. Lydia Worthen
  2761. She checked her spelling in /Oliver./ The grammar as well. She felt a
  2762. little thrill of pride. She knew she was improving in her writing. Not
  2763. that her mother would be able to tell, but Charlie would. She took a
  2764. second sheet to begin a letter to him, then hesitated, suddenly shy. It
  2765. had been so long. She hardly knew what to say. I must go to see him soon
  2766. as my year is up, she thought. I'll lose touch. Or-he'll forget me. She
  2767. jerked her head to loosen the thought. Charlie would no more forget her
  2768. than the snow would forget to fall on Camel's Hump Mountain. But she
  2769. should write. He might think she had forgotten him.
  2770. Dear Charlie,
  2771. No, "Dear Charles." (He was nearly a man now and might not like a pet
  2772. name.)
  2773. Dear Charles,
  2774. She held the pen so tight her fingers cramped.
  2775. I have heard from Mother that little Agnes has died. Did she write you
  2776. as well this sad news? We must get Mother and Rachel home soon. I am
  2777. saving most of my wages for the debt. I am working hard and making good
  2778. pay. We can go home soon I stil hop. (ha ha). I trust you are well.
  2779. I am as ever your loving sister,
  2780. Lydia Worthen
  2781. A great blob of ink fell from the pen right at her name. She blotted it,
  2782. but the black spread up into the body of the letter. She tried to tell
  2783. herself that it didn't matter-that Charlie would not be bothered, but
  2784. she was too bothered by it herself. She'd meant the letter to show him
  2785. how well she was doing-how she was learning and studying as well as
  2786. working, but the black stain ruined it. She destroyed the page and could
  2787. not seem to start another.
  2788. No matter how fast the machines speeded up, Lyddie was somehow able to
  2789. keep pace. She never wasted energy worrying or complaining. It was
  2790. almost as if they had exchanged natures, as though she had become the
  2791. machine, perfectly tuned to the roaring, clattering beasts in her care.
  2792. Think of them as bears she'd tell herself. Great, clumsy bears. You can
  2793. face down bears.
  2794. From his high stool at the back corner of the great room, she could
  2795. almost feel the eyes of the overseer upon her. Indeed, when Mr. Marsden
  2796. got up to stroll the room he always stopped at her looms. She was often
  2797. startled by the touch of his puffy white hand upon her sleeve, and when
  2798. she turned, his little mouth would be forming something she took to be
  2799. complimentary, for his eyes were crinkled as though the skin about
  2800. them had cracked in the attempt to smile.
  2801. She would nod acknowledgment and turn back to her machines, which at
  2802. least did not reach out and pat you when you weren't watching.
  2803. He was a strange little man. Lyddie tried once to imagine him dressing
  2804. in the morning. His impeccable wife tying that impeccable tie, brushing
  2805. down that black coat, which by six a.m. would be white with the lint
  2806. blowing about the gigantic room. Did she polish his head as well? And
  2807. with what? You couldn't use shoeblack of course. Was there a head grease
  2808. that could be applied and then rubbed to a high shine? She saw the
  2809. overseer's impeccable wife with the end of a towel in either hand
  2810. briskly polishing her husband's head, just above the ears, then
  2811. carefully combing back the few strands of grayish hair from one ear to
  2812. the other. It was hard to put a face on the overseer's wife. Was she a
  2813. meek, obedient little woman, or someone like Mrs. Cutler, who would rule
  2814. him as he ruled the girls under his watchful eye? Not a happy woman,
  2815. though, for Mr. Marsden did not seem to be the stuff from which
  2816. contentment could be woven.
  2817. Soon there was little time to wonder and daydream. She had done so well
  2818. on her two, then three, machines that Mr. Marsden gave her a fourth
  2819. loom to tend. Now she hardly noticed people anymore. At mealtimes the
  2820. noise and complaints and banter of the other girls were like the
  2821. commotion of a distant parade. She paid no attention that the food was
  2822. not as bountiful as it had once been. There was still more than she
  2823. could eat. Nor did she notice that the taste of the meat was a bit off
  2824. or the potatoes moldy. She ate the food set before her steadily, with no
  2825. attempt to bolt as much as possible in the short time allotted. When the
  2826. bell rang, it didn't matter what was left untasted, she simply pushed
  2827. back from the table and went back to her bears.
  2828. She was too tired now at night to copy out a page of /Oliver/ to paste
  2829. to her loom. It hardly mattered. When would she have had time to study
  2830. it? After supper she stumbled upstairs, hardly taking time to wash,
  2831. changed to her shift, and fell into bed.
  2832. Though Amelia cajoled and Mrs. Bedlow made announcements at mealtime,
  2833. Lyddie did not attempt to go to church. Her body wouldn't have
  2834. cooperated even if she'd had the desire to go. She slept out Sunday
  2835. mornings and forced herself up for dinner, which she ate, as she ate all
  2836. her meals now, automatically and without conversation. She was as
  2837. likely to nap again in the afternoon as not.
  2838. "It's like being a racehorse," Betsy was saying. "The harder we work,
  2839. the bigger prize they get."
  2840. Amelia murmured something in reply, which Lyddie was too near sleep to
  2841. make out.
  2842. "I've made up my mind to sign the next petition."
  2843. "You wouldn't!"
  2844. "Wouldn't I just?" Betsy laughed. "The golden lad finishes Harvard this
  2845. spring. His fees are paid up, and I've got nearly the money I need now.
  2846. My Latin is done. So as soon as I complete my botany course, I'll be
  2847. ready to leave this insane asylum."
  2848. Even Lyddie's sleep-drugged mind could feel a twinge. She did not want
  2849. Betsy to go.
  2850. "It would be grand-going out with the bang of a dishonorable
  2851. dismissal."
  2852. "But where would you go? You've always said you could never settle in
  2853. Maine."
  2854. "Not to Maine, Amelia. To Ohio. I'm aiming to go to college."
  2855. "To college?"
  2856. "Do I surprise you, Amelia? Betsy, in public the devourer of novels, in
  2857. secret a woman of great ambition?"
  2858. "College. I wouldn't have imagined-"
  2859. "If they dismiss me, I'd have to stop stalling and blathering and get
  2860. myself to Oberlin College and a new life." By now, Lyddie was propped up
  2861. on her elbow listening, torn between pride for Betsy and horror at what
  2862. she was proposing. "So, you're awake after all, our sleeping beauty."
  2863. "Lyddie, tell her not to be foolish."
  2864. "I'd hate you to leave," Lyddie said quietly.
  2865. Betsy snorted. "I'd be gone a month and a half before you'd ever
  2866. notice," she said.
  2867. The overseers were being offered premiums-prizes to the men whose girls
  2868. produced the most goods in a pay period-which was why the machines were
  2869. speeded and why the girls hardly dared take time off even when they were
  2870. feverish.
  2871. "If you can't do the work," Lyddie heard Mr. Marsden say to a girl at
  2872. the breakfast break, "there's many a girl who can and will. We've no
  2873. place for sickly girls in this room."
  2874. Many girls-those with families who could support them or sweethearts
  2875. ready to marry them-went home, and new girls came in to replace them.
  2876. Their speech was strange and their clothing even stranger. They didn't
  2877. live in the corporation boardinghouses but in that part of the city
  2878. known as "the Acre."
  2879. The Acre wasn't part of the tour for foreign dignitaries who came to
  2880. view the splendor of Lowell-the model factory city of the New World.
  2881. Near the Northern Canal, sprouting up like toadstools, rose the squat
  2882. shacks of rough boards and turf with only a tiny window and a few holes
  2883. to let in light. And each jammed with Irish Catholics who, it was said,
  2884. bred like wharf rats. Rumor also had it that these papists were willing
  2885. to work for lower wages, and, since the corporations did not subsidize
  2886. their board and keep, the Irish girls were cheaper still to hire.
  2887. Diana was helping the new girls settle in, teaching them just as she had
  2888. taught Lyddie in the spring. Lyddie herself was far too busy to help
  2889. anyone else. She could not fall behind in her production, else her pay
  2890. would drop and before she knew it one of these cussed papists would have
  2891. her job.
  2892. Often, now, the tune came unbidden to her head:
  2893. Oh! I cannot be a slave,
  2894. I will not be a slave . . .
  2895. It was a dreary December without the abundance of snow that Lyddie
  2896. yearned for. What snow fell soon turned to a filthy sludge under the
  2897. feet of too many people and the soot and ashes from too many chimneys.
  2898. Her body itched even more than it usually did in winter. The tub of hot
  2899. water, that first night in Mrs. Bedlow's bedroom, proved to be her only
  2900. full bath in the city, for, like most of the companies, the Concord
  2901. Corporation had not seen fit to provide bathhouses for their workers.
  2902. The girls were obliged to wash themselves using only the wash basins in
  2903. their rooms, to which Tim hauled a pitcher of cold water once a day.
  2904. Despite the winter temperatures, the factory stayed hot with the heat of
  2905. the machinery, the hundreds of whale oil lamps lit against the winter's
  2906. short, dark days, and the steam piped into the rooms to keep the air
  2907. humid lest warp threads break needlessly and precious time and
  2908. materials be wasted.
  2909. Lyddie went to work in the icy darkness and returned again at night. She
  2910. never saw the sun. The brief noon break did not help. The sky was always
  2911. oppressive and gray, and the smoke of thousands of chimneys hung low and
  2912. menacing.
  2913. At the Lawrence Corporation, just down the riverbank from the Concord, a
  2914. girl had slipped on the icy staircase in the rush to dinner. She had
  2915. broken her neck in the fall. And the very same day, a man loading
  2916. finished bolts of cloth onto the railroad cars in the Lawrence mill
  2917. yard had been run over and crushed. There were no deaths at the Concord
  2918. Corporation, but one of the little Irish girls in the spinning room had
  2919. caught her hair in the machinery and was badly hurt.
  2920. Diana took up a collection for the hospital fees, but Lyddie had no
  2921. money on her person. Besides, how could she give a contribution to some
  2922. foreigner when she had her own poor baby sister to think of? She vowed
  2923. to send her mother something next payday. She had opened a bank
  2924. account and it was growing. She watched it the way one watched a heifer,
  2925. hardly patient for the time to come when you could milk it. She tried
  2926. not to resent withdrawing money to send to her mother, but she could see
  2927. the balance grow each payday. She hadn't seen her mother for two years.
  2928. She had no way of knowing what her true needs were. And surely, as mean
  2929. as Judah was and as crazy as Clarissa might be, they would not let their
  2930. own sister or her child go hungry.
  2931. Christmas was not a holiday. It came and went hardly noticed. Amelia
  2932. had a New Year's gift from her mother-a pair of woolen gloves, which she
  2933. wrapped again in the paper they had come in and hid in her trunk. Only
  2934. someone fresh from the farm or one of the Irish would wear a pair of
  2935. homemade gloves in Lowell. Betsy's brother sent her a volume of essays
  2936. "to improve my mind." She laughed about his gift, knowing that it had
  2937. been bought out of the money she sent him each month for his school
  2938. allowance. "Oh, well," she said. "Only a few more months and our golden
  2939. lad will be on his own. Ah, if only our sexes had been reversed!
  2940. Imagine him putting /me/ through college."
  2941. Lyddie received no gifts, indeed expected none, but she did get a note
  2942. from Triphena, who thanked her for returning the loan. There was little
  2943. news to report from Cutler's. She asked after Lyddie's health and
  2944. complained that the mistress was as harsh as ever. Willie had run off at
  2945. last, and the new boy and girl weren't worth two blasts on a penny
  2946. whistle. Lyddie had to smile. Poor Triphena.
  2947. Was she thinking of Triphena when it happened? Or was she overtired? It
  2948. was late on Friday-the hardest time of the week. Was she careless when
  2949. she replaced the shuttle in the right-hand box or had there been a knot
  2950. in the weft thread? She would never know. She remembered rethreading
  2951. the shuttle and putting it back in the race, yanking the lever into
  2952. its slot . . . Before she could think she was on the floor, blood
  2953. pouring through the hair near her right temple . . . the shuttle, the
  2954. blasted shuttle. She tried to rise, she needed to stop the loom, but
  2955. Diana got there almost at once, racing along the row, tripping with both
  2956. hands the levers of her own machines and Lyddie's four as she ran. She
  2957. knelt down beside Lyddie.
  2958. "Dear God," she said, cradling Lyddie's head in her lap. She pulled her
  2959. handkerchief from her pocket and held it tight against Lyddie's temple.
  2960. It filled immediately with blood. She eased her apron out from under
  2961. Lyddie's head, snatched it off her shoulders, and pressed it against the
  2962. soaked handkerchief.
  2963. Girls had begun to gather. "Get me some cold water, Delia- clean!" she
  2964. cried after the girl. "And handkerchiefs, please. All of you!" she cried
  2965. to the girls crowding about them.
  2966. Mr. Marsden's head appeared in the circle of heads above them. The girls
  2967. shifted to make room for the overseer. "What's this here?" His voice was
  2968. stern, but his face went ashen as he looked down at the two girls.
  2969. "She was hit by the shuttle," Diana said.
  2970. "What?" he yelled above the noise.
  2971. "Shuttle-shuttle--shuttle." The word whished back and forth across the
  2972. circle like a shuttle in a race.
  2973. "Well . . . well ... get her out of here." He clamped a large blue
  2974. pocket handkerchief over his nose and mouth and hurried back to his high
  2975. stool.
  2976. "Not partial to the sight of blood, are we?" The speaker was kneeling on
  2977. the floor beside Diana, offering her the dainty white handkerchiefs she
  2978. had collected from the operatives.
  2979. The cool water came at last. Diana lifted her apron from Lyddie's
  2980. temple. The first gush of blood had eased now to a trickle. She dipped a
  2981. handkerchief into the water and, gently as a cow licking its newborn,
  2982. cleaned the wound. "Can you see all right?" she asked.
  2983. "I think so." Lyddie's head pounded, but when she opened her eyes she
  2984. could see nearly as well as she ever could in the dusty, lamp-lit room.
  2985. She closed her eyes almost at once against the pain.
  2986. "How about your stomach? Do you feel sick?" Lyddie shook her head, then
  2987. stopped. Any movement seemed to make the pain worse.
  2988. There was a sound of ripping cloth at Lyddie's ear. She opened her eyes.
  2989. "Your apron," Lyddie said. "Don't-" Aprons cost money.
  2990. Diana seemed not to hear, continuing to tear until her apron was in
  2991. shreds. She bound the least bloodied pieces around Lyddie's head and
  2992. tied them in place with a narrower strip. "Do you think you could stand
  2993. up?" she asked.
  2994. In answer, Lyddie started to get up. Diana and Delia helped her to her
  2995. feet. "Just stand here for a minute," Diana said. "Don't try to move
  2996. yet."
  2997. The room spun. She reached out toward the beam of the loom to steady
  2998. herself. Diana put her arm around Lyddie's shoulders. "Lean on me," she
  2999. said. "I'll take you home."
  3000. "The bell ain't rung," Lyddie protested weakly.
  3001. "Oh Lyddie, Lyddie," Diana said, "whatever shall we do with you?" She
  3002. sighed and pulled Lyddie close. "Delia, help us down the stairs, please.
  3003. I think I can get her the rest of the way by myself."
  3004. Slowly, slowly they went, stopping every few feet to rest: "We don't
  3005. want to open that cut again," Diana said. "Easy, easy." Mrs. Bedlow
  3006. helped Diana take Lyddie up the stairs to the second-floor infirmary,
  3007. not her own room as she wished. But Lyddie's head pounded too much for
  3008. her to insist that they take her up still another flight of stairs.
  3009. "I'll send Tim for Dr. Morris," she heard Mrs. Bedlow saying. No, no,
  3010. Lyddie wanted to say. Doctors cost money.
  3011. "No," Diana was saying. "Not Dr. Morris. Dr. Craven. On Fletcher
  3012. Street."
  3013. She was asleep when the doctor arrived, but she opened her eyes when she
  3014. heard the murmur of voices above her. "Lyddie," Diana was saying softly,
  3015. "Dr. Craven needs to look at the wound."
  3016. They were there, the two of them standing above her, Diana's familiar
  3017. face flushed, smiling anxiously down at her, and the doctor's ... He was
  3018. a handsome, bearded gentleman- young, his dark brown eyes studying her
  3019. own, his long, thin hands already reaching to loosen Diana's makeshift
  3020. bandage. "Now let's look at that cut of yours," he said in a tone
  3021. compounded of concern and assurance-the perfect doctor.
  3022. Lyddie gasped.
  3023. He drew his hands back. "Are you in pain?" he asked.
  3024. Lyddie shook her head. It was not pain that had startled her. It was the
  3025. doctor himself. She had seen him before-with Diana--last summer on
  3026. Merrimack Street.
  3027. Chapter 14: Ills and Petitions
  3028. By Saturday afternoon she was back in her own room, and by Sunday the
  3029. pain had dulled. Dr. Craven had cut her hair away from the wound and
  3030. bound her head in a proper bandage, but she took it off. She was going
  3031. back to work the next day, bald spot and all. She'd never been
  3032. vain-never had anything to be vain about, to tell the truth. No need to
  3033. start in fussing over her looks now.
  3034. At first Amelia and Mrs. Bedlow objected to her returning to work so
  3035. soon, but they quickly gave up. Lyddie would go to work no matter what.
  3036. "If you can't do the work . . . ," Mr. Marsden had said. Besides, Diana
  3037. came by Sunday evening and said she was looking quite fit again. Diana
  3038. should know, shouldn't she?
  3039. She went to bed early, but she couldn't sleep. Her head seemed to throb
  3040. more when she was lying down. She thought about her family-suppose that
  3041. cussed shuttle had killed her, or put out her eye? What would they do?
  3042. And Diana. What was Lyddie to think? She hadn't dared ask about Dr.
  3043. Craven. Diana hadn't explained why she sent for him instead of Dr.
  3044. Morris, who usually cared for the girls at Number Five. Dr. Craven
  3045. seemed as good a doctor as any-better. He didn't leave a bill.
  3046. The curfew bell rang. Amelia came to bed. Betsy did too, though she kept
  3047. her candle burning, studying into the night as she often did. At last
  3048. she blew out the light, and slid down under the quilts. Then it began,
  3049. that awful tearing sound that Lyddie would come to dread with every
  3050. knotted inch- of nerves through her whole silently screeching body.
  3051. Finally it stopped.
  3052. "Betsy, I /do/ wish you'd see Dr. Morris about that cough." Amelia's
  3053. voice came from the next bed.
