You said your wife first packed out for four months and you couldn't just wait to see how things will turnout, you started going out with another woman. That was a bad move, if you ask me.
Firstly, are your children safe and ok? If yes, I will advise you give your wife some more space. You both need to visit a marriage counsellor and inbetween, go for deliverance. The spirit of adultery has contaminated your home.
Your wife is that kind of woman that want an open marriage, she want to have her cake and eat it too. So, you better be careful the way you sort out things with her.
She's your wife but if she is endangering your life, I will suggest you let her go. But, make sure your kids are safe and ok, make them your first priority.
Stop complaining about her not helping out with the financial responsibilities of the house, that is your duty.
