We moved from Seattle to Cuba when our three-year-old daughter, Alma, was a few months old. Our son, Nicolas, is one year old, and our family now includes three dogs and a turtle. One dog and the turtle are native Cubans! Our house is in a quiet residential neighborhood called Miramar. We love the people and the culture here, despite the challenges of living in a Communist country. We hope to stay for a few more years, and I recently started selling items handmade by local artisans. We needed to repair the plumbing, fix the floors and paint to make it habitable. The other day I needed a few screws, but three different hardware stores were completely out of them. You learn to make do and you realize you need less than you think. In Cuba, diapers are hard to find, poor quality and too expensive for the average Cuban at about a dollar each. Mothers reuse them by taking out the stuffing, washing the outside cover and refilling them with cotton. Also, washing machines are rare. You can see or smell the ocean wherever you go. The city is surrounded by a long seawall and promenade called El Malecón. This the heart and soul of Havana. During the day, people fish, do calisthenics and throw Santería offerings into the ocean. We love to take a walk there at night, when large crowds of people gather to enjoy the sunset and the breeze. Everything pulses with life — lots of young Cubans sharing bottles of rum, making out, playing music or just escaping from the heat. On the Cuban temperament: This is a wonderfully friendly place. People delight in the opportunity to chat about music or current events, and maybe one of the reasons is that the Cuban population overall is highly educated — the government has made education free and mandatory — but because of the difficult economic situation, it is not uncommon to find a doctor or engineer driving a taxi, where they have more access to valuable tourist dollars. People often hold back a little until you become better friends. For decades, the Cuban government has blamed many of its economic problems on U. But, at the same time, Cubans passionately follow American sports and music, and almost every Cuban I know has family that lives in the U. So, our experience has been that Cubans show genuine warmth to Americans. On fashion: Cuban fashion is a spectacular hodgepodge of government-supplied clothes, black-market items brought in from other Latin American countries and hand-me-downs. Many people get their style sense from American movies and music videos shown on state TV. Even traffic police wear uniforms that are two sizes too small! On medical care: The healthcare system here is amazing for such a poor country. Because of the wide availability of medical care, Cubans are so comfortable with doctors and medicine that people will freely talk about intimate medical information with anyone. In my experience, the hospitals sometimes lack basic equipment or materials. Instead, they improvised by putting a simple glass tube in his mouth. On the rarity of children: For decades, Cuba has had an extremely low birth rate compared to most other countries. This is a complicated issue involving many social and economic factors, but the result is that children are idolized. On feeding babies: Women are encouraged to breastfeed in Cuba. But compared to the U. I feel for the moms who have a hard time breastfeeding. Also, its common for doctors here to tell moms to give an infant watered down root vegetable purées in addition to breast milk to make sure they gain weight, which surprised me. When babies are ready for solids, Cubans feed them malanga, a starchy tuber that looks and tastes like a cross between a potato and a yucca. When Alma began eating food, we tried to feed her malanga, but she refused. It was the height of the summer and there where few other vegetables available for her to try besides pumpkin. Luckily, she loved that, but she had so much pumpkin that summer she literally turned orange from all the bete-carotene and we took her to the pediatrician before we figured out what it was! On food: Cubans tend to skip breakfast and have a cafecito, which is like a small shot of very sugary espresso. In our house, we still do an American-style breakfast. The rest of the day, Cuban cuisine is all about rice, black beans and pork or fish, as well as local crops like yucca or plantains. The government provides subsidized food to the population via ration cards, which Cubans use to shop at local bodegas. So, we get the best mangoes during mango season, but once it is over, unless we freeze them, there are no more. On improvising in the kitchen: We often have to be resourceful and adjust our cooking plans around what we can get. Last year on Thanksgiving, my father-in-law and I spent hours driving around trying to find potatoes, which are a black market item. We were like potato junkies trying to get our fix of mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving! In many Cuban homes, food was seasoned simply, with just salt, onion, garlic or oranges. But, recently, more elaborate cooking has come back in paladares, which are family-owned restaurants serving traditional