  3054. "I'm a big girl, Amelia. Don't nag."
  3055. "I'm not nagging. If you weren't so stubborn . . ."
  3056. "What would he tell me, Amelia? To rest? How can I do that? I've only
  3057. got a few more months to go. If I stop now-"
  3058. "/I'm/ going to stop."
  3059. "What?"
  3060. There was a sigh in the darkness. "I'm leaving-going home."
  3061. "Home?"
  3062. "I-I've come to hate factory life. Oh Betsy, I hate what it's doing to
  3063. me. I don't even know myself anymore. This corporation is turning me
  3064. into a sour old spinster."
  3065. "It's just the winter." Betsy's voice was kinder than usual. "It's hard
  3066. to stay cheerful in the dark. Come spring you'll be our resident saint
  3067. once more."
  3068. Amelia ignored the tease. "I've been through winter before," she said.
  3069. "It's not the season." She sighed again, more deeply than before. "I'm
  3070. tired, Betsy. I can't keep up the pace."
  3071. "Who can? Except our Amazonian Lyddie?" Betsy's laugh turned abruptly
  3072. into a cough that shook the whole bed.
  3073. Lyddie scrunched up tightly into herself and tried to block out the
  3074. sound and the rusty saw hacking through her own chest. Had Betsy been
  3075. coughing like this for long? Why hadn't she heard it before? Surely
  3076. there must be some syrup or tonic, even opium . . .
  3077. "You /must/ see the doctor about that cough," Amelia said. "Promise me
  3078. you will."
  3079. "I'll make a pact with you, Amelia. I'll see the doctor if you'll
  3080. promise to stay until summer. I can't think of Number Five without you."
  3081. She stopped to cough, then cleared her throat and said in a still husky
  3082. voice, "How could I manage? You're the plague of my life-my--my guardian
  3083. angel."
  3084. There was a funny kind of closeness between her roommates after that
  3085. night, but even so, Amelia went home the last week of January to visit
  3086. and didn't come back. She wrote that her father had found her a teaching
  3087. post in the next village. "Forgive me, Betsy," she wrote. "And do,
  3088. please, I beg you, go to see the doctor."
  3089. With a bed to herself, Lyddie was less distressed by Betsy's coughing.
  3090. And though Betsy never quite got around to seeing Dr. Morris, she was
  3091. better, Lyddie told herself. Surely the cough was less wracking than it
  3092. had been. Lyddie missed Amelia. She would have imagined that she'd feel
  3093. relief to have her gone, but Betsy was right. They both needed her in an
  3094. odd sort of way-their nettlesome guardian angel.
  3095. Her cut was quite healed. Her hair grew out and covered the scar. She
  3096. was working as well and as hard as ever. Her January pay came to eleven
  3097. dollars and twenty cents, exclusive of board. Everything was going well
  3098. for her when Mr. Marsden stopped her one evening as she was about to
  3099. leave. The machines were quiet, so she could not pretend deafness.
  3100. "You're feeling fine again? No problems with the-the head?" She nodded
  3101. and made as if to go. "You have to take care of yourself. You're my best
  3102. girl, you know." He put his hand on her sleeve. She looked down at it,
  3103. and he slipped it off. His face reddened slightly, and his little round
  3104. mouth worked a bit on the next sentence.
  3105. "We're getting new operators in tomorrow-not nearly so clever as you,
  3106. but promising. If I could put one in your care- let her work as a spare
  3107. hand on one of your machines."
  3108. Oh, hang it all. How could she say no? How could she explain that she
  3109. must not be slowed down? She couldn't have some dummy monkeying with her
  3110. looms. "I got to make my pieces," she muttered.
  3111. "Yes," he said, "of course you do. It would only be for a day or so. I
  3112. wouldn't let anyone hinder you." He smiled with his mouth and not his
  3113. eyes. "You're my prize girl here."
  3114. I'm not your girl. I'm not anybody's girl but my own.
  3115. "So-it's settled," he said, reaching out as though to pat her again, but
  3116. Lyddie quickly shifted her arm to escape the touch.
  3117. The new girl, Brigid, was from the Acre-an Irish papist through and
  3118. through, wearing layers of strange capes and smelling even worse than
  3119. Lyddie herself. Lyddie scented more than poverty and winter sweat. She
  3120. whiffed disaster. The girl's only asset was a better command of proper
  3121. New England speech than most of her lot. Not that she spoke often. She
  3122. seemed deafened by the machinery and too cowed to ask questions even
  3123. when she needed to.
  3124. As for tying knots, a basic weaver's knot, the girl simply couldn't do
  3125. them. Lyddie demonstrated-her powdered fingers pinching, looping,
  3126. slipping, pulling-all in one fluid motion that magically produced a
  3127. healed warp thread with no hint of a lump to betray the break.
  3128. "You don't even watch!" the girl cried out in alarm. And, of course,
  3129. Lyddie didn't. She had no need to. Her fingers could have tied that knot
  3130. in a privy at midnight, and it would have held. It would have been
  3131. invisible as well.
  3132. "Here," she said, barely clinging to patience. "I'll do it more slowly."
  3133. She slapped off all four machines. With her scissors, she cut two
  3134. threads from a bobbin and, taking the girl to the window where the light
  3135. was best, she wasted at least five precious minutes tying and retying
  3136. the useless knot until, finally, the girl was able, however clumsily, to
  3137. tie a lumpy knot herself.
  3138. Lyddie jerked a nod. "It will get better with practice," she said
  3139. gruffly, anxious to get the stilled looms roaring once more.
  3140. Threading the shuttle was, if anything, worse. Lyddie popped the full
  3141. bobbin into the shuttle and then, as always, put her mouth to the hole
  3142. and sucked the thread through, pulled it to length, wrapped it quickly
  3143. on a hook of the temple, dropped the shuttle into the race, and
  3144. restarted the loom. The next time the quill had to be replaced, she had
  3145. Brigid thread it, and, as she watched the girl put her mouth over the
  3146. hole and suck out the thread, the words /kiss of death/ came to mind.
  3147. She had always thought the words a joke among the weavers, but here was
  3148. this strange-smelling foreigner sucking Lyddie's shuttles, leaving her
  3149. spittle all over the thread hole. Lyddie wiped the point quickly on her
  3150. apron before she banged the shuttle against the far end of the race. "We
  3151. .don't want any flying shuttles," she yelled, her face nearly as crimson
  3152. as the Irish girl's.
  3153. By the end of the first day, the girl was far from ready to operate her
  3154. own machine, but Lyddie had run out of patience. She told Mr. Marsden
  3155. to assign the girl a loom next to her own. "I'll watch out for her and
  3156. tend my own machines as well."
  3157. Before the noon break of the next day, a flying shuttle had grazed the
  3158. girl's shoulder, and she had let the shuttle run out of weft, ruining
  3159. several inches of cloth. When a warp thread snapped, instead of
  3160. instantly hitting the lever to stall the loom, she threw her apron over
  3161. her head and burst into tears.
  3162. "Shut off your loom," Lyddie yelled over to her. "You can tie the knot
  3163. this time. You should know how by now, ey?" The girl burst into tears
  3164. again, and before Lyddie could decide what to do with her, Diana was
  3165. there, slapping off the loom. Burning with shame, Lyddie glanced over
  3166. as Diana, without a quiver of impatience, helped the girl retrieve the
  3167. broken ends and tie a weaver's knot. When, finally, Diana stood back and
  3168. told the girl to pull the lever into place, Lyddie touched Diana's
  3169. shoulder. "Sorry," she mouthed.
  3170. Diana nodded and went back to work. At the last bell Lyddie found
  3171. herself going down the stairs beside Diana.
  3172. "She's going to do fine, your Brigid," Diana said.
  3173. "Oh, I don't know," Lyddie said, wondering how Diana knew the girl's
  3174. name and then annoyed that the foreigner should be "hers." Surely Lyddie
  3175. had never wanted her. "She seems all thumbs and tears. They be such
  3176. fools, those Irish."
  3177. Diana gave a wry smile. "We're all allowed to be fools the first week or
  3178. two, aren't we?"
  3179. Lyddie blushed furiously. "I never thanked you proper for taking care of
  3180. me before," she said. "And your doctor-he never sent a bill. Mind you,
  3181. I'm not complaining, but-"
  3182. Diana didn't comment on the doctor. "Your head seems to have quite
  3183. recovered. How do you feel? No pain, I hope."
  3184. "Oh, I'm all right," Lyddie said. "Just ornery as a old sow."
  3185. "Ornery enough to add your name to the petition?" Diana whispered.
  3186. She was teasing her, Lyddie was sure of it. "I don't reckon I aim to
  3187. ever get that ornery," Lyddie said.
  3188. Betsy signed the petition. One of the Female Labor Reform girls caught
  3189. her in an apothecary shop one evening and got her to write in her name.
  3190. Lyddie was furious. "They got you when you was feeling low," she said.
  3191. "They go creeping around the city taking advantage when girls are
  3192. feeling sick or worn out. Now you'll be blacklisted, and what will I do
  3193. without you?"
  3194. "Better to go out with a flourish than a whine, don't you think?" But
  3195. Betsy was never allowed her imagined exit. She was to be neither
  3196. blacklisted nor dismissed.
  3197. Her cough got no better. She asked for a transfer to the drawing room.
  3198. The work of drawing the warp threads from the beam through the harness
  3199. and reeds had to be done painstakingly by hand. The air was cleaner in
  3200. the drawing room, and there was much less noise. Though the threading
  3201. took skill, it did not take the physical strength demanded in the
  3202. machine rooms, and the girls sat on high stools as they worked. The
  3203. drawing room was a welcome change for Betsy, but the move came too late
  3204. to help. The coughing persisted. She began to spend days in their
  3205. bedroom, then the house infirmary, until, finally, when blood showed up
  3206. in her phlegm, Mrs. Bedlow demanded that she be removed to the
  3207. hospital.
  3208. On Sunday Lyddie went to see her, taking her botany text and a couple of
  3209. novels that cost Lyddie twenty cents at the lending library.
  3210. "You've got to get me out of here," Betsy said between fits of coughing.
  3211. "They'll bleed me of every penny I've saved." But where could Betsy go?
  3212. Mrs. Bedlow would not have her in the house, unwilling to bear the
  3213. responsibility, and Dr. Morris had declared her too weak to travel to
  3214. Maine to her uncle's.
  3215. Lyddie wrote the brother. He was only in Cambridge-less than a day away
  3216. by coach or train-but there was a three-week delay before he wrote to
  3217. say that he was studying for his final examinations and would, perhaps,
  3218. be able to come for a visit at the end of the term.
  3219. Betsy only laughed. "Well," she said, "he's our darling baby boy." Then
  3220. she fell to coughing. There was a red stain on her handkerchief.
  3221. "But you sent him all the way through that college of his."
  3222. "Wouldn't you do as much for your Charlie?"
  3223. "But Charlie is-" Lyddie was going to say "nice" and stopped herself
  3224. just in time.
  3225. "Our parents are dead, and he's the son and heir," Betsy said as though
  3226. that explained everything.
  3227. Betsy grew a little stronger as the weather warmed, and in April her
  3228. uncle came to take her to Maine. By then her savings were gone, along
  3229. with her good looks. "Keep my bed for me, Lyddie. I'll be back next year
  3230. to start all over again. Someday I'll have enough money to go to college
  3231. no matter how much the piece rate drops. I may be the oldest girl in the
  3232. corporation before I have the money again, but if they let women into
  3233. Oberlin at all, surely they won't fuss about gray hair and a few
  3234. wrinkles."
  3235. She'll never come back, Lyddie thought sadly as she watched the buggy
  3236. disappear around the corner, headed for the depot and the train north.
  3237. She'll never be strong enough again to work in a mill thirteen, fourteen
  3238. hours a day. When I'm ready to go myself, she thought, maybe I could
  3239. sign that cussed petition. Not for me. I don't need it, but for Betsy
  3240. and the others. It ain't right for this place to suck the strength of
  3241. their youth, then cast them off like dry husks to the wind.
  3242. He was standing by the front door of Number Five when she came with the
  3243. rush of girls for the noon meal. "Lyddie Worthen ..." He said her name
  3244. so quietly that she almost went past him without hearing. "Miss Lyddie
  3245. ..."
  3246. She turned toward the voice, which didn't seem familiar, to see a tall
  3247. man she didn't know. Later she realized that he had not been wearing his
  3248. broad black Quaker hat. She would have known him at once in his hat. His
  3249. hair in the sunlight was the rusty red of a robin's breast. Several
  3250. girls nudged her and giggled as they pushed past her up the steps to the
  3251. boardinghouse.
  3252. "I was hoping thee would come," he said. He was so tall he had to stoop
  3253. over to speak to her. "I'm Luke Stevens." His grave brown eyes searched
  3254. her face. "Has thee forgotten?"
  3255. "No," she said. "I'd not forgot. I, just never expected-"
  3256. "I wondered if thee would know me in this strange garb." He was wearing
  3257. shirt and trousers of coarse cotton jean-the kind of cloth the Lowell
  3258. mills spit out by the mile. She would have known him at once in his
  3259. Quaker hat and his mother's brown homespun. "I'm fetching some freight
  3260. from down Boston way," he said almost in a whisper, glancing over his
  3261. shoulder as he spoke. "They tend to look out for Friends on the road."
  3262. "Oh," she said, not really understanding.
  3263. "My pa sent thee this," he said, handing her a thick brown parcel about
  3264. the size of a small book. "He didn't want to risk the post with it, and
  3265. since I was coming down Boston way-"
  3266. She took the parcel from his big, rough farmer fist. "I thank you for
  3267. your trouble," she said.
  3268. "It was no trouble." Was he blushing behind that sun- and wind-weathered
  3269. face? How odd he seemed.
  3270. She felt a need to be polite. "Maybe Mrs. Bedlow could find you some
  3271. dinner," she said. "We was just coming to eat."
  3272. "I can't stay longer. I'm due in Boston. But-but, I'm obliged," he said.
  3273. "Well . . ."
  3274. "I'd best be on my way . . ."
  3275. "Well ..." She could hear the calls and clatter of the dinner hour even
  3276. through the closed front door. She'd hardly have a minute to eat her
  3277. meal if he didn't go.
  3278. "It's mighty good to see thee, Lyddie Worthen," he said. "We miss
  3279. having thee up the hill."
  3280. She tried to smile at him. "Thank you for the . . ."-whatever the
  3281. strange parcel was. "It was good of you to bring it all this way." When
  3282. on earth would he leave?
  3283. "Thy Charlie is well," he said. "I was by the mill just last week."
  3284. Charlie. "He's doing well? Fit and-and content?" "Cheerful as ever. He's
  3285. a fine boy, Lyddie." "Yes. I know. Give him my-my best when you see him
  3286. again, ey?"
  3287. He nodded. "Thy house came through the winter in good shape." He saw her
  3288. glimpse the door. "I mustn't hold thee longer from thy dinner," he said.
  3289. "God keep you." "And you," she said. He grinned good-bye and was gone.
  3290. She didn't have time to open the parcel until after supper. Enclosed in
  3291. several layers of brown paper was a strange, official- looking document,
  3292. which at first she could make no sense of, and a letter in a strange
  3293. hand.
  3294. My dear Miss Lydia,
  3295. By now you have despaired of me and decided that I am a man who does not
  3296. honor his word. Please forgive my tardiness. Thanks to the good offices
  3297. of our friends the Stevenses (true Friends, indeed) as well as your
  3298. gracious loan, I was able to make my way safely to Montreal. I have now
  3299. the great joy of my family's presence. Enclosed, 'therefore, herein is a
  3300. draft which can never repay my great debt to you.
  3301. With everlasting gratitude, your friend,
  3302. Ezekial Freeman
  3303. She could not believe it. Fifty dollars. The next day she used her
  3304. dinner break to race to the bank. Yes, it was a genuine draft from a
  3305. solvent Montreal bank. Fifty dollars. With one piece of paper her
  3306. account had bulged like a cow about to freshen. She must find out at
  3307. once what the debt was. She might already have enough to cover it. Why
  3308. hadn't her mother replied to her inquiry? Did her mother even know what
  3309. the debt was? Did she care? Oh mercy, had the woman always hated the
  3310. farm? Was she glad to have it off her hands?
  3311. Lyddie wrote again that very night.
  3312. Dear Mother,
  3313. You have not answered my letter of some months prevyus. I need to know
  3314. the total sum of the det. Writ soon.
  3315. Yr. loving daughter,
  3316. Lydia Worthen
  3317. She didn't take the time to check her spelling. She sealed the letter at
  3318. once. Then, reluctantly, reopened it to slip in a dollar.
  3319. She awoke once in the night and pondered on what she had once been and
  3320. what she seemed to have become. She marveled that there had been a time
  3321. when she had almost gladly given a perfect stranger everything she had,
  3322. but now found it hard to send her own mother a dollar.
  3323. Chapter 15: Rachel
  3324. She told no one about the money. She wanted to tell Diana. Diana, she
  3325. knew, would rejoice with her, but she decided to wait. She was so close
  3326. now to having the money she needed, and when she did, she would surprise
  3327. Diana by signing the petition. Then, not more than a week after Luke had
  3328. brought the money, she had a second visitor who turned her life upside
  3329. down.
  3330. She had left the bedroom door open, trying to encourage a faint breeze
  3331. through the stuffy room while she washed out her stockings and underwear
  3332. in the basin. Suddenly she was aware of Tim, standing in the doorway.
  3333. She looked up from her washing.
  3334. "There's a visitor for you in the parlor, Ma says to tell you. A
  3335. gentleman."
  3336. Charlie! She was sure it must be he, all grown up to a gentleman, for
  3337. who else would come to see her? She could hardly count Luke Stevens. She
  3338. squeezed the water from her laundry and hastily wiped her hands upon her
  3339. apron as she ran down the stairs.
  3340. But it wasn't Charlie waiting in the corner of the dining room that Mrs.
  3341. Bedlow called a parlor. Nor was it Luke. She wondered why Tim had called
  3342. him a "gentleman" at all. At first she was sure he was a stranger. He
  3343. seemed so out of place in the room of neatly dressed, chattering factory
  3344. girls, this short man, very thin, with a weathered face and the homespun
  3345. clothes of a hill farmer.
  3346. "Don't you know your uncle, ey?" the man asked at the same moment she
  3347. recognized him for Judah, Aunt Clarissa's husband, whom she hadn't seen
  3348. since she was a small thing.
  3349. "Made it in two days," he boasted. "Slept right in the wagon."
