I'm way over 18. Mom was friendly and in anon with my best friend's mom, she knew my friend very well from tons of sleep overs, so she understood that we weren't bad influences on each other. I knew if I ever did make the wrong decision, they would be there to help me pick up the pieces. I north discovered he and his girlfriend had sex in our house when I was out. I have tried to instill in her to make good choices. Keep telling her you love her. She's a great girl and I am her father figure, after all she prime me. Right from the start. Short of sitting up all night every night, or putting bars across the window, what could my friend do. Just because you have the knowledge that they are having sex does not reduce their value. As a pastor u with families in these types of situations, whenever I have seen families take a heavy-handed approach, it has always made things worse and not better.
As a mother, she wanted to know more. Do you mean they made out? Did they have sex? Except maybe they did want to talk about it. After all, they brought up the subject in the car. The mother-daughter sex talk is rarely straightforward. Your daughter already has some ideas about sex, for better or worse. This article offers tips on how moms can help their daughters when it comes to sex, peer pressure, and dating. The Talk is a lifelong conversation, says Kantor. If you have mixed feelings about your past or current sex life, do your best to come to terms with that before you talk to your daughter. Your best intentions will fall flat if you come across as upset, afraid, or downright angry when you talk about sex. You might think sex is OK after a certain age, or in the context of a loving, committed relationship. Share your values, and then give your daughter room to explore her feelings. The best conversation is one that makes your daughter feel she can talk to you about anything. Prepare Your Daughter for Peer Pressure Peer pressure comes in many forms. It could be a boy in the back seat of a car. It could be kids at school. If she believes that everyone else is having sex, she may push herself, as well as her boyfriend, to move too far and too fast. You can use facts to dispel the myth. For instance, less than half of high school students report having ever had sexual intercourse. And only 13% of teens report having sex before the age of 15. She might be relieved that she can use you as an excuse for saying no. Agree with her, says Cohen. Maybe you can help me. Treat Dating as a Learning Experience Girls start dating for a lot of reasons. Dating can provide someone to go to the movies with. Girls who can change her Facebook status to in a relationship may feel a rise in social status. On a deeper level, dating gives kids a chance to learn about relationships. As a parent, this is one of those opportunities to help your daughter learn through experience. You can promote this. Talk to your daughter about her feelings. Remind her that both she and the object of her affection are young. With a good dose of mutual respect and communication, they can learn about romance together. If Your Daughter is Sexually Active, Stay Involved A lot of parents make the mistake of walking away when they realize their daughter is having sex. Ask if she is using condoms or birth control. If not, bring her to a doctor who can talk with her about protecting herself from unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease. On the emotional side, your daughter is still your daughter, despite her adult behavior. Ask her about the boy. Do they treat each other with love and respect? How has having sex affected the relationship? Continued A Lifelong Conversation Even though her mother never had The Talk with her, Kaufman felt it was her obligation to talk with her daughters about sex, dating, and peer pressure. Sex and dating are still awkward subjects but the conversation continues. SOURCES: Claudia Kaufman, mother of two daughters. Levin DE, Kilbourne J. So sexy so soon: The new sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Ilana Amrani-Cohen, LICSW, PhD. Deak J, Barker T. Girls will be girls: Raising confident and courageous daughters. Myths and Facts About Sex. Your adolescent: Emotional, behavioral, and cognitive development from early adolescence through the teen years.
