Listen up: Russian girls are where it's at. I've never known a man or woman walk out of a relationship with one of us — no matter how brief, torturous, or complicated — and say that they regretted it. And that's because we're awesome. We're not afraid to call you out on... Sure, we're also tragically beautiful and flawless and we've got excellent taste in fashion and art and basically everything else , but we're also smart, both book-wise and street-wise. OK, I'm being faux-cocky here for effect, but honestly, looking at it now, most of what I wrote is true. I would just never actually say those things out loud and mean them because that's one thing Russian girls are not: overly braggy, annoying people. For the most part, they marry humans they genuinely like, which brings me to my next point: You should absolutely consider yourself very lucky if you ever have the chance to chill with a girl. More likely than not, she's fierce, fearless, and essentially your dream girl that is, if you're into strong women who challenge the patriarchal system and aren't afraid of wearing a little bit of pleather. Here are some more reasons why you should definitely aim to date a Russian girl: 1. Her smuggled collection of Russian pop music Britney Spears? You haven't experienced music until you've experienced Russian pop music, which is designed to comfortably lodge itself in the crevices of your brain until the end of time. Every Russian girl has a pile of burned CDs she's gotten in the mail from her second cousin who lives in Moscow, and she will not hesitate to bust them out in the car. Chances are, she probably also knows the best place to get a plate of Golubtsy stuffed cabbage rolls and a slice of Medovik torte YAASSSSS. She's got grit Just don't expect her to let anyone walk all over her. Even if she just suspects you're doubting her, or you've dissed her in the slightest, she'll tell you what's what. Sometimes this comes off as aggressive, but you should know that she's been raised to question authority and probably mistrust just about everything and everyone KGB holdovers, sorry. She's a survivor through and through, and probably the best person to weather a mosh pit with. She's refreshingly straightforward Russian gals don't flirt around any issue, problem, or disagreement, because they don't have time to tiptoe. And time is money. And money is those Louboutin shoes she saw at Nordstrom the other day, so move along please. If you piss us off, don't be surprised if we yell. It might be uncouth, but it's also 99. But we know how to have a good time, and we know how to entertain. The thing that our Russian-ness makes us all have in common? However we personally like to have fun, and personally like to entertain, we're amazing at it. Her fashion sense is on point There is no such thing as a frumpy Russian lady. Not to be vain or anything OK, maybe a little bit , but clothes are a pretty integral part of who we are. The way we dress ourselves is an important form of self-expression, and we take that self-expression very seriously. The Russians and just try to find another writer besides Nabokov who can seamlessly craft a grammatically sound sentence that is over a page in length? OK, fine, William Faulkner is a pretty dope wordsmith too. Fine, America, you can have that. A Russian girl is raised to think and act and live independently. And a tireless hustler.