  3350. She tried to smile, but her heart was beating like a churning blade
  3351. against her breast. What could have brought him here? Anything to do
  3352. with Clarissa had always spelled trouble. "What's the matter?" She
  3353. spoke as quietly as she could, feeling every eye in the crowded parlor
  3354. turned their way. "Why've you come?"
  3355. He sobered at once, as though remembering a solemn duty. "Your Aunt
  3356. Clarissa thought you need be told-"
  3357. "Told what?" A chill went through her.
  3358. "Your ma's never been stout, you know-"
  3359. "The fever? Did she catch the fever?"
  3360. He glanced around at the girls seated in the room, who were pretending
  3361. not to listen, but whose ears stood up, alert as wild creatures in a
  3362. meadow. He lowered his voice, tapping his head. "Stout up here, ey?"
  3363. Lyddie stared at him. What had they done to her mother?
  3364. Judah dropped his eyes, uncomfortable under her stare. "So we been
  3365. obliged-"
  3366. "What have you done to my mother?" she whispered fiercely.
  3367. "We been obliged to remand her to Brattleboro-to the asylum down there."
  3368. "But that's for crazy folk!"
  3369. Judah put on a face of hound-dog sorrow and sighed deeply. "It were
  3370. just too much care for poor Clarissa, delicate as she be."
  3371. "Why didn't you ask me? I been responsible for her before. I can do
  3372. it."
  3373. He cocked his head. "You waren't there, ey?"
  3374. "Where's Rachel? What have you done with the baby?"
  3375. "Why," he said, relieved to have gotten off the subject of her mother,
  3376. "why she's just fine. Right out front in the wagon. I brung her to
  3377. you."
  3378. Lyddie brushed past him out the door. The farm wagon stood outside; the
  3379. patient oxen, oblivious to how comically out of place they looked on a
  3380. city street, chewed their cuds contentedly. For all the stuffiness
  3381. upstairs, it was damp and chilly down on the street, and Rachel sat
  3382. shivering on the bench of the wagon, wrapped in a worn shawl that Lyddie
  3383. recognized as her mother's.
  3384. She climbed up on the wagon step and lifted the child down. Rachel was
  3385. too light. Boneless as a rag doll. As Lyddie went up the steps of the
  3386. boardinghouse, she could feel her tiny burden trembling through the
  3387. shawl. "It's all right, Rachie. It's me, Lyddie," she said, hoping the
  3388. child could remember her.
  3389. She carried Rachel inside to where Judah still stood, nervously
  3390. pinching the rim of his sweat-stained hat. "It's your sister, Rachie,"
  3391. Judah boomed out, his voice fake with hearty cheer. A gasp went up from
  3392. the girls in the parlor. "Like Aunt Clarissie told you, ey? We brung you
  3393. to Lyddie."
  3394. "Have you got her things?"
  3395. In answer he went out to the wagon and brought back a sack with a small
  3396. lump at the bottom.
  3397. "What about my mother's things?" she asked coldly, no longer caring
  3398. about the audience and what they heard.
  3399. "There waren't hardly nothing," he said. She let it go. He was nearly
  3400. right. "Well," he said, looking from one sister to the other, "I'll be
  3401. off, then, ey?"
  3402. "I'm coming to fetch our mother, soon as I can. As soon as I pay off the
  3403. debt. I'll take her back home and care for her myself."
  3404. He turned at the door, the hat brim rolled tight and squeezed in his big
  3405. hands. "Back where?"
  3406. "Home," she repeated. "To the farm."
  3407. "We be selling it," he said, "We got to have the money- for--for
  3408. Brattleboro."
  3409. "No!" Her voice was so sharp that the roomful of girls stopped
  3410. everything they were doing to stare. Even little Rachel twisted in her
  3411. arms to look at her with alarm. She went close to Judah and lowered her
  3412. voice again to a fierce whisper. "No one can sell that land except my
  3413. father."
  3414. "He give permission."
  3415. "How?" She was seized with a wild hope. Her father! They had heard from
  3416. him. "When?"
  3417. "Before he left. He had it wrote out and put his mark to it. In
  3418. case-ey?"
  3419. She wanted to scream at him, but how could she? She had already
  3420. frightened Rachel. "You got no right," she said between her teeth.
  3421. "We got no choice," the man said stubbornly. "We be responsible." And
  3422. he was gone.
  3423. Once more Lyddie was aware of the other girls in the room, who were
  3424. watching her openmouthed and gaping at the dirty little bundle in her
  3425. arms. She buried her face in the shawl. "Come on, Rachie," she said as
  3426. much to them as to the child, "we got to go meet Mrs. Bedlow." She
  3427. straightened up tall and made her way through the chairs and knees to
  3428. the kitchen.
  3429. "Mrs. Bedlow?" The housekeeper was sitting in the kitchen rocker,
  3430. peeling potatoes for tomorrows hash.
  3431. "What in heaven's name?"
  3432. At the housekeeper's sharp question, Rachel's little head came up from
  3433. the depths of the shawl like a turtle from a shell.
  3434. "It's Rachel, Mrs. Bedlow." Lyddie made her voice as gentle as she
  3435. could. "My sister, Rachel."
  3436. She could read the warning in Mrs. Bedlow's eyes. No men, no children
  3437. (except for the keeper's own) in a corporation house. But surely the
  3438. woman would not have the heart . . .
  3439. "I'm begging a bath for her. She's had a long, rough journey in an ox
  3440. cart, and she's chilled right through, ey Rachie?"
  3441. Rachel stiffened in her arms, but Mrs. Bedlow dropped her paring knife
  3442. into the bowl of peeled potatoes, wiped her hands on her apron, and put
  3443. a kettle on to boil.
  3444. It was only after they had both seen Rachel safely asleep in Lyddie's
  3445. bed that Mrs. Bedlow said the words that Lyddie knew were on her mind.
  3446. "It won't do, you know. She can't stay here."
  3447. "I'll get her a job. She can doff."
  3448. "You know she's not old enough or strong enough to be a doffer."
  3449. "Just till I can straighten things out," Lyddie pleaded. "Please let
  3450. her stay. I'll get it all set in just a few days, ey?"
  3451. Mrs. Bedlow sighed and made to shake her head.
  3452. "I'll pay, of course. Full board. And you see how small she is. You know
  3453. she won't eat a full share."
  3454. Mrs. Bedlow sat down and picked up her paring knife. Lyddie held her
  3455. breath. "A week. Even then-"
  3456. "It wouldn't be more'n a fortnight. I give you my vow. I just got to
  3457. write my brother."
  3458. Mrs. Bedlow looked doubtful, but she didn't say no. She just sighed and
  3459. started to peel again, the long coil so thin it was almost transparent.
  3460. "I'm obliged to you, Mrs. Bedlow. I got nowhere to turn, else."
  3461. "She mustn't go outdoors. We can't have her seen about the premises."
  3462. "No, no, I swear. I'll keep her in my room. The other girls won't even
  3463. know."
  3464. Mrs. Bedlow looked at Lyddie wryly. "They already know, and there's no
  3465. guarantee they'll keep their peace." "I'll beg 'em-"
  3466. "No need to coop her up more than necessary. She can come down with me
  3467. during the day. I'll have Tim help her with her letters and numbers in
  3468. the afternoon. She ought to be in school herself."
  3469. "She will be, Mrs. Bedlow. She will be. Soon as I can get things worked
  3470. out. I swear upon my life-"
  3471. "You need to watch your language, my girl. Set an example for the little
  3472. one."
  3473. "I thank you, Mrs. Bedlow. You'll not be sorry, I promise." She wrote
  3474. Charlie that night after curfew in the flickering light of a forbidden
  3475. stub of candle.
  3476. Dear Brother Charles,
  3477. I hope you are well. I am sorry to trouble you with sad news, but Uncle
  3478. Judah come tonight to Lowell and brung Rachel to me. They have put our
  3479. mother to the asylum at Brattleboro. Now they are thinking to sell the
  3480. farm. You must go and stop them. You are the man of the family. Judah
  3481. won't pay me no mind. They got to listen to you. I got more than one
  3482. hundred dollars to the det. Do not let them sell, Charlie. I beg you. I
  3483. don't know what to do with Rachel. Children are not allowed in
  3484. corporation house. If I can I will take her home, but I got to have a
  3485. home to go to. It is up to you, Charlie. Please I beg you stop Uncle
  3486. Judah.
  3487. Yr. loving sister,
  3488. Lydia Worthen
  3489. She could hardly keep her mind on her work. What was the use of it all
  3490. anyway if the farm was gone? But it couldn't be! Not after all her
  3491. sweating and saving. And what was she to do with Rachel? The child
  3492. hadn't spoken a word since her arrival. She hadn't even cried. She
  3493. seemed more dead than alive. And precious time must be spent finding her
  3494. a place to stay and precious money put out for her keep-more if she was
  3495. to go to school. Why couldn't the child work in the spinning room?
  3496. There were Irish children down there who looked no older than seven or
  3497. eight. They were earning their own way. Hadn't Lyddie herself been
  3498. working hard since she was no more than a tadpole? And doffing wasn't as
  3499. hard as farm work. Why those children hardly worked fifteen minutes out
  3500. of the hour, just taking off the full spools and replacing them with
  3501. empty ones. Then they just sat in the corner and played or chatted.
  3502. Sometimes from the window on a clear day Lyddie had seen them running
  3503. about the mill yard playing tag or marbles. It was an easy life compared
  3504. to the farm, and still Rachel would be out of mischief and earning her
  3505. own way.
  3506. As if she hadn't trouble enough, Brigid was crying again. Lyddie
  3507. glanced over at the loom. Everything seemed in order, but the Irish girl
  3508. was standing there, staring at the shuddering machine with tears running
  3509. down her cheeks. Lyddie quickly checked her own looms before walking
  3510. over and saying in the girl's ear, "What's the matter with you, ey?"
  3511. Brigid looked around startled. She bit her lip and shook her head.
  3512. Lyddie shrugged. It was just as well if the girl learned to bear her own
  3513. troubles.
  3514. Mr. Marsden stopped Lyddie at the stairs on the way to breakfast. Her
  3515. heart knotted. How could he have heard about Rachel already? Had one of
  3516. the other girls tattled so soon? They were jealous of her, Lyddie knew.
  3517. She was the best operator on the floor. But it was not about Rachel
  3518. that Mr. Marsden wished to speak, it was about the wretched Irish girl.
  3519. "You must tell her," he said, "that she must get her speed up. I can't
  3520. keep her on, even as a spare hand, unless she can maintain a proper
  3521. pace."
  3522. Why didn't he tell her himself? He was the overseer. Brigid did not
  3523. belong to her. She hadn't asked for a spare hand- hadn't wanted one--and
  3524. now he was trying to shove the responsibility off on her.
  3525. She spoke to Brigid after the break. "He says you'll have to speed up or
  3526. he can't keep you on."
  3527. The girl's eyes widened in fear, reminding Lyddie, oh cuss it, of
  3528. Rachel's silent face as the child sat crouched within herself in the
  3529. corner of Mrs. Bedlow's kitchen. "Oh, tarnation," she hollered in
  3530. Brigid's ear, "I'll help you. We'll do the five looms together for a few
  3531. days-just till you get on better, ey?"
  3532. The girl smiled faintly, still frightened.
  3533. "And keep your mind on your blooming work, you hear? We can't have you
  3534. catching your hair or being hit in the head by a flying shuttle because
  3535. you're being stup-because your mind is someplace else."
  3536. Fresh tears started in the girl's eyes, but she bit her lip again and
  3537. nodded. Lyddie could see Diana smiling approval. Good thing she couldn't
  3538. hear me, Lyddie thought wryly. She wouldn't be thinking I was so kindly
  3539. then.
  3540. By the seven o'clock bell, Brigid was looking a little less distraught,
  3541. and Mr. Marsden came past to pat both girls proudly. Lyddie sighed and
  3542. hardly bothered to dodge him. She had gotten off the fewest pieces in
  3543. one day since she'd had four looms, and she still had to go home to the
  3544. burden of silent little Rachel.
  3545. "Well, it won't do," said Mrs. Bedlow. "She won't talk to either Tim or
  3546. me. Not a word. Just sits trembling in the corner like a frozen mouse."
  3547. "Did she manage to eat anything?"
  3548. "Did she manage to eat? She eats like she hasn't had food in a month of
  3549. Sundays. I fed her with Tim. She out ate him! And he a growing boy. But
  3550. never a word through it all-just shovels it in like there'll never be
  3551. another plateful this side of the grave."
  3552. Lyddie looked at the housekeeper's face, pinched with anger, and then
  3553. down at the top of Rachel's head. The child was trembling-like Oliver,
  3554. she thought. Like Oliver.
  3555. /For more? That boy will be hung. I know that boy will be hung./
  3556. Oh Rachie, Rachie. I don't want to think of you hungry. "I'll pay you
  3557. more," she promised Mrs. Bedlow.
  3558. "It isn't the money ..." But it was quite clear to Lyddie that it was
  3559. indeed the money in addition to the risk, so Lyddie vowed to fetch
  3560. payment from the bank the very next day. She had to buy time-at least
  3561. until she heard from Charlie.
  3562. When she had finished her own supper, she fetched Rachel from the
  3563. kitchen, took her out to the privy, and then led her by hand up the
  3564. staircase to the bedroom. All of this was accomplished with neither of
  3565. them saying a word aloud, although inside Lyddie's head lengthy
  3566. conversations were bouncing about. As she tucked the quilt about the
  3567. child, she tried some of her practiced lines aloud. "What did you do
  3568. today, Rachie?" "Did Tim make you do some schoolwork?" "Ain't Mrs.
  3569. Bedlow funny?" "She's all right, ey, just scared to break a rule . . .
  3570. We got to do what the corporation says, you know, 'cause if we don't
  3571. we're out of a job, and then what would we do, ey?" There was no answer.
  3572. She hadn't expected any, still . . . "You musn't be worried, Rachie,
  3573. Judah can't sell the farm. Charlie and me, we won't let him. We're
  3574. keeping it for Papa"- was there a flicker of life in the eyes?--"and
  3575. Mama--and Charlie and Rachie and Lyddie too." Did she just imagine the
  3576. child had relaxed a little against the pillow, or was it a trick of the
  3577. candlelight?
  3578. Maybe if she read aloud, as Betsy had to her. She opened /Oliver Twist/
  3579. and commenced. When Rachel fell asleep she didn't know. Lyddie was lost
  3580. in the comfort of the familiar words. When the bell rang, she blew out
  3581. the candle and lay in the darkness, feeling the presence of the small
  3582. body nearby. What could she do? Where could she turn for help? She
  3583. couldn't keep Rachel here, and yet she, Lyddie, must live in a
  3584. corporation house to keep her job. And without her job, what good could
  3585. she do for any of them? But how could she put this little lost child out
  3586. with strangers? She cursed her aunt and uncle-what could they have been
  3587. thinking of to bring the child here? And yet, wasn't she better off here
  3588. with Lyddie, who loved her, than with those two, who must not have given
  3589. her enough to eat? Poor little Rachel. Poor old Lyddie. She heaved
  3590. herself over in bed. She had to sleep. There was nothing she could do
  3591. until she heard from Charlie. Surely Charlie could stop Judah from
  3592. selling the farm, and then, debt or no debt, she'd take Rachel home. Let
  3593. them try to get her off that land again. Just let them try.
  3594. In her uneasy sleep she saw the bear again, but, suddenly, in the midst
  3595. of his clumsy thrashing about, he threw off the pot and was transformed,
  3596. leaping like a spring buck up into the loft where they were huddled. And
  3597. she could not stare him down.
  3598. Chapter 16: Fever
  3599. Taking the money from the bank was like having a rooted tooth yanked
  3600. from her jaw. Then, the most painful part past, she pressed two whole
  3601. dollars into Mrs. Bedlow's hand before going out on the town to buy
  3602. Rachel shoes and shawl and to order a dress made for her. Having spent
  3603. that much, Lyddie squandered fifty pence more to get the child a
  3604. beginning reader and a small paper volume of verses that the bookseller
  3605. recommended. All told, Lyddie had spent more than two weeks' wages.
  3606. There was less than a dollar in her pocket now left from the princely
  3607. sum she had withdrawn. She tried not to think on it. It was for Rachel,
  3608. wasn't it? How could she begrudge the child?
  3609. The very next day Brigid was slower than ever, and it was all that
  3610. Lyddie could do to keep from screaming. Time after time she took the
  3611. shuttle from the girl's clumsy hands, sucked the thread through from the
  3612. bobbin, and threw it into the race, raging that a machine should stand
  3613. idle for even a few seconds. Brigid was on the brink of tears all day.
  3614. At last Lyddie exploded when once again the girl's inattention caused
  3615. a snarl and a ruined piece. "You must mind, girl!" she shouted. "Forget
  3616. everything else but the loom."
  3617. "But I canna forget," Brigid cried out. "Me mother sick unto death and
  3618. no money for a doctor."
  3619. "Here!" She snatched all the change from her apron pocket and stuffed it
  3620. into Brigid's. "Here. That's for the doctor. Now- mind the machine, ey?"
  3621. The next few days went better than those before. She coaxed a few words
  3622. from Rachel, and the suggestion of a smile, when she read aloud from the
  3623. book of verses.
  3624. "Doctor Foster went to Gloucester In a shower of rain; He stepped in a
  3625. puddle Right up to his middle, And never went there again."
  3626. "Well," said Lyddie, "that's mud season in Vermont, ey?" And Rachel
  3627. smiled. Encouraged, Lyddie tried to make a rhyme for Rachel herself.
  3628. "Uncle Judah went to Bermuda
  3629. In the April rain
  3630. He sunk in the ooze
  3631. Right up to his snooze
  3632. And never was heard of again."
  3633. This time there was no mistaking the smile.
  3634. Work was going better as well. Brigid was pathetically grateful for
  3635. her gift. She beat Lyddie to work in the mornings and had two of the
  3636. machines oiled and gleaming before Lyddie even entered the room.
  3637. Mr. Marsden was very pleased. By Thursday, he smiled across the room
  3638. continually. Lyddie resolved not to glance his way, but she could see
  3639. without looking the little rosebud mouth fixed in its prissy bow.