dishes. We love taking the kids out to eat fresh tuna and octopus, along with superb pork dishes. Patrick and I met 17 years ago at a well-known paladar called , when we were both here for the summer in our 20s. Back then, there were very few private restaurants, and by law they could only seat 12 people. Today there are many family-run places that look and feel more like restaurants. We have our favorites that we always go back to. La Guarida now seats over 50 people and has a cool rooftop bar and cigar lounge that feels like Miami. On the love of sugar: Cubans seem to regard sugar as its own food group! In fact, on Cuban TV, health experts often talk about sugar as a good source of nutrition and energy. On safety: This is a police state on an island. If you commit a crime, you are more than likely going to get caught! Also, there are few to no guns. Everyone in our neighborhood knows our kids by names and we stop to chat on the street. All kids, including ours, play outside with little supervision. On cars: The variety of vintage cars in Cuba is mesmerizing. The first year we lived here, before getting our own car, I got around using almendrones, which are old cars from the 1950s that have been reconfigured with new engines and drive specific routes as taxis. Everyone and everything that can fit squeezes in, and for about 50 cents you ride along with other passengers, until you get close to your destination then you ask the driver to stop, usually yelling over loud reggaeton music Spanish reggae. A significant difference between kid culture in the U. That means that unlike kids in the U. They find totally different ways to amuse themselves. Often, I see a group of kids sharing a makeshift car toy pulled by a string, a papier-mâché doll or a ball. Playtime is simple, but certainly no less fun. Moms usually use strollers or cribs handed down from relatives and fixed up over and over. There are usually few public decorations around the holidays, which I miss. But, Cuba is hardly a nation without celebrations. New Years involves feasts and rum. Everyone cleans their house on New Years day and throws the cleaning water onto the street to rid their homes of bad vibes. There is something truly magical and vibrant about Cuba. Thank you so much, Alexandra! The full series, featuring 18 other moms living abroad… All photos courtesy of and. August 31, 2015 2:50pm Thank you for sharing this insightful article! He never assimilated to American living. A lot mentioned here is exactly how my father lives today. He makes due with less, expects the government to subsidize living expenses ha! I used to think that his ideals were just about sheer laziness and passive living how American of me! I realize now that its culture, not laziness, that makes him who he is. Thanks again for sharing! This all sounds so rosy but really the struggles Cuban people go through is very trajic. What happens when a mother cannot breastfeed and there is no access to formula or milk? Washing disposable diapers if you can get them is unimaginable and there are no cloth diapers. I was in Cuba last December and I left feeling very sad for these wonderful people. I was very happy to find this piece as I am a Brit, living with my Cuban finance in Havana. We are planning to raise our child, due the end of this year, in Cuba but even though I know the island well, being a first-time-Mum so far from home will surely have its challenges. Great to read your comments! Hi I wanted to get more information if you can I am from the States s. One of my sons has asthma do you think anyone will take his nebulizer machine when I get in through the airport there? Also my concern is the water,did you take a water filter to use in your home there for clean water? I would be visiting habana for the most part. Thank you any advice would be extremely helpful. And I look forward in visiting your shop I love the items. We have talked about moving there for various reasons, one is for our son to enjoy what we feel would be a healthier childhood lifestyle. But this is a great story, and well lets see if we go or stay. Good description, for a beginner resident in Havana. It is remarkable in its wording great intelligence and cultural and academic preparation. I wish you much success and good luck in your mission. I wish that the skies remain with you all the time. But do not forget to take care of you too, especially children. Children are generally very ones in Cuba, but everywhere as they require special care. Loved this and such gorgeous photos! So many things reminded me of life in Shanghai, like the idolization of children would love to know more about why the low birth rate in Cuba, is it the law as well? Thank you all for this series: Such a fascinating read! It sounds weird, but while I knew Cuba as a communist country, I never thought about what that really meant for Cubans in everyday terms: waiting in line for goods, coupons for staple items, and even washing out disposable diapers. Thanks for giving us a window into another culture and way of living! PS — the amazing fashion sense made me think of Freetown Fashpack, have you seen it? Perhaps future series