‘To the Bone’ Opens Frank Dialogue on Eating Disorders: ‘They Steal Your Voice’
When Marti Noxon set out to make “To the Bone,” a film about a 20-year-old battling an eating disorder, she initially faced the question: Was the topic too niche?
The answer came in the form of a rousing premiere in January at the Sundance Film Festival, Netflix’s reported $8 million purchase of the film, a trailer that went viral with 54 million views in the first week and arguments over whether it glamorized excessive thinness. The film debuted on Netflix on Friday.
The film is loosely based on Ms. Noxon’s experience with an eating disorder. She and its star, Lily Collins, are among the 30 million Americans — a third of them men — who have struggled with one. Ms. Collins plays Ellen, an anorexia patient who enters her fifth eating disorder treatment center, an unorthodox group home run by a doctor played by Keanu Reeves.
Many of those reacting to the film’s trailer worried that watching it could trigger unhealthy thoughts in viewers who may be prone to eating disorders or already struggling with them. Indeed, some experts said that people who have had eating disorders should consider the state of their health before watching the film.
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“If you don’t feel solid in your recovery, don’t watch it right now. It could be triggering at any part of your life if you aren’t feeling strong and solid in your recovery,” Dr. Dena Cabera, executive clinical director at Rosewood Centers for Eating Disorders said. “It will always be there; you can look it up later.”
Others say the film may help spur action. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder, and can affect individuals across every demographic.
“If the film helps raise awareness and more people seek treatment, that would be a success that we can be pleased with,” Dr. S. Bryn Austin, a professor at Boston Children’s Hospital and Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, said. “Eating disorders can be successfully treated, they just need to take the first step in reaching out for care.”
If you watch the film and recognize that a friend or family member exhibits some of the same behavior as the characters, Dr. Austin recommends approaching the discussion “with care and love, not judgment,” and avoiding comments on weight or appearance. Professionals at eating disorder clinics around the United States recommend broaching the topic as soon as you identify concerning patterns.
“It’s painful for people to reflect on the past and see that they knew people were watching them and knew something was wrong but they were too scared to approach them,” said Bonnie Brennan, senior clinical director of adult services at Eating Recovery Center in Denver. “I’d rather the person be mad at me for getting it wrong than to risk not saying anything and they have a life-threatening illness,” she said.
“I would caution parents: You need to watch this film with your child, get educated yourself and be aware that this is one story,” Dr. Cabera said, noting the diversity and complexity of different cases of eating disorders.
The New York Times asked readers to share their experiences with eating disorders. In less than 48 hours, we received more than 1,200 responses. Some described daily struggles, other celebrated full recoveries, and many spoke of their hopes of helping others by sharing their stories.
Here are some of their responses, edited and condensed. Some readers who submitted comments requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the subject.
“She tried to explain how hard it was”
Anonymous, 42, Texas
As a parent, it was like being thrust back to the infancy stage in so many ways but with a heightened level of fear that you were failing at a parent’s primary responsibility — to keep your child alive. All the research, therapy, family therapy, doctors’ appointments, meal prep, and meal lessons (which was like having a second job) didn’t seem to matter. Because in the end, the difference between infancy and her being sick was one crucial factor — her own agency ... she had to want to fight, too. Fight with all her will everyday, every hour, every moment for success to happen. It’s a bitter lesson as a parent.
Lisa Gorove, 56, Virginia
Ms. Gorove’s daughter, Caitlin Piper Gorove-Funk, died in 2016 after battling anorexia nervosa for 10 years. “It’s an issue of an illness and a voice, it’s not a choice. That voice took a while to explain to other people, that Caitlin wasn’t doing this because she wanted to, it was that something had taken over. Her mind was consumed by the disease. She tried to explain how hard it was.”
“I held her and she died in my arms. I told her over and over and over again how much everybody loved her and that she could go. We did not have a funeral, we had a service that was beautiful on many levels. After her service, four people voluntarily went back to treatment.”
If parents recognize any behaviors portrayed in “To the Bone,” Ms. Gorove said: “I would say immediately seek help. Don’t stop, don’t pass go, go to a doctor who knows eating disorders.”