  3640. How hot the room seemed. Of course it was always hot and steamy, but
  3641. somehow . . . Perhaps if she hadn't been burning up she could have kept
  3642. her head, but she was so hot, so exhausted that Thursday in May, she
  3643. wasn't prepared, she had no defenses. He stopped her and made her wait
  3644. until everyone had gone-just when she felt she must lie down or faint,
  3645. he stopped her and put both his fat white hands heavily on either
  3646. sleeve, dragging his weight on her arms. He was saying something as
  3647. well, but her head was pounding and she couldn't make it out. What did
  3648. he want with her? She had to go. She had to see Rachel. Her whole body
  3649. was on fire. She needed a cool cloth for her head. And yet he kept
  3650. holding on to her. She tried to stare him down, but her eyes were
  3651. burning in their sockets. Let me go! She wanted to cry. She tried to
  3652. pull back from him, but he clutched tighter. He was bringing his strange
  3653. little mouth closer and closer to her fiery face.
  3654. She murmured something about not feeling well, but it made his eyes grow
  3655. soft and his arm go all around her shoulder.
  3656. What made her do it? Illness? Desperation? She'd never know. But she
  3657. raised her booted foot and stomped her heel down with all her might. He
  3658. gave a cry, and, dropping his arms, doubled over. It was all the time
  3659. she needed. She stumbled down the stairs and across the yard, nearly
  3660. falling at last into the door of Number Five. He had not tried to
  3661. follow.
  3662. She did not go to work the next day or for many days thereafter. Her
  3663. fever raged, and she was out of her mind with it. Once, she realized
  3664. that someone was putting a cold cloth on her forehead, and she raised
  3665. her arm to bring it down over her burning eyelids. A tiny cool hand
  3666. rested on her hot one and stroked it timidly. Somewhere, at a great
  3667. distance, she heard a small voice croon: "There, there." And then her
  3668. heavy arm was lifted and put back gently under the quilt.
  3669. Dr. Morris was summoned. She tried to protest. She couldn't waste money
  3670. on doctors, but if the words came out at all, they came out too thickly
  3671. for anyone to understand.
  3672. The bell rang, but it was far away now. It no longer rang for her.
  3673. People came in and out of the darkened room. Sometimes Mrs. Bedlow was
  3674. spooning broth into her, sometimes another of the boarders. Diana was
  3675. there, and Brigid, though who would have sent for them?
  3676. Brigid had brought some Irish concoction that Mrs. Bedlow seemed to be
  3677. trying to refuse, but the girl would not leave until she had been
  3678. allowed to spoon some of it into the patient's mouth. And always,
  3679. whenever Lyddie swam up the fiery pool out into consciousness, she knew
  3680. that Rachel was there beside her.
  3681. She'll get sick, Lyddie tried to protest. Make her go away. Or move me
  3682. to the infirmary. She's too frail. But either she never got the words
  3683. out, or no one could or would understand, for whenever she was in her
  3684. right mind, Rachel was there.
  3685. She woke one morning with a start. The bell was clanging, banging away
  3686. at her dully aching head. She sat up abruptly. The room swooped and
  3687. dipped about her. More slowly, she swung her legs over the side of the
  3688. bed, but when she tried to stand, she fell over like a newborn calf.
  3689. "Rachel," she called. "Help me. I got to go to work."
  3690. Rachel raised up from the other bed. "You're awake!" she cried. "Lyddie,
  3691. you didn't die!"
  3692. She fell back onto her pillow. "No," she said weakly. "Not yet. We can
  3693. stil hop."
  3694. Chapter 17: Doffer
  3695. It had been two weeks since she fell ill, and Dr. Morris still refused
  3696. to let her return to work. Her mind roared protest, but her legs could
  3697. hardly carry her to the privy. Her body had never betrayed her before.
  3698. She despised its weakness, and every day she heard the first bell and
  3699. ordered herself up and dressed, but she would only be up a few minutes,
  3700. not even through washing herself at the basin, before the sweat broke
  3701. out on her forehead from the effort, and she was obliged to let Rachel
  3702. help her back to bed.
  3703. There was too much time in bed. She slept and slept and still there were
  3704. hours awake to worry when her mind skimple- skombled back on itself like
  3705. threads in a snarled loom. Why hadn't Charlie written? She should have
  3706. heard from him long ago. Perhaps her letter had been lost. That was it.
  3707. She sat straight up.
  3708. "Better rest, Lyddie." Rachel was there as always. "The doctor said."
  3709. "Get me some paper and my pen and ink from the box there-the little one
  3710. on top of the bandbox. I must write Charlie again."
  3711. Rachel obeyed, but even as she handed Lyddie the writing materials, she
  3712. protested. "You ain't s'posed to worry, Lyddie. Doctor said."
  3713. Lyddie put her hand on Rachel's head. Her hair was soft as goose down.
  3714. "It's all right, Rachie. I'm much better, ey? Nearly all well now."
  3715. Rachel's brow furrowed, but her eyes were clear, not the dead, blank
  3716. eyes of her arrival. Lyddie stroked her hair. "I had me such a good
  3717. nurse. I couldn't have believed it."
  3718. Rachel smiled and nodded at the writing box. "Tell Charlie," she said.
  3719. "I'll be sure to," Lyddie said. "He'll be monstrous proud."
  3720. By the next week she was feeling truly ready to go back to work and
  3721. remembering with every breath her last act at the factory. Merciful
  3722. heavens. There was probably no work to go back to. Had she really? Had
  3723. she truly stomped on Mr. Marsden's foot with her boot heel? She hardly
  3724. knew whether to laugh or cry. She sent a note to Brigid-most of the
  3725. girls were wary of speaking to Diana under Mr. Marsden's nose-asking her
  3726. and Diana to stop over after supper.
  3727. That evening both Diana and Brigid came as she hoped. Brigid brought
  3728. more soup from her now fully recovered mother and a half bottle of Dr.
  3729. Rush's Infallible Health Pills. "Me mother swears by them," she said,
  3730. blushing.
  3731. Diana handed Lyddie a paperbound book-/American Notes for General
  3732. Circulation/-by Mr. Charles Dickens. "Since you're such an admirer of
  3733. the gentleman, I thought you might like to see what he wrote about
  3734. factory life in Lowell," she said. "I suppose he was comparing us to the
  3735. satanic mills of England- anyhow, it's a bit romantical, as they say."
  3736. A book. By Mr. Dickens. "How did you know-"
  3737. "My dear, anyone who copies a book out page by page and pastes it to her
  3738. frame ..."
  3739. Lyddie sent Rachel and Brigid down to beg a cup of tea from Mrs. Bedlow.
  3740. "Diana, I got to ask you. Has Mr. Marsden said anything of me?"
  3741. "Well, of course. He missed you at once. You're his best girl."
  3742. Lyddie felt her face go crimson.
  3743. "I told him I'd ask after you. That's when I learned how ill you were. A
  3744. lot of the girls have been out with this fever- especially the Irish.
  3745. There've been many deaths in the Acre."
  3746. Lyddie looked away, out the tiny dirty window of the bedroom. Thank
  3747. you, God. How could I leave my baby girl?
  3748. Diana reached over from where she was sitting on the edge of the other
  3749. bed and put her hand lightly on Lyddie's arm. "I'm grateful you were
  3750. spared, Lyddie," she said softly.
  3751. Lyddie pressed her lips together and gave a little nod. "I reckon I'm
  3752. too ornery to die."
  3753. "I wouldn't be surprised."
  3754. "Can you recollect-can you remember just what Mr. Marsden said when he
  3755. asked about me?"
  3756. "He didn't speak directly to me. He doesn't like to think that you and I
  3757. are friends, you know, but I know he was worried. He wouldn't want to
  3758. lose you."
  3759. "So I still got a place?"
  3760. Diana looked at her as though she were crazy. "Why on earth not?"
  3761. "I stomped his foot."
  3762. "You what?"
  3763. "I was all a fever, only I didn't know, ey, and he tried to hold me
  3764. after the rest had gone. He wouldn't let me go, so I- I stomped down on
  3765. his foot."
  3766. Diana threw her head back and laughed out loud.
  3767. "It ain't a joke. He'll have my place for it."
  3768. "No, no," she said, trying to recover. "No," she said, taking out her
  3769. handkerchief and wiping her eyes. "No, I don't think so. He's probably
  3770. more frightened than you are. Have you ever seen Mrs. Overseer Marsden,
  3771. Lyddie? If word ever got to that august lady ..." She stopped laughing
  3772. and lowered her voice, her ear cocked toward the open door.
  3773. "Nonetheless, I wouldn't make attacking the overseer a regular practice,
  3774. my dear. Do be more discreet in the future-that is, if you want to stay
  3775. on at the corporation. The day may come when Mr. Marsden would welcome
  3776. any excuse to let you go." She smiled wryly. "It sounds as though I'm
  3777. advising you not to sign any petitions or consort with any known
  3778. radicals."
  3779. "But maybe he meant nothing. I was burnt up with the fever. Maybe I
  3780. mistook kindness for-for--" She grimaced. "You know I'm not the kind of
  3781. girl men look at that way. I'm plain as plowed sod."
  3782. Diana raised an eyebrow, but Rachel and Brigid were at the door with the
  3783. tea, so she said nothing more.
  3784. I'll pretend, thought Lyddie, as she tried to unsnarl her brain over the
  3785. steaming cup, I'll pretend I was crazy from the fever and didn't know
  3786. what I was doing-can't even remember what I did.
  3787. "I want to be a doffer, Lyddie," Rachel said. Lyddie had brushed her
  3788. sister's curls and was weaving them into plaits. Rachel wanted to pin
  3789. her hair up like the big girls in the house, but Lyddie insisted that
  3790. the braids hang down. She couldn't bear for Rachel to look like a funny
  3791. little make-believe woman. "Brigid says her little sister is a doffer
  3792. and she's no bigger than me."
  3793. "Oh Rachel. You need to go to school." She loved to braid Rachel's hair,
  3794. but was suddenly ashamed that she had only string to bind it with. She
  3795. should have splurged on a bit of ribbon. Rachel was so pretty, for all
  3796. her being too thin. She ought to have bright bows to set off the two
  3797. silky curls at the end of each plait. They would brighten her drab
  3798. little dress. But ribbons cost money, and string bound the hair just as
  3799. well. She twisted each curl around her index finger and gave it a final
  3800. brush. "We got to get you into school. You don't want to grow ignorant
  3801. as your Lyddie."
  3802. "You ain't ignorant a-tall. I seed you read." "You want I should read to
  3803. you, Rachie?" "No. I want you should let me be a doffer." "We'll have to
  3804. wait and see, ey? When we hear from Charlie . . ."
  3805. But they didn't hear from Charlie. They heard from Quaker Stevens.
  3806. Dear Sister Worthen,
  3807. Thy brother asked me to look into the sale of thy farm. All inquiry has
  3808. come to naught, but as I have business in thy uncle's neighborhood on
  3809. Wednesday next, I will inquire directly at that time. I trust thee and
  3810. the little one are in good health. Son Luke asks to be remembered to
  3811. thee.
  3812. Thy friend and neighbor,
  3813. Jeremiah Stevens
  3814. She tried not to feel angry at Charlie for not writing to her himself.
  3815. He had, after all, done the sensible thing. To the law and their uncle,
  3816. they were only children. Judah would have to listen to Quaker Stevens.
  3817. He was a man of substance. She was glad to know that Luke had gotten
  3818. safely home. She had finally realized that the freight he had come to
  3819. fetch was human.
  3820. The letter meant, though, that she could wait no longer. Something
  3821. would have to be done about Rachel. The promised fortnight had passed,
  3822. and she must go back to work herself on the morrow. She sent Rachel to
  3823. the bedroom, stuffed the letter in her apron pocket, and went into the
  3824. kitchen.
  3825. She didn't start with the request, but with an offer of help to fix
  3826. dinner. Mrs. Bedlow was always grateful for an extra hand in the
  3827. kitchen, even though the house was now down to only twenty girls.
  3828. "You give me more than the fortnight, Mrs. Bedlow, and I am obliged,"
  3829. she said, once the cabbage had been chopped and the bread sliced.
  3830. "You were near to death, Lyddie. I'm not without heart." "Indeed not."
  3831. Lyddie smiled as warmly as she knew how. "You been more'n good to me
  3832. and mine. Which is why I dare-"
  3833. "It won't do, you know. I can't keep her on indefinitely." "But if she
  3834. was a doffer-" "She's hardly more than a baby."
  3835. "She's small, but she's a worker. Didn't she nurse me, ey?" "She pulled
  3836. you through. I wouldn't have warranted it-" "Could you ask the agent for
  3837. me? Just until I got things set with my brother? All I want to do is
  3838. take her home. It wouldn't be for long, I swear. Meantime, I've not the
  3839. heart to set her out with strangers."
  3840. Mrs. Bedlow was weakening. Lyddie could read it in the sag of her face.
  3841. She pressed on, eagerly. "It won't be more than a few weeks, and I'd pay
  3842. extra, I would. I know it's hard for you with only twenty girls here
  3843. regular-"
  3844. "I'll speak to the agent, but I can't promise you-" "I know, I know. But
  3845. if you'll just ask for me. She's a fine little worker, and so eager to
  3846. make good." "I can't promise anything-" "Would you go now and ask?"
  3847. "Now? I'm in the middle of fixing dinner-" "I'll finish for you. Please.
  3848. So I can take her over when I go back to work tomorrow ..."
  3849. It was arranged. Lyddie suspected that Mrs. Bedlow had added a few years
  3850. and several pounds in her description of Rachel to the agent, but a
  3851. skeptical look was all she got from the overseer on the spinning floor
  3852. when she presented Rachel for work the next morning. And Rachel looked
  3853. so bright and eager and smiled so sweetly that even the skeptical look
  3854. melted, and she was sent, skipping down the aisle, to meet the other
  3855. doffers under the care of a kindly middle-aged spinner.
  3856. Slowly, Lyddie climbed the flight of stairs to the weaving room. Her
  3857. worry for Rachel had pushed aside, for a time, her own fears of seeing
  3858. Mr. Marsden again. She didn't dare look in his direction, but went
  3859. straight to her looms where Brigid was already at work, cleaning and
  3860. oiling.
  3861. "You're looking much the rosier," Brigid said. How pretty the girl was
  3862. with her light brown hair and eyes clear blue as a bright February sky
  3863. after snow. It was the smile, though, that transformed her into a real
  3864. beauty. Lyddie smiled back. She did not envy other women their good
  3865. looks. And even if she had been so inclined, she would never begrudge
  3866. this bounty of nature to one so poor in everything else.
  3867. "We covered the machines as best we could while you were gone, me and
  3868. Diana. Though"-she smiled apologetically-- "you'll see from your wage,
  3869. the work was not near what it would be, had you been here."
  3870. It was all they had time to say before Mr. Marsden stepped on his stool
  3871. and pulled the cord that set the room to roaring and shaking. Lyddie
  3872. jumped, then laughed. How quickly she'd forgotten the noise! Within
  3873. minutes she had settled in and forgotten everything else-Mr. Marsden,
  3874. her weakness, the farm, Charlie, even Rachel. It was good to be back
  3875. with her beasts again. She belonged among them somehow.
  3876. By the breakfast bell she was almost too tired to eat. She would, if she
  3877. could have chosen, sat out the break in the window alcove, but that
  3878. would leave her alone on the floor. She glanced at Mr. Marsden and
  3879. hurried toward the stairs. He didn't speak to her. It was as if nothing
  3880. had occurred between them, except that he never came over to her loom to
  3881. pat and encourage her. Not once.
  3882. She managed to eat breakfast, or some of it. Rachel was stuffing herself
  3883. like a regular factory girl, talking excitedly at the same time. She
  3884. stopped only to look at Lyddie and say through her full mouth, "Eat,
  3885. Lyddie. You got to eat and grow strong."
  3886. So it was she got through breakfast and dinner, but by supper she
  3887. could only manage a few bites of stew before she dragged herself up to
  3888. bed. Fatigue was like a toothache in her bones. She would have cursed
  3889. her weakness, had she the strength.
  3890. Each day, though, she was a little stronger. At first she could not feel
  3891. it, no more than a body can feel itself grow taller. But by the end of
  3892. the week, she found that she had eaten a full plate at supper and was
  3893. lingering in the parlor with Rachel, who was watching, fascinated, as a
  3894. phrenologist sought to sell his services to the girls.
  3895. "Please, Lyddie," Rachel begged. "Let's have our heads done."
  3896. "I know about my head, Rachel. Why should I pay good money to find out
  3897. it's plain as sod and stubborn as a mule?"
  3898. "And such a skinflint a penny would freeze to your fist before you'd
  3899. spend it," the phrenologist snapped. "I give you that reading for free.
  3900. Not that there's hope you'd pay."
  3901. The other girls in the parlor tittered. Even Lyddie tried to smile, but
  3902. Rachel was indignant. "She's not mean. She's going to buy me ribbons,"
  3903. she declared. "Come on, Lyddie," she added, taking her hand. "Let's go
  3904. read the book you bought me."
  3905. The girls laughed again, but more gently. They had never cared much for
  3906. Lyddie, whom they knew to be close with her money and her friendships,
  3907. but Rachel was rapidly becoming their pet.
  3908. How dry her life had been before Rachel came. It was like springs of
  3909. water in the desert to have her here. She kissed her head that night
  3910. before she tucked her in. "You don't think your Lyddie is a cheap old
  3911. spinster, ey?"
  3912. Rachel was furious all over again. "You're the best sister in the
  3913. world!"
  3914. Lyddie blew out the candle. She lay listening to Rachel's even breathing
  3915. and heard in her memory the sounds of birds in the spring woods. If only
  3916. she could hear from Charlie, Lyddie's happiness would be complete. The
  3917. money was growing again. She had nearly caught up with the wages lost
  3918. by her illness, and even though Rachel made only a pittance, it paid her
  3919. room and board. She had seldom been happier.
  3920. She woke in the night, puzzled. She thought she had heard Betsy
  3921. again-that wretched hacking sound that sawed through her rib cage
  3922. straight into her heart. And then she was wide awake and knew it to be
  3923. Rachel.
  3924. It was only a cold. Surely it was nothing. She would be over it in a
  3925. week. See, the child seemed bright-eyed and lively as ever. If she were
  3926. sick, really sick . . . Lyddie kept the knowledge of the night cough
  3927. tight inside herself, but the fear grew like a tumor. She began to lie
  3928. awake listening for the awful sound, until finally, she knew she must
  3929. send the child away- anywhere, just so she was not breathing this poison
  3930. air.
  3931. It will break my heart to send the child away. Lyddie could not bear the
  3932. thought. It might break Rachel's heart as well. She has been sent away
  3933. too often in her short life. Look, she dotes on me. Me, tough and mean
  3934. as I be. She clings to me more than she ever did our mother. She needs
  3935. me.
