What was once only for the ugly, the old, the fat, and the socially awkward now has its grips on the young, good-looking, and talented portion of the population. I suppose it makes sense when you look at what direction our society has been moving in. The number of women in the work force continues to rise. Technology in general has exploded. Moreover, for people looking to find a soul mate, time is working against them on three different fronts: 1 As we get older, our vision of an ideal mate gets more narrowly defined; 2 As people continue to pair off, the field of eligibles dwindles; and 3 Every day you are fatter, uglier, and balder. And on paper, it makes perfect sense. The chances of meeting one of the truly great ones in real life seems pretty slim. Enter online dating sites and apps, where you can literally sit at home in your underwear and browse for The One. We do hear about success stories from time to time, but why not more? To solve such a mystery, I decided to dive into the belly of the beast, and set up a profile. What actually happened is that , and decided to open up all avenues to fill the fresh, gaping hole in my emotional core. Plus, due to its geographically meaningful initials, if anything were to blossom with someone, we could avoid embarrassment and tell people we met in OKlahoma City. Get a load of this loser. Amid the excitement and stress of perfecting my own profile into something that paints a pretty, yet unique, picture, I have managed to go on a handful of dates. Part of the blame has to go to me, and part of the blame has to go to my dates. But I think there some problems with the entire concept. Here are my scorching hot takes on the matter: · Everyone is the same. But in my experience online, most girls have strikingly similar thoughts on life. I love to laugh too! How crazy is that?!? The amount of women that put up that phrase — seemingly as a way to differentiate themselves — is mind-boggling. So you start picking nits. Views on reality television and pop music are potentially fun debates to have, but instead people tend to gravitate towards people with whom they match with perfectly. Or even more serious subjects like religion. And we are going to talk. Your online exchanges were so funny and had such a nice flow to them. The actual date can end up being more uncomfortable than your sitting position when a flight attendant makes you return your seatback to its upright position. · Okay, so just set up the date for a school night. No one is doing anything fun anyway. But in this case, you both have work tomorrow. So when that ideal conversation fails to materialize, that bag of weed and the Game of Thrones episode on your DVR start to sound pretty amazing. I know I certainly have, once I realized how low-stakes the whole operation is. Curse me and my reasonable judgment! Ultimately, I think relationships are like produce — best developed organically. No one wants to tell their kids, relatives, and friends that they met their significant other on a computer. Or simply meet up at a party. Anywhere that avoids getting completely locked in a two-person bubble. Alcohol makes everything better. Makes it easier for others to find and enjoy. And feel free to reach out to cooties.