  3936. Lyddie did not know what to do, and she was too terrified to ask. No one
  3937. must know. She fed Rachel the pills Brigid had brought her. She had no
  3938. faith in them, but she must try. She fixed plasters for the child's
  3939. chest, trying to turn it into a game, desperate to hide her own terror.
  3940. And she was succeeding, wasn't she? Rachel seemed happy as ever and
  3941. carefree as a kitten. Caught in a spasm of coughing, she made light of
  3942. it. "Silly cough," she said. "All the girls have them."
  3943. Lyddie mustn't worry. Summer was here. The weather was warm. Rachel
  3944. would be over it soon. They'd take July off. Go back to the farm, the
  3945. two of them. But it was a vain dream, Lyddie knew. There would be
  3946. nothing to eat there. The cow was gone and no crops planted.
  3947. Triphena. She would send Rachel to Triphena. But Triphena meant Mistress
  3948. Cutler as well as that lonely, airless attic. How could she do to Rachel
  3949. at eight what her mother had done to her at thirteen? It had been hard
  3950. even then. And so very lonely. She hadn't realized how lonely until
  3951. now-now that she was no longer alone.
  3952. Then one evening in late June-she had just read Rachel to sleep--Tim
  3953. knocked on the door. "A visitor for you, Lyddie," he said. "In the
  3954. parlor."
  3955. Chapter 18: Charlie at Last
  3956. She hardly knew him. He was not so much taller, but bigger somehow,
  3957. foreign. He wore homespun, but it was well tailored to his body. His
  3958. brown hair was combed neatly against his head, and a carpetbag hung from
  3959. his right hand.
  3960. "Sister," he said quietly, and the voice was one she had never heard
  3961. before and would not have known for his.
  3962. "Sister," he repeated, his voice cracking on the words, "it's me,
  3963. Charles."
  3964. "Yes," she said. "Charles. So-you come."
  3965. He smiled then. She looked in vain for the funny, serious little boy she
  3966. knew. He wasn't thirteen yet. How could he have discarded that little
  3967. child so quickly?
  3968. He glanced around the crowded room. All the staring faces quickly dived
  3969. back into their sewing or knitting or conversation. "I took the
  3970. railroad car," he said in quiet pride. "The stage into New Hampshire, to
  3971. Concord, and then all the rest of the way by train." Then he grinned
  3972. like a child, but not the child she remembered. Not quite.
  3973. She didn't know what to say. She cared nothing for railroads, those
  3974. dangerous, dirty things. It was the farm she ached to know about.
  3975. "Well," she said at last, "you must be tired, ey?"
  3976. She cast about the parlor for two free chairs. At her glance, three
  3977. girls rose and abandoned theirs in the far corner of the room beyond the
  3978. dining tables. She thanked them and led him over. It was she who felt
  3979. the need to sit.
  3980. "Well," she said, arranging her apron on her lap. "Well, then?" It was
  3981. as much of a question as she could manage.
  3982. "I got good news, Lyddie," he said, a little of the boy she knew
  3983. creeping into his voice. Her heart rose.
  3984. "The Phinneys have taken me on as full apprentice."
  3985. "Ey?"
  3986. "More than that, truly. They treat me like their own. They don't have no
  3987. child but me."
  3988. "You got a family," she said faintly.
  3989. "You'll always be my sister, Lyddie. I don't forget that. It's
  3990. just . . ." He put the carpetbag on the floor and laid his cap
  3991. carefully on top. His hands were big now, too large for his body.
  3992. Finally he looked up at her. "It's just-I don't have to worry every
  3993. morning when I get up and every night when I lie abed. I just do my
  3994. work, and every day, three times, the food is there. When the work is
  3995. slack, I go to school. It's a good life they give me, Lyddie-"
  3996. She wanted to scream out at him, remind him how hard she had worked for
  3997. him, how hard she had tried, but she only said softly, "I wanted to do
  3998. for you, Charlie. I tried-"
  3999. "Oh Lyddie, I know," he said, leaning toward her. "I know. But it
  4000. waren't fair to you. You only a girl, trying to be father and mother and
  4001. sister to us all. It were too much. This'll be best for you, too, ey.
  4002. Don't you see?"
  4003. No! she wanted to howl. No! What will be the use of me, then? But she
  4004. kept her lips pressed together against such a cry. At last she said,
  4005. "There's Rachel ..."
  4006. He smiled again, his grown-up smile that turned him into a stranger. "I
  4007. have good news there, too. Mrs. Phinney asked me to bring Rachel back.
  4008. She craves a daughter as well. And she'll be so good to her, you'll see.
  4009. She even sent a dress. She made it herself for Rachel to wear on the
  4010. train. With a bonnet even." His eyes went to the carpetbag beside the
  4011. chair. "She's never had a proper Ma, Rachel."
  4012. She has me. Oh Charlie, I ain't perfect, but I do my best. Can't you
  4013. see? I done my best for you. She's all I got left now. How can I let her
  4014. go? But even as she stormed within herself, she knew she had no choice.
  4015. Like the rusty blade through her heart she felt it. If she stays here
  4016. with me, she will die. If I cling to her, I will be her death.
  4017. She heard her own voice, calm as morning after a storm, no, quiet as
  4018. death, say, "When will you be leaving?"
  4019. "The train leaves Lowell at five minutes after seven of the morning.
  4020. I'll come to fetch her at half past six."
  4021. "I'll have her ready before I go to work." She stood. There was nothing
  4022. more to be said.
  4023. He stood, too, cap in hand, wanting, she knew, to say more, but not
  4024. knowing quite how. She waited.
  4025. "About the farm . . ." he began.
  4026. The farm. A few minutes before she had thought it was all she cared
  4027. about. Now it had ceased to matter.
  4028. "Uncle Judah's bound and determined to sell."
  4029. Lyddie nodded. "Well," she said, "so be it."
  4030. He grinned wryly. "For a man who says the Lord is set to end the whole
  4031. Creation at any minute, he's got a powerful concern for the vain things
  4032. of this world." She realized he was trying to be funny, so she attempted
  4033. a smile.
  4034. "But I near forgot ..." He reached into an inside pocket and took out a
  4035. sealed letter.
  4036. Lyddie stared at it. "He ain't sending me money?"
  4037. "Who?"
  4038. "Uncle."
  4039. "Oh, no, not him. He says anything from the sale is rightly his for
  4040. taking care of Ma and the babies all this time. No. This here is a
  4041. letter." He handed it to her, studying her face the while. "From Luke."
  4042. "Luke who?"
  4043. "Lyddie! Our friend, Luke. Our neighbor Luke Stevens." He seemed
  4044. shocked. He couldn't know she was two lifetimes away from the day Luke
  4045. had driven them to the village and at least one lifetime from the day
  4046. the Quaker boy had stood on the doorstep of Number Five in his peculiar
  4047. disguise.
  4048. She tucked the letter in her apron pocket. "Thank you," she said, "and
  4049. good-bye, I reckon. I'll not be here in the morning when you come."
  4050. "It'll be all right, Lyddie. It'll be best for us all, ey?" His voice
  4051. was anxious. "It'll work out best for you, as well."
  4052. "You forgot your bag," she said.
  4053. "No, that's for Rachel." He picked it up and handed it to her. He put
  4054. out his hand as if to shake hers, but hers were tightly wrapped around
  4055. the handle of the bag. She nodded instead. The next she saw him he would
  4056. be taller than she, Lyddie thought. If there was a next time. She led
  4057. him to the door. "Good-bye," she mouthed the words. She couldn't have
  4058. spoken them aloud if she'd dared.
  4059. She climbed the stairs like an old, decrepit woman, clinging to the
  4060. banister and pulling herself up step by step. Rachel was fast asleep.
  4061. She would not wake her. In the candlelight she studied the lovely little
  4062. face. Too thin, too pale, the skin nearly transparent. Lyddie brushed
  4063. back a curl that had escaped its plait and smoothed it against Rachel's
  4064. cheek. Any minute she would start to cough, her little body wracked, the
  4065. bed shaking. Mrs. Phinney would keep her safe. She could go to school.
  4066. She would have a good life, a real mother. And she will forget me,
  4067. plain, rough, miserly Lyddie who only bought her ribbons because she was
  4068. shamed to it. Will she ever know how much I loved her? How I would have
  4069. gladly laid down my life and died for her? How, O Lord, I am dying this
  4070. very minute for her?
  4071. She took out the dress. It was a lovely sprigged muslin. It looked too
  4072. big for Rachel's tiny frame, but the child would grow into it. She would
  4073. lengthen and fatten and turn once again into a stranger. Lyddie's tears
  4074. were soaking the dress. She wiped her face on her own apron skirt, then
  4075. laid out the new garments-the frilly little bonnet with ribbons and
  4076. lace, a petticoat fit for a wedding. A length of pink ribbon was woven
  4077. in and out all around the top of the hem, wasted, pure waste where no
  4078. one would ever see it. Except Rachie.
  4079. She packed the bag. It took less than a minute. Rachel had so little.
  4080. She remembered the primer, and then decided to keep it. Rachel would
  4081. have a new one, a better one now. She took the book of verses off the
  4082. nightstand and shut it in the bag, then took it out again. She got her
  4083. box of writing materials, dipped her pen in the ink, and wrote in
  4084. painful, careful script on the fly leaf: "For Rachel Worthen from her
  4085. sister Lydia Worthen, June 24, 1846," wiping her face carefully on her
  4086. apron as she wrote so as not to blot the page.
  4087. She lay awake most of the night listening to Rachel cough, the sound
  4088. rasping and sawing through her own body. But the pain of it was her
  4089. salvation. She knew, if she had ever doubted before, she was absolutely
  4090. certain, that Rachel must leave Lowell.
  4091. When the first bell rang, instead of waking Rachel as usual, she waited
  4092. until she herself was dressed and ready to go. Then she shook her
  4093. gently.
  4094. Rachel awoke at once, alarmed. "I'm late! Why did you let me sleep?"
  4095. "You got a treat today, Rachie. Charlie's come to fetch you."
  4096. "Charlie? My brother Charlie?" She was as excited as if she could really
  4097. remember him. Lyddie brushed away a cobweb of envy. "He's come to take
  4098. you for a visit."
  4099. "He wants me to visit him?" She was plainly thrilled, but then she
  4100. caught something in Lyddie's face. "You coming too, ain't you Lyddie?"
  4101. "No, not me. I got to work, ey?" The child's face darkened. "I'll come
  4102. later." She stretched out her hand. "Here, up you go, you got to get
  4103. ready."
  4104. Rachel took Lyddie's hand and pulled herself upright, then threw back
  4105. the covers. The child always slept under a quilt, even in the terrible
  4106. summer heat. "How long will I be gone, Lyddie?"
  4107. "I don't rightly know. We both, me and Charlie, we both think you should
  4108. stay awhile. Make sure you get rid of that silly cough, ey? The factory
  4109. is too hot in summer, anyways. Lots of the girls take off, come July."
  4110. "Will you take off, Lyddie?" She was standing in her little night shift,
  4111. scratching one leg with the bare toes of the other.
  4112. "I just might. Who knows, ey?" Lyddie wrung out the cloth over the basin
  4113. and handed it to Rachel to wash.
  4114. "Come with me now, Lyddie."
  4115. "Over on the other bed is a new dress for you to put on. You got to
  4116. dress fancy for riding on a train."
  4117. "A railroad train?"
  4118. "Luckiest girl I know. New dress and bonnet, train ride, holiday with a
  4119. handsome man ..." She took the cloth from Rachel's hand, tipped up the
  4120. child's chin, and began to wash her upturned face. "Now you learn your
  4121. letters better so you can write me all about that train ride." The bell
  4122. began to ring. She turned swiftly, wringing the cloth out over the
  4123. basin, her face to the wall, lest she betray herself. "He'll be here to
  4124. fetch you in a hour or so," she said brightly. "So get yourself dressed
  4125. and go down and ask Mrs. Bedlow to give you a extra big breakfast." She
  4126. turned only long enough to give Rachel a light kiss on the cheek and
  4127. then hurried out the door.
  4128. "Come soon, Lyddie." Rachel's voice followed her down the stairs. "I'll
  4129. miss you."
  4130. "Be a good girl for Charlie," she called back, and rushed on down the
  4131. stairs with a great clatter to erase any more sounds, any more doubts.
  4132. Rachel had been gone nearly a week when she found the letter with her
  4133. name written on it in small, neat handwriting. She had stuffed it into
  4134. her trunk some days before and couldn't remember at first where it had
  4135. come from. She unsealed it curiously.
  4136. Dear Lyddie Worthen,
  4137. Doubtless thy Charlie has told thee about thy farm. Although our father
  4138. pled on thy behalf, thy uncle could not be moved. Thus our father put
  4139. down the purchase price himself, as he has four sons and not enough land
  4140. for us all.
  4141. I have spoken with thy Charlie. He has urged me to put aside my fears
  4142. and speak my heart plain. Which is that I long to earn from our father
  4143. the deed to thy farm. Yet thy land would be barren without thee.
  4144. May I dare ask thee to return? Not as sister, but as wife? Forgive
  4145. these bold words, but I know not how to fashion pretty phrases fit for
  4146. such as thee.
  4147. In all respect, thy friend,
  4148. Luke Stevens
  4149. What had Charlie said to the man to make him dare write such a letter?
  4150. Do they think they can buy me? Do they think I will sell myself for that
  4151. land? That land I have no one to take to anymore? I have nothing left
  4152. but me, Lyddie Worthen-do they think I will sell her? I will not be a
  4153. slave. Nor will I be his freight-some homeless fugitive that Luke
  4154. Stevens must bend down his lofty Quaker soul to rescue.
  4155. She tore the letter into tiny bits and stuffed every shred of it into
  4156. Mrs. Bedlow's iron cook stove, and then, to her own amazement, burst
  4157. into tears.
  4158. Chapter 19: Diana
  4159. She had been alone before Rachel came, but she had not known what
  4160. loneliness was-this sharp pain in her breastbone dragging down into a
  4161. dull, persistent heaviness. My heart is heavy, she thought. It's not
  4162. just a saying. It is what is-heavy, a great stone lodged in my breast,
  4163. pressing down my whole being. How can I even stand straight and look
  4164. out upon the world? I am doubled over into myself and, for all the
  4165. weight, find only emptiness.
  4166. Workdays dragged by with nothing to look forward to at the evening bell.
  4167. Rumor had it that the corporation had slowed the clocks to squeeze even
  4168. more minutes out of the long summer shift. From time to time, she
  4169. wondered why she was working so hard, now that the farm was sold and
  4170. Rachel and Charlie lost to her. She brushed the question aside. She
  4171. worked hard because work was all she knew, all she had. Everything else
  4172. that had made her know herself as Lyddie Worthen was gone. Nothing but
  4173. hard work-so hard that her mind became as calloused as her hands--work
  4174. alone remained. She fell into bed exhausted and only felt the full
  4175. burden of her grief in dreams, which, determined as she was, she could
  4176. not control.
  4177. The weavers at the Massachusetts Corporation had all refused the
  4178. agent's demand that they each tend four looms and take a piece rate
  4179. reduction as well. They signed a pledge in defiance and none of them
  4180. backed down. The word went like a whispered wave through the Concord
  4181. weaving room: "Not a girl has backed down. Not a one."
  4182. Diana should have been elated. Wasn't it a victory for the Association?
  4183. But when Lyddie was finally able to rouse herself from her own pain, she
  4184. saw that Diana's face was drawn, the expression grim and set. Since
  4185. Rachel had gone, whenever Brigid or Diana had tried to reach out to her,
  4186. she had shaken them off. No one could understand her loss, she was sure.
  4187. She did not have the strength to bear their vain attempts to comfort.
  4188. Then, suddenly, it was mid-July, and Lyddie realized that Diana was
  4189. still at work, looking more sickly by the day. It was more than the heat
  4190. of the weaving room. She's worried, Lyddie thought, she's sore troubled,
  4191. and I, so bent on my own trial, never took it to mind.
  4192. Lyddie tried to speak to Diana on the stairs, but she seemed hardly to
  4193. hear the greeting. Are they threatening her with dismissal? With
  4194. blacklisting? A chill went through Lyddie. She thought she had nothing
  4195. else to lose, but suppose Diana was to go? Diana-the one person who,
  4196. from her first day on, had treated her like a proper person-the only one
  4197. who had never laughed at Lyddie's queer mountain speech or demanded that
  4198. she change her manners or her mind. All the girls took their burdens to
  4199. Diana. She was always the one who came to help /you./ Nobody ever
  4200. thought of Diana needing help.
  4201. She's ill-like Betsy and Rachel and Prudence and a host of others,
  4202. Lyddie thought. She's worked here too long and too hard. How much longer
  4203. could Diana last? How much longer could any of them last?
  4204. I must do something for her, Lyddie decided, give her a present. There
  4205. was only one present good enough.
  4206. "Diana?" Lyddie worked her way through the jostling crowd of operatives
  4207. crossing the yard. "I been thinking." She glanced around to see if
  4208. anyone was listening, but all the girls were too intent on rushing home
  4209. for their suppers. "About the- the--" Even now that she had made up her
  4210. mind, she couldn't quite bring herself to speak the forbidden word in
  4211. the very courtyard of the corporation. She took a deep breath. "I been
  4212. thinking on signing."
  4213. The older girl turned to her and put her hand on Lyddie's sleeve.
  4214. "Well," she said, and Lyddie couldn't quite make out the rest in the
  4215. clamor of the yard, but it sounded something like: "Well, we'll see," as
  4216. Diana let herself be carried away in the rushing stream of operatives.
  4217. But I mean it, thought Lyddie. I mean it.
  4218. Earlier in the spring she had known that there were girls in her own
  4219. house secretly circulating the petition, but now that she had made up
  4220. her mind to it, she wanted to do it for Diana. How could it be a true
  4221. present otherwise? After supper she put on her bonnet and went to
  4222. Diana's boardinghouse. She asked one of the girls in the front room of
  4223. Number Three for Diana. "Diana Goss?" the girl asked with a sneer. "It's
  4224. Tuesday. She'll be at her meeting."
  4225. "Oh."
  4226. The girl looked her up and down as though memorizing her features. Maybe
  4227. the girl was a corporation spy. Stare her down, Lyddie told herself. The
  4228. other was shorter than she, so when Lyddie stood tall and looked down
  4229. into her eyes, the girl shifted her gaze. "It's at their reading room on
  4230. Central Street." She glanced back at Lyddie. The sneer had returned.
  4231. "Number Seventy-six. All are welcome. So I'm told."
  4232. In for a penny, in for a pound, thought Lyddie, and made her way into
  4233. town.
  4234. The meeting had already begun. Someone was reading minutes. The forty
  4235. or so girls crowded into the small room looked almost like a sewing
  4236. circle, so many of the girls were doing mending or needlework.
  4237. "Hello." The young woman who seemed to be in charge interrupted the
  4238. secretary's droning. "Come on in."
  4239. Lyddie stepped into the room, looking about uncertainly for a chair. To
  4240. her relief she saw Diana, getting up and coming toward her. "You
  4241. came," she said, her tired features relaxing into a smile. It reminded
  4242. her of that first night when she had gone to see Diana, except then
  4243. Diana had looked lovely and full of life. She took Lyddie to a place
  4244. where there were two vacant chairs and sat beside her while the meeting
  4245. carried on.
  4246. It was hard for Lyddie to follow the discussion. They were planning
  4247. something for some sort of rally at the end of the month. She kept
  4248. waiting for someone to mention the petition, so she could declare
  4249. herself ready to sign, but no one did. At the first curfew bell, the
  4250. woman in charge pronounced the meeting adjourned until the following
  4251. Tuesday, and the girls broke into a buzz, gathering their sewing things
  4252. together and putting on bonnets to leave.
  4253. The woman who had been in charge came over to where Lyddie was standing
  4254. with Diana. She stretched out her hand. "I'm Mary Emerson," she said.
  4255. "Welcome. I think this is your first time with us."
  4256. Lyddie shook the woman's hand and nodded.
  4257. "This is my friend, Lydia Worthen," Diana said. "She's thinking about
  4258. joining us."
  4259. Miss Emerson turned expectantly to Lyddie. "I come to sign the-the
  4260. petition," Lyddie said.
  4261. The woman cocked her head, seemingly puzzled. What was the matter with
  4262. her? "The one to ask for ten-hour workdays." Why was she explaining the
  4263. petition to a leader of the movement? It was crazy.
  4264. "Maybe next year," Diana was saying quietly.
  4265. "No. I made up my mind to it. I want to do it now. Tonight."
  4266. "But we've already submitted it," Miss Emerson said. "We had to. Before
  4267. the legislature recessed for the year."
  4268. She had at long last made up her mind to do it, and now it was too late?
  4269. "But-"
  4270. "Next year," Diana repeated, "you can put your name in the very first
  4271. column, if you like."
  4272. "Yes," said Miss Emerson brightly. "That's our motto- 'We'll try again.'
  4273. Since four thousand names didn't convince them, next year we'll have to
  4274. get eight." She gave Lyddie the kind of encouraging smile a teacher
  4275. gives to a slow pupil. "We'll need all the help we can get."
  4276. Lyddie stood there, openmouthed, looking from Diana's thin face to the
  4277. other woman's robust one. Too late. She'd come too late. She was always
  4278. too late. Too late to save the farm. Too late to keep her family
  4279. together. Too late to do for Diana the only thing she knew to do.
  4280. "We'd better get you back to Number Five," Diana was saying. Like she
  4281. was some helpless child who needed tending. "You wouldn't want to be
  4282. late."
  4283. They hurried down the dimly lit streets toward the Concord
  4284. boardinghouses without speaking. Lyddie wanted to explain- to say she
  4285. was sorry, to somehow make it up to Diana-but she didn't know how to do
  4286. it.
  4287. As they neared Number Five, Diana broke the silence. "Thank you for
  4288. coming tonight."
  4289. "Oh Diana, I come too late."
  4290. "You came as soon as you could."
  4291. "I'm always too late to do any good."
  4292. "Lyddie . . ." Diana was hesitating. "I'll miss you."
  4293. What was she saying? "I ain't going nowhere. I'll be right here. Next
  4294. year and the next."
  4295. "No. /I'm/ the one who'll be leaving."
  4296. "But where would you be going?" Diana had always said that the mill was
  4297. her family.
  4298. "Boston, I think."
  4299. "I don't understand. Are you ailing?"
  4300. "Lyddie, if I don't leave soon-right away, in fact--I'll be dismissed."
  4301. "It's because of the cussed petition. They're trying to get you-"
  4302. "No. Not that. I wish it were." They had stopped walking and stood
  4303. several yards away from the steps of Number Five. They both watched the
  4304. heavy door swing open and glimpsed the light inside as two girls hurried
  4305. in to beat the final bell. "It's because . . . Oh Lyddie, don't despise
  4306. me . . ."
  4307. "I could never do that!" How could Diana say such a thing?
  4308. "Lyddie, I've been, oh, I don't know-foolish? wicked?"
  4309. "What are you talking about? You could never be-"
  4310. "Oh, yes." She was silent for a moment as though sifting the words she
  4311. needed from the chaff of her thoughts. "I'm going to have a child,
  4312. Lyddie."
  4313. "A what?" Her voice had dropped to a stunned whisper. She tried to
  4314. search Diana's features, but it was too dark to read her expression.
  4315. "Who done this to you?" she asked finally.
  4316. "Oh Lyddie, no one 'done' it to me."
  4317. "Then he'll marry you, ey?"
  4318. "He-he's not free to marry. There's a wife ... in Concord. She wouldn't
  4319. come to live here in a factory town. Though her father is one of the
  4320. owners." Diana's laugh was short and harsh.
  4321. It was that doctor. Lyddie was sure of it. He looked so kind and gentle
  4322. and all the time . . . "But what will you do?" She could hear now the
  4323. shrillness in her voice. She tried to tone it down. "Where can you go?"
  4324. "I've got some savings, and he's-he's determined to help as he can. I'll
  4325. find work. I'll-we'll manage--the baby and I."
  4326. "It ain't right."
  4327. "I'll need to go soon. I can't bring dishonor on the Association. Any
  4328. whisper of this, and our enemies will dance like dervishes with
  4329. delight." She could hear the grim amusement in Diana's voice. "I won't
  4330. hand them a weapon to destroy us. Not if I can possibly help it."
  4331. "How can I help you? Oh Diana, I been so blind-"
  4332. She touched Lyddie's cheek lightly. "Let's just pray everyone has been
  4333. as blind. I'll write you, if I may. Tell you how things go-"
  4334. "You been so good to me-"
  4335. "I'll miss you, little Lyddie." The final bell began to clang. "Quick.
  4336. Slip in before they lock you out."
  4337. "Diana-" But the older girl pushed her toward the door and hurried away
  4338. down the street toward Number Three.
  4339. The word passed around the floor next morning was that Diana Goss had
  4340. left, snatching an honorable dismissal while she could still get it.
  4341. Much more of her radical doings and she would have been blacklisted, or
  4342. so the rumors went.
  4343. Chapter 20: B Is for Brigid
  4344. Brigid had two looms now and would soon be ready for a third. She stood
  4345. between them proudly, the sweat pouring from her forehead in
  4346. concentration. If she would wear less clothing-but no, the girls from
  4347. the Acre wore the same layers of dress, summer and winter. Still,
  4348. despite her craziness, Brigid was turning into a proper operative.
  4349. Mr. Marsden hardly came past Lyddie's looms these days. When their eyes
  4350. met by chance, it was as though they had never been introduced. Earlier,
  4351. his coldness had worried her. She feared then that he might find some
  4352. reason to dismiss her, so she had been scrupulous to observe every
  4353. regulation to the letter. As the days went on, she became less anxious
  4354. about Mr. Marsden's state of mind, much preferring his coolness to the
  4355. rosebud smiles and little pats she had endured before her illness.
  4356. She treated herself to some more books. In honor of Ezekial Freeman-what
  4357. a handsome name her friend had chosen for himself-she bought /Narrative
  4358. of the Life of Frederick Douglass: An American Slave Written by Himself/
  4359. and a Bible. Both volumes became a quiet comfort to her Sunday
  4360. loneliness, because as she read them she could hear Ezekial's rich, warm
  4361. voice filling the darkness of the cabin.
  4362. She had liked Mr. Dickens's account of his travels in America-all but
  4363. the Lowell part. It was, as Diana had warned her, romantical. There was
  4364. no mention in its rosy descriptions of sick lungs or blacklisting or men
  4365. with wives at Concord.
  4366. July wore on its weary way into August. It seemed a century since the
  4367. summer just a year ago when she had read and reread /Oliver Twist/ and
  4368. dreamed of home. She had been such a child then-such a foolish,
  4369. unknowing child. As always, many of the New England operatives had gone
  4370. home. Brigid took on her third loom. More Irish girls came on as spare
  4371. hands, some of the machines simply stood idle. The room was quieter.
  4372. Lyddie took to copying out passages from Mr. Douglass and the Bible to
  4373. paste on her looms.
  4374. She liked the Psalms best. "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills . .
  4375. ." and "By the rivers of Babylon there we sat down, yea, we wept, when
  4376. we remembered Zion . . ." The Psalms were poetry, no, songs that rode
  4377. the powerful rhythm of the looms.
  4378. Sometimes she composed her own. "By the rivers of Merrimack and Concord
  4379. there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered ..." I must forget,
  4380. she thought. I must forget them all. I cannot bear the remembering.
  4381. Lyddie was strong again. Her body no longer betrayed her into exhaustion
  4382. by the end of the day, and she was past shedding tears for what might
  4383. have been. It was a relief, she told herself, not to carry the burden of
  4384. debt or, what was worse, the welfare of other persons. A great yoke had
  4385. been lifted from her shoulders, had it not? And someday the stone would
  4386. be taken from her breast as well.
  4387. Between them, she and Brigid coached several of the new spare hands, all
  4388. of them wearing far too much clothing in the suffocating heat. "But me
  4389. mither says me capes will cape me cool," one of the girls insisted.
  4390. Lyddie let it be. She hadn't managed to persuade Brigid to take off her
  4391. silly capes, how could she expect to persuade the new girls? Still, she
  4392. was more patient with them than she had ever been with poor Brigid at
  4393. the beginning. She had to be. Brigid herself was a paragon of
  4394. gentleness, teaching the new girls all that Lyddie and Diana had taught
  4395. her, never raising her voice in irritation or complaint.
  4396. Lyddie watched her snip off a length of thread from a bobbin and lead
  4397. one of the clumsier girls over to the window and show her in the best
  4398. light how to tie a weaver's knot. It was exactly what Lyddie remembered
  4399. doing, but she knew, to her shame, that her own face had betrayed
  4400. exasperation, while Brigid's was as gentle as that of a ewe nuzzling her
  4401. lamb.
  4402. She smiled ruefully at Brigid as the girl returned to her own looms.
  4403. Brigid smiled back broadly. "She's a bit slow, that one."
  4404. "We're all allowed to be fools the first week or two," she said, hearing
  4405. Diana's voice in her head. There had been a short note from Diana
  4406. telling her not to worry-that she had found a place in a seamstress's
  4407. shop. But how could she not be anxious for her?
  4408. "Aye," Brigid was continuing sadly, "but I'm a fool yet." She nodded at
  4409. the Psalm pasted on Lyddie's loom. "And you such a scholar."
  4410. Lyddie slid her fingers under the paper to loosen the paste and handed
  4411. it to Brigid. "Here," she said, "for practice. I'll make another for
  4412. myself."
  4413. Brigid shook her head. "It will do me no good. I might as well be blind,
  4414. you know."
  4415. "But I sent you a note once-"
  4416. "I took it straight away to Diana to read to me."
  4417. "You've learned your letters at least?"
  4418. Shamefaced, the girl shook her head.
  4419. Lyddie sighed. She couldn't take Brigid on to teach, but how could she
  4420. begrudge her a chance to start? She made papers for the girl to post.
  4421. "/A/ is for agent." Beside it was a crude picture of a man in a beaver
  4422. hat-the stern high priest of those invisible Boston gods who had created
  4423. the corporations and to whom all in Lowell daily sacrificed their lives.
  4424. "/B/ is for bobbin and Brigid, too." /B/ was instantly mastered. "/C/
  4425. is for carding."
  4426. "/D/ is for drawing in," She went on, using as far as possible words
  4427. Brigid knew from factory life. Each day Lyddie gave her three new papers
  4428. to post and learn, and, at the end of the day, to take home and
  4429. practice.
  4430. So it was that day by day, without intending to be, Lyddie found herself
  4431. bound letter by letter, word by word, sentence by sentence, page by
  4432. page, until it was, "Come by when you've had your supper, and we'll work
  4433. on the reader together." Or on a Sunday afternoon: "Meet me by the
  4434. river, and I'll bring paper and pens for practice."
  4435. She did not go to Brigid's house. She was not afraid to go into the
  4436. Acre. She was not frightened by rumors of robberies and assaults, but,
  4437. somehow, she was reluctant to go for Brigid's sake. She did not want
  4438. Brigid to have to be ashamed of the only home she had.
  4439. At last a letter came from Charlie. She had not allowed herself to look
  4440. for one, but when it came she realized how she had longed to hear-just
  4441. to be reminded that she had not been altogether forgotten.
  4442. Dear Sister Lyddie,
  4443. (Charlie did make his letters well!)
  4444. We are fine. We hope you are well, too. Rachel began school last month.
  4445. Her cough is nearly gone, and she is growing quite fat with Mrs.
  4446. Phinney's cooking.
  4447. Luke Stevens says he has had no reply. Do think kindly on him, Lyddie.
  4448. You need someone to watch out for you as well.
  4449. Your loving brother,
  4450. Charles Worthen
  4451. She almost tore this letter up, but stopped at the first tear. She had
  4452. nearly ripped the page across Charlie's name.
  4453. September came. Some of the New England girls had returned to the
  4454. weaving room, though the room now was mostly Irish. No Diana, of course,
  4455. though there was something in Lyddie that kept waiting for her, that
  4456. kept expecting to see the tall, quiet form moving toward her through the
  4457. lint-filled room. She had taken something from the weaving floor with
  4458. her going. There was no quiet center left in the tumult.
  4459. A letter arrived in September, on thick, expensive paper, the address
  4460. decked out in curlicues. "We regret to inform you of the death of Maggie
  4461. M. Worthen ..." They hadn't even got her name right. Poor Mama. Nothing
  4462. ever right for her in life or death. Lyddie squeezed her eyes closed and
  4463. tried to picture her mother's face. She could see the thin, restless
  4464. form rocking back and forth before the fire, the hair already streaked
  4465. with gray. But the face was blurred. She had been gone so long from
  4466. them. Gone long before she died.
  4467. Fall came. Not the raucous patchwork of the Green Mountains, but the
  4468. sedate brocade of a Massachusetts city. The days began to shorten.
  4469. Lyddie went to work in darkness and came back to supper in darkness. The
  4470. whale oil lamps stayed on nearly the whole day in the factory, so water
  4471. buckets were kept filled on every floor. Fire was a constant dread while
  4472. the lamps burned.
  4473. As the days grew short, breakfast came before the working day began.
  4474. There was, as always, barely time to swallow the meals, though the food
  4475. was not as ample as it had been a year ago. At the end of the day now,
  4476. she waited for Brigid, and they would go out together. Often all the
  4477. other girls passed them on the stairs or in the yard, for they would be
  4478. talking about what Brigid had read since the day before, and Lyddie
  4479. would solve the mystery of an impossible word or the conundrum of a
  4480. sentence.
  4481. Then one evening, she realized that Brigid was not beside her on the
  4482. crowded stairs. She tried to wait, but the crowd of chattering
  4483. operatives pushed her forward. She went down to the bottom of the stairs
  4484. and stepped out of the stream. A hundred or more girls went past.
  4485. She was puzzled. Surely Brigid had been right beside her. They had been
  4486. talking. Brigid had asked her what "thralldom" was. She was trying
  4487. laboriously to read Mr. Douglass's book, but was yet to get through the
  4488. first page of the preface.
  4489. At last the stairs were empty of clattering feet and the shrill laughter
  4490. of young women at the end of a long workday. But still there was no
  4491. Brigid. Lyddie hesitated. Perhaps the girl had gone ahead? Or perhaps
  4492. she had forgotten something and gone back. Lyddie started across the
  4493. nearly deserted yard. Her supper would be waiting and Mrs. Bedlow was
  4494. insulted by tardiness. She had got nearly to the gate when something
  4495. made her stop, nose up, like a doe with young in the thicket.
  4496. She hurried back and climbed the four flights to the weaving room. The
  4497. lamps had been extinguished by the operatives as they left their looms,
  4498. so at first her eyes could make out nothing but the hulking shapes of
  4499. the machines.
  4500. Then she heard a strained, high-pitched voice. "Please, sir, please Mr.
  4501. Marsden ..."
  4502. Lyddie snatched up the fire bucket. It was full of water, but she didn't
  4503. notice the weight. "Please-no--" She ran down the aisle between the looms
  4504. toward the voice and saw in the shadows Brigid, eyes white with fear,
  4505. and Mr. Marsden's back. His hands were clamped on Brigid's arms.
  4506. "Mr. Marsden!"
  4507. At the sound of her hoarse cry, the overseer whirled about. She crammed
  4508. the fire bucket down over his shiny pate, his bulging eyes, his rosebud
  4509. mouth fixed in a perfect little O. The stagnant water sloshed over his
  4510. shoulders and ran down his trousers.
  4511. She let go of the bucket and grabbed Brigid's hand. They began to run,
  4512. Lyddie dragging Brigid across the floor. Behind in the darkness, she
  4513. thought she heard the noise of an angry bear crashing an oatmeal pot
  4514. against the furniture.
  4515. She started to laugh. By the time they were at the bottom of the stairs
  4516. she was weak with laughter and her side ached, but she kept running,
  4517. through the empty yard, past the startled gatekeeper, across the bridge,
  4518. and down the row of wide-eyed boardinghouses, dragging a bewildered
  4519. Brigid behind her.
  4520. Chapter 21: Turpitude
  4521. By morning the laughter was long past. She was awake and dressed, pacing
  4522. the narrow corridor between the beds, before the four-thirty bell. Her
  4523. breath caught high in her throat and her blood raced around her body,
  4524. undecided whether to run fire through her veins, searing her despite the
  4525. November chill, or freeze to the icy rivulet of a mountain brook.
  4526. She could not touch her breakfast. The smell of fried codfish turned her
  4527. stomach. But she sat there amidst the chatter and clatter of the meal
  4528. because it was easier to pass the time in the noise of company than in
  4529. the raging silence of her room.
  4530. She was the first at the gate. It wasn't that she was eager for the day
  4531. to begin, but eager for it to be over, for whatever was to happen-and
  4532. she did not doubt that something dreadful must happen-for whatever must
  4533. happen to be in the past.
  4534. She tried not to think of Brigid. She could not take on Brigid's fate as
  4535. well as her own. If only she had not come back up the stairs. Monster!
  4536. Would I have wished to leave that poor child alone? Better to feed
  4537. Rachel and Agnes to the bear. And yet, Brigid was not a helpless child.
  4538. She might have broken loose-stomped his foot or . . . Well, it was too
  4539. late for that. Lyddie /had/ gone back. She had, mercy on her, picked up
  4540. that pail of filthy water and crammed it down on the overseer's neat
  4541. little head. And all she had need to do was speak. When she had called
  4542. his name, he had turned and let Brigid go. But, no, Lyddie could not be
  4543. satisfied. She had taken that pail and rammed it till the man's
  4544. shoulders were almost squeezed up under the tin. The skin on her scalp
  4545. crawled . . .
  4546. Why didn't they open the gate? She was as weary of the scene in her head
  4547. as if she'd actually picked up that heavy bucket and brought it down
  4548. over and over again and run the length of the yard dragging Brigid
  4549. behind her a thousand times over. Laughing. Of course he must have heard
  4550. her. She had howled like a maniac. He must have heard.
  4551. The other operatives were crowded about, jostling her as they all waited
  4552. for the bell. And still, when it rang, she jumped. It was so loud, so
  4553. like an alarm clanging danger. She tried to turn against the tide, to
  4554. get away while there was still time, but she was caught in the
  4555. chattering, laughing trap of factory girls pushing themselves forward
  4556. into the new day. She gave up and allowed the press of bodies around her
  4557. to propel her to the enclosed staircase and up the four flights to the
  4558. weaving room.
  4559. Brigid was not at her looms. Mr. Marsden was not on his high stool. Her
  4560. execution was delayed. She felt relief, which was immediately swallowed
  4561. up in anxiety. She needed it all to be over.
  4562. One of the girls from the Acre approached her. "Brigid says to tell you
  4563. she's feeling a wee bit poorly this morning. You are not to worry."
  4564. The little coward. She's going to let me face it all alone, ey? When I
  4565. was the one risked all to help her.
  4566. The girl glanced back over her shoulder and around the room. She bent
  4567. her face close to Lyddie's neck and whispered. "The truth be told, she
  4568. got word not to report this morning. But she had no wish to alarm you."
  4569. Now Lyddie was truly alarmed without even the slight armor that
  4570. resentment might provide. Would they, then, be punishing Brigid instead
  4571. of her? What sin had Brigid committed? What rule had she ever
  4572. trespassed? And she with a sickly mother and nearly a dozen brothers and
  4573. sisters to care for?
  4574. Mr. Marsden had come in. Lyddie kept her eyes carefully on her looms.
  4575. The room shook and shuddered into life. Lyddie and the Irish girl beyond
  4576. kept Brigid's looms going between them as best they could. She was
  4577. almost busy enough to suppress her fears. And then a young man, the
  4578. agent's clerk in his neat suit and cravat, appeared at her side and
  4579. asked her to come with him to the agent's office. The time had come at
  4580. last. She shut down her own looms and one of Brigid's, and followed the
  4581. clerk down the stairs and out across the yard to the low building that
  4582. housed the counting room and the offices.
  4583. The agent Graves was seated at his huge rolltop desk and did not at once
  4584. turn from his papers and acknowledge her presence. The clerk had only
  4585. taken her as far as the door, so she stood just inside as he closed it
  4586. behind her. She tried to breathe.
  4587. She waited like that, hardly able to get a breath past her Adam's apple,
  4588. until she began to feel quite faint. Would she collapse then in a heap
  4589. on the rug? She studied the pattern, shades of dull browns, starting
  4590. nearly' black in the center and spinning out lighter and lighter to a
  4591. dirty yellow at the outer edge. Dizzy, she stumbled a step forward to
  4592. keep from falling. The man turned in his chair, as though annoyed. He
  4593. was wearing half spectacles and he lowered his massive head and stared
  4594. over them at her.
  4595. "You-you sent for me, sir?" It came out like a hen cackle.
  4596. "Yes?"
  4597. "You sent for me, sir." She was glad to hear her voice grow stronger.
  4598. The man kept staring as though she were a maggot on his dish. "Lydia
  4599. Worthen, sir. You sent for me."
  4600. "Ah, yes, Miss Worthen." He neither stood nor asked her to sit down.
  4601. "Miss Worthen." He gathered the papers he had been working on and tamped
  4602. the bottom of the pile on his desk to neaten it, and then laid the stack
  4603. down on the right side of the desk. Then he scraped his chair around to
  4604. face her more directly. "Miss Worthen. I've had a distressing interview
  4605. with your overseer this morning."
  4606. She couldn't help but wonder how Mr. Marsden had retold last night's
  4607. encounter.
  4608. "It seems," he continued, "it seems you are a troublemaker in the
  4609. weaving room." He was studying her closely now, as closely as he had
  4610. studied his papers before. "A troublemaker," he repeated.
  4611. "I, sir?"
  4612. "Yes. Mr. Marsden fears you are having a bad influence on the other
  4613. girls there."
  4614. So there had been no report of last night. That, at least, seemed clear.
  4615. "I do my work, sir;" Lyddie said, gathering courage. "I have no
  4616. intention of causing trouble on the floor."
  4617. "How long have you been with us, Miss Worthen?"
  4618. "A year, sir. Last April, sir."
  4619. "And how many looms are you tending at this time?"
  4620. "Four, sir."
  4621. "I see. And your wages? On the average?"
  4622. "I make a good wage, sir. Lately it's been three dollars above my
  4623. board."
  4624. "Are you satisfied with these wages, then?"
  4625. "Yes, sir."
  4626. "I see. And the hours?"
  4627. "I'm used to long hours. I manage."
  4628. "I see. And none of this . . ." He waved a massive hand. "None of this
  4629. ten-hour business, eh?"
  4630. "I never signed a petition." I meant to, but no need for you- to know
  4631. it.
  4632. There was a long pause during which the agent took off his spectacles as
  4633. though to see her better. "So," he said finally, "you are not one of
  4634. these female reform girls?"
  4635. "No sir."
  4636. "I see," he said, replacing his spectacles and looking quite as though
  4637. he saw much less than he had a few minutes before. "I see."
  4638. She took a tiny step forward. "May I ask, sir, why I'm being called a
  4639. troublemaker?" She spoke very softly, but the agent heard her.
  4640. "Yes, well-"
  4641. "Maybe ..." Her heart thumped in admiration for her own boldness. "Maybe
  4642. Mr. Marsden could be called, sir? How is it, exactly, that I have
  4643. displeased him?" Her voice went up to soften the request into a
  4644. question.
  4645. "Yes, well ..." He hesitated. "Open the door." And when Lyddie obeyed,
  4646. he called to the clerk to summon Mr. Marsden, then turned again to
  4647. Lyddie. "You may sit down, Miss Worthen," he said, and went back to the
  4648. papers on his desk.
  4649. Though the chair he indicated was narrow and straight, she was grateful
  4650. to sit down at last. The spurt of courage had exhausted her as much as
  4651. her fear had earlier. She was glad, too, to have time to pull her
  4652. rioting thoughts together. But the longer she waited, the greater the
  4653. tumult inside her. So that when the clerk opened the door and Mr.
  4654. Marsden appeared, she could only just keep from jumping up and crying
  4655. out. She pressed her back into the spindles of the chair until she could
  4656. almost feel the print of the wood through to her chest. She kept her
  4657. eyes on the dizzying oval spiral of the rug.
  4658. There was a clearing of the throat and then, "You sent for me, sir?"
  4659. Lyddie nearly laughed aloud. Her exact words, not ten minutes before.
  4660. The superintendent turned in his chair, but again he did not stand or
  4661. offer the visitor a chair. "Miss Worthen here asks to know the charges
  4662. against her."
  4663. Mr. Marsden coughed. Lyddie looked up despite herself. At her glance the
  4664. overseer blinked quickly, then composed himself, his lids hooding his
  4665. little dark eyes, his rosebud mouth tightening to a slit. "This one is a
  4666. troublemaker," he said evenly.
  4667. She leapt to her feet. She couldn't seem to stop herself. "A
  4668. troublemaker? Then what be you, Mr. Marsden? What be you, ey?
  4669. The agent's head went up. His body was spread and his eyes bulged like a
  4670. great toad, poised to spring. "Sit down, Miss Worthen!"
  4671. She sank onto the chair.
  4672. Her outburst had given the overseer the time he needed. He smiled
  4673. slightly as though to say, See? No lady, this one.
  4674. Satisfied that he had stilled her, the agent shifted his gaze from
  4675. Lyddie to her accuser. "A troublemaker, Mr. Marsden?" For a quick moment
  4676. Lyddie hoped-but the man went on. "In what way a troublemaker? Her work
  4677. record seems satisfactory."
  4678. "It is not"-and now Mr. Marsden turned and glared straight at Lyddie,
  4679. all trace of nervousness gone-"it is not her work as such. Indeed," and
  4680. here, he gave a sad little laugh, "I at one time thought of her as one
  4681. of the best on the floor. But"-he turned back to the agent, his voice
  4682. solemn and quiet-"I am forced, sir, to ask for her dismissal. It is a
  4683. matter of moral turpitude."
  4684. Moral what? What was he saying? What was he accusing her of?
  4685. "I see," said the agent, as though all had been explained when nothing,
  4686. nothing had.
  4687. "I cannot," and now the overseer's voice was fairly dripping with the
  4688. honey of regret, "for the sake of all the innocent young women in my
  4689. care, I cannot have among my girls someone who sets an example of
  4690. moral turpitude."
  4691. "Certainly not, Mr. Marsden. The corporation cannot countenance moral
  4692. turpitude."
  4693. She turned unbelieving from one man to the other, but they ignored her.
  4694. She fought for words to counter the drift the interview had taken, but
  4695. what could she say? She did not know what turpitude was. How could she
  4696. deny something she did not even know existed? She knew what moral was.
  4697. But that didn't help. Moral was Amelia's territory of faithful
  4698. attendance at Sabbath worship and prayer meeting and Bible study, and
  4699. she couldn't ask for consideration on those counts. She hardly ever went
  4700. to worship, and Lord knew when she read, it wasn't just the Bible.
  4701. Still, she was no worse than many, was she? At least she was not a
  4702. papist, and no one was condemning them.
  4703. She opened her mouth. They were both looking at her sadly, but sternly.
  4704. In the silence, the battle had been lost.
  4705. "You may ask the clerk for whatever wages are due you, Miss Worthen,"
  4706. the agent said, turning to his desk.
  4707. Mr. Marsden gave his superior's back a nod and tight rosebud smile.
  4708. Did he click his heels? At any rate, he left quickly without another
  4709. glance toward Lyddie.
  4710. "You may go now," the agent said without turning.
  4711. What could she do? She stumbled to her feet and out the door.
  4712. They paid her wages full and just, but there was no certificate of
  4713. honorable discharge from the Concord Corporation, and with no
  4714. certificate, she would never be hired by any other corporation in
  4715. Lowell. She walked out of the tall gate benumbed. She had often
  4716. dreamed of this last day, but in her dream she would be going home in
  4717. triumph, and now there was no triumph and no home to go to even in
  4718. disgrace.
  4719. Chapter 22: Farewell
  4720. The bear had won. It had stolen her home, her family, her work, her good
  4721. name. She had thought she was so strong, so tough, and she had just
  4722. stood there like a day-old lamb and let it gobble her down. She looked
  4723. around the crowded room that had been her home-the two double beds
  4724. squeezed in with less than a foot between them for passage. She thought
  4725. of Betsy sitting cross-legged on the one, bent slightly toward the
  4726. candle, reading aloud while she, Lyddie, lay motionless, lost in Olivers
  4727. world.
  4728. And Amelia. Amelia would know what turp-turpitune, turpentine, whatever
  4729. the wretched word was-Amelia was sure to know what it meant. She could
  4730. see the older girl's eyebrows arch and her lips purse-"But /why/ are you
  4731. asking?" Indeed. So I can know what they charged against me-why I've
  4732. lost my job, why I've been dismissed without a certificate. "You?" Betsy
  4733. would laugh. "Not our Lyddie-Mr. Marsden's best girl." Meanwhile,
  4734. Prudence would be busy explaining the meaning of the cussed word.
  4735. Thank God Rachel was safe. She had a home and food and school. She had a
  4736. mother. And Charlie. I will not cry. She began to pack her things,
  4737. stuffing them unfolded into the tiny gunnysack that had been her only
  4738. luggage when she came. She almost laughed aloud. The sack wouldn't hold
  4739. her extra clothes, much less her books. Well, she was a rich woman now.
  4740. She could afford a proper trunk for her belongings even if she had no
  4741. place to take them.
  4742. "They let me go," she explained to Mrs. Bedlow.
  4743. The landlady was incredulous. "But why?" she asked. "You were Mr.
  4744. Marsden's best girl. Everyone said so."
  4745. Lyddie gave a laugh more like a horse whinny than any human sound. "Then
  4746. everyone is wrong."
  4747. She could not bring herself to describe to Mrs. Bedlow the two
  4748. encounters in the weaving room. She must, somehow, have caused the
  4749. first. She knew so little of the ways of men and women that she must
  4750. have, without realizing, given him some sign. Mr. Marsden was a deacon
  4751. in his church. He was not a likable man, but surely . . . And last
  4752. night. Mercy on her-she'd acted like a crazed beast. Why, even her own
  4753. mother who died in an asylum had never gone wild like that.
  4754. She did not like Mr. Marsden. She had never liked him, but she had tried
  4755. to please him-tried to win his approval by being the best. And though
  4756. she needed to know what it was exactly that he was accusing her of, she
  4757. knew he had not told the agent of those encounters. So, it was something
  4758. else she had done wrong. She would have asked Mrs. Bedlow, but she was
  4759. afraid the word would come out "turpentine" and Mrs. Bedlow would
  4760. laugh. She couldn't bear to be laughed at, not just now.
  4761. "I'll be out of my room by tomorrow-the next day at the latest."
  4762. "But where will you go?" Don't worry for me. I can't stand it if you are
  4763. kind, I might break down.
  4764. "Back to housekeeping, I reckon." That was it. Triphena would be sure to
  4765. take her in.
  4766. She went to the bank and withdrew all her money-243 dollars and 87
  4767. pence. Then she went to the bookstore. She wanted to give Brigid a copy
  4768. of /Oliver Twist/ even if the girl couldn't really read it yet. She'd be
  4769. able to in time.
  4770. "Will there be anything else for you today, Miss Worthen?" They were
  4771. friends now, the bookseller and she. She hesitated, but what did it
  4772. matter? She would never be in again. "Do you have a book that-that tells
  4773. the meanings of words?"
  4774. "Ah," he said, "We have an old Alexander dictionary, of course, and then
  4775. there's Webster's and Worcester's, which are more up-to-date."
  4776. "I think I need a up-to-date one," she said. She didn't want to risk
  4777. buying one that didn't have the one word she needed.
  4778. The bookseller got down two fat books, Parts I and II of /An American
  4779. Dictionary of the English Language/ and then a third. "Many people
  4780. prefer the Worcester," he said, indicating the third book. "It's a bit
  4781. newer. And all in the one volume." Lyddie paid for the Worcester and
  4782. forced herself to take it out of the shop before opening it.
  4783. As soon as she was out of sight of the bookshop window, she rested her
  4784. parcels on the sidewalk and opened the dictionary. It took her some
  4785. time to find the word. The pages were thin and her fingers calloused and
  4786. clumsy, and she did not know the spelling. But she found it at last.
  4787. What? She would have howled in the street had it not been so crowded
  4788. with passersby. She was not a vile or shameful character! She was not
  4789. base or depraved. She was only ignorant, and what was the sin in that?
  4790. He was the evil one to accuse her of such. She had done nothing evil,
  4791. only foolish.
  4792. She rushed back to her room. What could she do? The damage was done. If
  4793. only she had known what was going on when she was in the agent's office,
  4794. how that vile man was lying. Oh, the agent was quick to believe him.
  4795. When I cried out, it was I who was made to seem in the wrong! I was
  4796. unladylike. That was my crime.
  4797. She wrote the letters in a fury, burning herself with sealing wax, her
  4798. hand was shaking so. She rushed out of the house, her bonnet ribbons
  4799. loose, her shawl flying. By the time she got to the Acre she was out of
  4800. breath and could hardly ask the children playing in the streets where
  4801. Brigid's house might be.
  4802. The first child she asked looked up with wide, frightened eyes and ran
  4803. away without speaking. She stood long enough to tie her bonnet properly
  4804. and catch her breath before asking another. He pointed dumbly to a shack
  4805. that turned out not to be Brigid's house at all, but the housewife
  4806. inside knew Brigid and gave Lyddie proper directions.
  4807. Brigid herself answered the door. "Oh Lyddie, what have they done?"
  4808. "I'm dismissed," Lyddie said.
  4809. "No, it cannot be."
  4810. "It can't be helped. It's done. But they must not dismiss you. I've
  4811. already written a letter to Mr. Marsden. I told him if he dismissed you
  4812. or bothered you in any way I would tell his wife exactly what happened
  4813. in the weaving room. Now here is the letter addressed to her. If there
  4814. is any problem you must mail it at once." Brigid stared at her, mouth
  4815. open. "At once. You must swear to me you will." The girl nodded. "And
  4816. now, I'd like to sit down if I could."
  4817. "Oh, I'm terrible rude." Brigid stepped aside and let her into the tiny
  4818. shack. The smell was strong of food and body sweat. It was dark, but
  4819. Lyddie could see children's eyes large and staring. "Me mother's
  4820. housecleaning today." Brigid picked up a pile of what looked like rags,
  4821. but might have been clothing, off a rough stool, and Lyddie sat down
  4822. gratefully. She was still tired from last night. Tired as she had been
  4823. after her sickness, her bones aching with it.
  4824. "Thank you," she said.
  4825. "Where will you be going? Not far from here, I hope."
  4826. "They didn't give me. a certificate, so I have to go."
  4827. "And it's all me fault."
  4828. "No, you musn't blame yourself."
  4829. There was no place else to sit except the beds, so Brigid stood,
  4830. watching her. In the darkness of the room, the only noise was the rustle
  4831. of the children shifting, staring.
  4832. She had stopped gasping for breath. It was time to leave. "I'll be
  4833. going, Brigid. Oh, yes. I nearly forgot." She handed the girl the parcel
  4834. containing Brigid's old primer and /Oliver Twist./ "So you won't forget
  4835. me altogether, ey?" she said, and fled so she wouldn't have to listen to
  4836. Brigid's sobs.
  4837. That evening, just at the closing bell, she made her way down the street
  4838. beyond the boardinghouse row to the trim, frame houses of the overseers
  4839. of the Concord Corporation. She didn't know which house was his, but it
  4840. didn't matter. He would have to come this way. She stood in the shadow
  4841. of the first house and waited.
  4842. There was no mistaking his walk. Like a little bantam rooster, he came,
  4843. all alone. Does he have any friends at all? She shoved the thought
  4844. aside. She mustn't let anything dilute her anger. "Mr. Marsden?" She
  4845. stepped out of the shadow and stood in his path.
  4846. He stopped, alarmed. They were nearly the same height and she stood
  4847. close to his face and spoke with deadly quiet, the long brim of her
  4848. bonnet nearly brushing his cheeks. "Yes, it's me, Lydia Worthen."
  4849. "Miss Worthen." He breathed out her name.
  4850. "I am mean and I am cheap. Sometimes I am a coward and often times I'm
  4851. selfish. I ain't a beauty to look at. But I am not vile, shameful, base,
  4852. or depraved!"
  4853. "Wha-at?"
  4854. "You accused me of moral turpitude, Mr. Marsden. I am here to say I am
  4855. not guilty."
  4856. He stepped backward with a little puff of a gasp.
  4857. "I have here a letter I wrote. I will tell you what it says. It says if
  4858. you cause Brigid MacBride to lose her position I will see that your wife
  4859. is informed about what really happens in the weaving room after hours."
  4860. "My wife?" he whispered.
  4861. "Mrs. Overseer Marsden. I figure she ought to know if there is moral
  4862. turpitude occurring in her husband's weaving room." She jammed the
  4863. letter in the overseer's hand and closed his reluctant fist around it.
  4864. "Good night, Mr. Marsden. I hope you sleep easy-before you die."
  4865. She took a stage to Boston. Hardly anyone did these days. The train was
  4866. so much faster. But she had nowhere to go in such a hurry, and the ride
  4867. gave her time to compose herself. Boston was a terrible place, older
  4868. and even dirtier and more crowded than Lowell. The streets were narrow
  4869. and Lyddie stepped gingerly around the refuse and animal droppings,
  4870. lifting her skirt with one hand and trying to balance her new trunk
  4871. under the other arm. She should have found a safe place to leave it, but
  4872. how did one do that in an unknown city?
  4873. At last she found the address. She looked through a glass- windowed door
  4874. and saw Diana herself, tall and pale, but no longer thin. She was
  4875. speaking to a customer, her head slightly bent toward the short woman, a
  4876. polite smile on her face.
  4877. Lyddie shifted the heavy trunk under her left arm and pushed open the
  4878. door. A bell rang and Diana looked up at the sound. At first she nodded
  4879. politely, her attention still with the chattering customer. Then she
  4880. recognized Lyddie and her face was transformed.
  4881. "Excuse me a moment," she said to the woman, and came over and took the
  4882. trunk. "Lyddie." Her voice was still quiet and beautifully low-pitched.
  4883. "How wonderful to see you."
  4884. There was no time to talk until the customer's order was complete and
  4885. the bell rang, signaling her departure. "How are you, Lyddie?" Diana
  4886. asked.
  4887. "They dismissed me," she said. "For 'moral turpitude.' "
  4888. "For what?" Diana was almost laughing.
  4889. "It means-"
  4890. "I know what it means," Diana said gently. "I'm intimately acquainted
  4891. with the term myself, but you . . . surely-"
  4892. "You are not vile, base, or depraved," Lyddie said.
  4893. "Thank you." Diana tried not to smile, but the corners of her mouth
  4894. betrayed her. "And neither are you. What I can't imagine is how-"
  4895. "It was Mr. Marsden."
  4896. "Ah, yes, dear Mr. Marsden."
  4897. When Lyddie told the whole story, nearly crying again in her rage, she
  4898. realized suddenly that Diana was shaking with laughter.
  4899. "It weren't funny, ey!" she protested.
  4900. "No, no, of course not. I'm sorry. But I'm imagining his face when you
  4901. pounced out at him last night. Just when he thought he'd won-when he'd
  4902. rid himself so neatly of the evidence."
  4903. Lyddie saw the rosebud mouth shaped into an O of fright. It /was/
  4904. satisfying, wasn't it?
  4905. "And his wife is a perfect terror, but you know that-"
  4906. "I didn't think anyone else would believe me against him."
  4907. "Oh, she's a terror, all right. Everyone says so. She's a fright, I
  4908. promise you." She got up and poured them each a cup of tea. "Let's
  4909. celebrate, shall we? Oh Lyddie, it's so good of you to come. How can I
  4910. help you?"
  4911. But she had come to help Diana. "I thought-I thought to help you if I
  4912. could."
  4913. "Thank you, but I'm doing all right, as you can see. It was hard at
  4914. first. No one seemed to want a husbandless woman expecting a child. But
  4915. the proprietress here was ill and desperate for help. So we needed one
  4916. another. It's worked out well. She's been so kind. And her daughter
  4917. will look out for the baby when it comes." She smiled happily. "Like
  4918. family to me." She reached over and patted Lyddie's knee. "But you
  4919. understand."
  4920. Lyddie spent the night with Diana. Everyone was kind. Diana had her
  4921. family at last. Then why had something snapped like a broken warp thread
  4922. inside Lyddie's soul? Wasn't she happy for Diana? Surely, surely she
  4923. was-happy and greatly relieved. "You must write to Brigid and tell her
  4924. you are fine, ey?" Lyddie said as they parted the next morning. "She can
  4925. read now, and she worries."
  4926. It rained all the way through New Hampshire, a steady, wearying drizzle.
  4927. Lyddie rode inside the coach. There was only one other passenger, an old
  4928. man who took no notice of her. She was grateful because she cried most
  4929. of the way. She, tough- as-gristle Lyddie, her face in her handkerchief,
  4930. her head turned toward the shaded window. But the tumult that had raged
  4931. inside her damped down more and more as though beat into the muddy earth
  4932. under the horses' hooves. When they finally crossed the bridge into
  4933. Vermont, the sun came out and turned the leafless trees into silver
  4934. against the deep green of the evergreen on the mountain slopes. The
  4935. air was clean and cold, the sky blue, more like a bright day at winter's
  4936. end than November.
  4937. Chapter 23: Vermont, November 1846
  4938. One more night along the way and the sky had turned into the underside
  4939. of a thick quilt. The coachman pressed the team, eager to get to the
  4940. next stop before the snow began to fall. It was nearly dusk when the
  4941. coach took the final dash around the curve in the road that brought it
  4942. to the door of Cutlers Tavern.
  4943. Nothing had changed except herself. At first Triphena pretended not to
  4944. recognize her at all-"this grand lady come from the city of looms and
  4945. spindles." But soon the game was over, and the old cook gave her a warm
  4946. embrace and drew her to a seat by the giant fireplace.
  4947. "I would've thought you'd have a cook stove by now," Lyddie said half
  4948. teasing, as she looked around the familiar kitchen.
  4949. "Not while I'm cook here," Triphena said fiercely. "I reckon everyone
  4950. has those monstrosities in the city, ey?"
  4951. "They work fine. We had one at the boardinghouse."
  4952. Triphena sniffed. "They'll do, maybe, for those who ain't real cooks."
  4953. She handed Lyddie a cup of her boiled coffee, thick with cream and maple
  4954. sugar. "So you're for a visit home, ey?"
  4955. Lyddie was brought back with a pang to her present state. "I've left
  4956. the factory," she said, "for good."
  4957. "So it's back to the farm, is it?"
  4958. "My uncle sold it."
  4959. "But what of your poor mother and the little ones?"
  4960. "Mama died," Lyddie said. There was no need to tell Triphena where.
  4961. "And baby Agnes as well."
  4962. "Oh, dear," said Triphena softly.
  4963. "So Charlie took Rachel to live with him at the mill. The Phinneys have
  4964. been good to them both. So-" She took a long drink from her coffee. It
  4965. scalded her throat but she shook off the pain of it. "So-for the first
  4966. time, I'm a free woman. Not a care-not a care in the world."
  4967. She paused, not knowing how to say, then, that she wished therefore to
  4968. become once more a housemaid in Mistress Cutler's Tavern. "So-I thought
  4969. to meself-what fun to work with Triphena again."
  4970. The cook threw her head back and laughed. She thinks I'm joking. How to
  4971. explain? How to say I've nowhere else to go?
  4972. And then the girl came in. She was no more than twelve or thirteen,
  4973. dressed in rough calico with ill-fitting boots. Lyddie's heart sank.
  4974. That was the housemaid. There was no room for her at Cutler's Tavern
  4975. anymore.
  4976. As it was, she spent the night in one of the guest rooms, paying full
  4977. price, although Mistress Cutler pretended for a moment that she couldn't
  4978. possibly take payment from an old and valued employee. Lyddie lay awake,
  4979. wondering at the silence outside the window, the only light, the
  4980. cloud-veiled moon. How could you sleep in such a quiet place with no
  4981. rhythm and clatter from the street? Nothing at all to distract your head
  4982. from wondering what on earth you could do, where you could go in a world
  4983. that had no place for you, no need for you at all.
  4984. "Then you're off to see the children today?" said Triphena as she fed
  4985. her breakfast at the great kitchen table. Lyddie was grateful to have
  4986. plans for at least one day. "The snow is no more'n a dusting. I can get
  4987. Henry to take you in the wagon." Henry was Willie's successor.
  4988. Lyddie chose to walk. The day was cold and clear, but her shawl was warm
  4989. and her boots stout and well broken in.
  4990. She was at the mill by mid-morning. Mrs. Phinney greeted her kindly, but
  4991. Charlie and Rachel were gone to school in the village, so she just kept
  4992. walking, her feet taking her up the hill road, past the fields and
  4993. pastures of Quaker Stevens's farm, and on, up and beyond, until she
  4994. rounded the last curve and saw it sitting there, squat and homely
  4995. against the green and silver of the November mountain.
  4996. A tracery of snow lay on the fields and in the yard, but it was not true
  4997. winter yet. In a week or so, everything would be sleeping under a thick
  4998. comforter, but for now, the cabin stood out in all its sturdy homemade
  4999. ugliness. Just like me, she thought, and blinked back tears. It was good
  5000. to be home.
  5001. There was no wood piled against the door. Someone had stacked it neatly
  5002. again in the woodshed. The door itself had been repaired and fit snugly
  5003. now into its frame. She raised her father's wooden latch and pushed it
  5004. open.
  5005. Even at the brightest midday, it was never really light inside the
  5006. cabin. On a November afternoon it was truly dark. She found the flint
  5007. box-no sulfur matches here--and lit the neatly laid tinder and logs. It
  5008. was as though someone had prepared for her coming. She pulled her
  5009. mother's rocker close and stared into the flames. Nothing smelled so
  5010. good or danced so well as a birch fire. It was so full of cheer, so
  5011. welcoming. Lyddie stretched her toes out toward the warmth of it and
  5012. sighed, nearly content. She could almost forget everything. She was home
  5013. where she had longed to be. Perhaps she could just stay the night here.
  5014. No one would care. How could they deny her just one night before she
  5015. left forever?
  5016. "Lyddie?"
  5017. She jumped up. There was the shape of a man, bent over low so as to
  5018. clear the doorway. He stepped into the cabin and straightened tall.
  5019. "Lyddie?" he said again, and she knew him for Luke Stevens. She was more
  5020. angry at the interruption than ashamed to be caught.
  5021. "Lyddie?" he said a third time, "is it thee?" He took off his broad
  5022. Quaker hat and held it over his stomach, squinting a little to see her
  5023. through the darkness.
  5024. "I meant no harm," she said. "I just come to say goodbye." It sounded
  5025. silly as she said it, coming to say good-bye to a cabin.
  5026. "Mother thought she saw thee pass. She sent me to fetch thee for supper
  5027. and to stay the night if thee will,"
  5028. She wished she could ask him just to let her stay here- for this one
  5029. night. But there was no food, and she had no right to use up the
  5030. Stevenses' kindling. She would not be beholden to them more than she
  5031. could help. "I'll just be going back-"
  5032. "Please," he said, "stay with us. The dark comes so quick this time of
  5033. year."
  5034. Her pride fought with her empty belly. But the truth was it had been
  5035. hours since Triphena's breakfast, and the walk back would be long and
  5036. dark and cold. "I've no wish to impose-"
  5037. "Thee must not think so," he said quickly. "It would pleasure our
  5038. mother to have another woman in the house." He smiled shyly. "She often
  5039. complains that none of us boys can seem to find a woman who will have
  5040. us." He came to the fireplace and knelt to separate the logs and put out
  5041. her small fire.
  5042. She was glad his back was to her and there was no chance that he could
  5043. see her face flush red in the shadowy light of the cabin. "About your
  5044. letter . . ." she began.
  5045. He shook his head without turning to her. "It was a foolish hope," he
  5046. said quietly. "I pray thee forgive me."
  5047. They walked side by side down the road, the sun a blazing pumpkin as it
  5048. fell rapidly behind the western mountains. Luke's long legs purposefully
  5049. shortened their stride so that she would not have to skip to keep up.
  5050. For a long time, neither spoke, but as the sun disappeared, and the dusk
  5051. began to gather about them, he set his gaze far down the road ahead and
  5052. asked softly, "Then if thee will not stay, where will thee go?"
  5053. "I'm off . . ." she said, and knew as she spoke what it was she was off
  5054. to. To stare down the bear! The bear that she had thought all these
  5055. years was outside herself, but now, truly, knew was in her own narrow
  5056. spirit. She would stare down all the bears!
  5057. She stopped in the middle of the road, her whole body alight with the
  5058. thrill of it. "I'm off," she said, "to Ohio. There is a college there
  5059. that will take a woman just like a man." The plan grew as she spoke.
  5060. "First I must go tomorrow to say good-bye to Charlie and little Rachel,
  5061. and then I'll take the coach to Concord, and from there"-she took a deep
  5062. breath- "the train. I'll go all the rest of the way by train."
  5063. He watched her face as though trying to read her thoughts, but gave up
  5064. the attempt. "Thee is indeed a wonder, Lyddie Worthen," he said.
  5065. She looked up into his earnest face as he leaned to speak to her and saw
  5066. in his bent shoulders the shade of an old man in a funny broad Quaker
  5067. hat-the gentle old man that he would someday become and that she would
  5068. love.
  5069. Tarnation, Lyddie Worthen! Ain't you learned nothing? Don't you know
  5070. better than to tie yourself to some other living soul? You'd only be
  5071. asking for trouble and grief. Might as well just throw open the cabin
  5072. door full wide and invite that black bear right onto the hearth.
  5073. Still-if he was to wait-
  5074. He was looking right at her, his head cocked, his brown eyes
  5075. questioning. His face was so close she could see a trace of soot on it.
  5076. Like Charlie. The boy could never mess with a fire without getting all
  5077. dirty. She held her hand tightly to her side to keep from reaching up
  5078. and wiping his cheek with her fingers.
  5079. Will you wait, Luke Stevens? It'll be years before I come back to these
  5080. mountains again. I won't come back weak and beaten down and because I
  5081. have nowhere else to go. No, I will not be a slave, even to myself-
  5082. "Do I frighten thee?" he asked gently.
  5083. "Ey?"
  5084. "Thee was staring at me something fierce."
  5085. She began to giggle, as she used to when she and Charlie had been young.
  5086. His solemn face crinkled into lines of puzzlement and then, still not
  5087. understanding, he crumpled into laughter, as though glad to be infected
  5088. by her merriment. He took off his broad hat and ran his big hand through
  5089. his rusty hair. "I will miss thee," he said.
  5090. We can stil hop, Luke Stevens, Lyddie said, but not aloud.
  5091. The End
  5092. About the Author
  5093. Katherine Paterson's books have received wide acclaim and been published
  5094. in eighteen languages. Among her many literary honors are two Newbery
  5095. Medals and two National Book Awards. Her most recent book is The Tale of
  5096. the Mandarin Ducks, illustrated by Leo and Diane Dillon. Lyddie came
  5097. out of her participation in the Women's History Project celebrating
  5098. Vermont's bicentennial in 1991.
  5099. The parents of four children, Mrs. Paterson and her husband live in
  5100. Barre, Vermont.
  5101. BOOKS BY KATHERINE PATERSON
  5102. Come Sing, Jimmy Jo
  5103. Flip-Flop Girl
  5104. Lyddie
  5105. Park's Quest
  5106. Rebels of the Heavenly Kingdom
  5107. The Tale of the Mandarin Ducks
  5108. Special Thanks go to Mary E. Woodruff of the Vermont Women's History
  5109. Project and Dr. Robert M. Brown of the Museum of American Textile
  5110. History, who read this book in manuscript and offered suggestions and
  5111. corrections. Any errors of fact which remain are, of course, my own.
  5112. I must also thank the library staff at the museum for their help and
  5113. patience, Linda Willis at the Mid-State Regional Library of Vermont for
  5114. locating and ordering materials for me, and Donald George of the Dairy
  5115. Division of the Vermont State Agriculture Department for answering my
  5116. questions about cows.
  5117. I cannot list all the "books and publications to which I am indebted,
  5118. but I must mention a few without which I could not have written this
  5119. book:
  5120. Thomas Dublin's Farm to Factory: Women's Letters, 1830- 1860 and Women
  5121. At Work: The Transformation of Work and Community in Lowell,
  5122. Massachusetts, 1826-1860; Hannah Josephson's The Golden Threads: New
  5123. England's Mill Girls and Magnates; David Macaulay's Mill; Abby
  5124. Hemenway's nineteenth century compilation of stories from every
  5125. section of Vermont, Vermont Historical Gazetteer, which includes a story
  5126. of a hungry black bear that was the seed for the bear story in this
  5127. book.
  5128. And the writings of the Lowell mill girls themselves, including Benita
  5129. Eisler, editor, The Lowell Offering: Writings by New England Mill Women
  5130. (1840-45); Factory Tracts published by the Female Labor Reform
  5131. Association as well as Voice of Industry issues from 1845-48; Lucy
  5132. Larcom's A New England Girlhood and An Idyl of Work; and Harriet Hanson
  5133. Robinson's Loom and Spindle or Life Among the Early Mill Girls. '

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