can include more of this. I actually would love to read articles from the point of view of working people kids or no kids : most of your interviews are made with stay at home moms or sometimes women with very baby-compatible jobs , and I think we would learn a lot of things about society by talking about working habits as well… Also, speaking to expat moms of working dads just reinforces the stereotype of women stopping everything and following their husbands, and never the other wat around, and this makes me sad! I visited there on holiday 3 years ago not American, so I can do these things and it was one of the best experiences of my life. We flew from Canada, and flying over Miami and then Havana at night — you see a huge contrast. Miami was completely lit up, whereas Havana only had patchy lighting and while there, the old city was without electricity for a week. Everyone looks out for each other e. Without a thought, the owner gave him some for free — such a simple but sweet gesture. To thank us, they invited us to their brothers restaurant, gave us amazing coffee the coffee bush was right next to where I was sat and juice, and for the rest of our time in that town they looked after us, arranged outings — generally made sure we were treated well. I would love LOVE to go back. My friend was born and raised in Cuba. She raised her only son there before moving to the US. She once told me that it was common to give your child a bottle of coffee. I thought that was so interesting because here in the US, we think of coffee as an adult drink. Cubans had it very, very difficult. At the time Cuban children received special diet supplements and guarantees from the government, while the majority did without until new trade relationships were formed and all of this while the country still had the U. This is my favorite in the series. My husband and I went to Cuba in 2012 experienced so many emotions. There are actually a few questions I had which are answered here — including the diapers! And yes, paladares are the best bet for food. Everywhere is overpriced and to be frank, just not very good. I admire raising two kids in Havana. Cuba is a complex combination of extreme beauty and resilience. Thank you for sharing, Alexandra! Another great piece in this wonderful series! This one is particularly meaningful because my mother grew up in Havana. Even though I was raised here in the U. It is significantly less about parenting and far more about just living in a different country. Still very enjoyable and interesting really, I did enjoy reading about life in Cuba but not really about motherhood, parenthood or children. Fascinating read, with beautiful photographs. My husband is Canadian, and when I lived there, so many of my friends would travel to Cuba for holidays. XX Analog House Very interesting to read. Cubans have a hard time getting permits to do it. I guess that gives a romantic twist on living in Cuba. Being a Cuban in Cuba must be very hard. Things that he was not allowed to have access to. Like I said, pretty serious stuff. Alina I was so happy to open Cup of Jo today and see a new motherhood series. I am engaged, getting married in a month, and these series have been eye-opening for me. I may not be planning to start a family just yet, but my fiance and I have been discussing the option of working abroad with his company for a few years. This series has been an immensely helpful resource to truly understand what it would be like to immerse yourself in the culture of a new country, but also what it would be like if we decided to start a family there. I absolutely love this entire series and I believe this would make a fascinating book. Love your blog — a wonderful start to my day here! Your writing brought me back to my childhood … Former Yugoslavia of the fifties and the sixties …. It seems to be common for all the former communist countries. With almost nothing and be satisfied with. However I am happy that my children had a different childhood. But they know about my childhood, too. And I learned them how to evaluate good and bad, to respect what they have. Respect other people and the nation. And how does one become a good human being. Communism is no more around me and I like it and my children too. As a Miamian, I hear stories all the time from Cuban immigrants about these unfortunate circumstances. I love speaking to Cuban, South and Central American friends and acquaintances that have settled in Miami about American politics. I feel they have a perspective so important to Americans, who have not experienced a lack of freedom, but slowly vote towards taking those freedoms away. I host a diaper drive every December — last year we gathered 2,500 diapers. But this post has me wondering if there is a practical way to get diapers to Cuba! With my first child I used cloth diapers and they were wonderful but when my daughter arrived on the scene I quickly had to prioritize my time caring for her and chasing after my son and soon switched to disposable. The thought of having to refill the cotton with questionable material. Please advise if anyone knows of a way to get our Cuban mama-sisters some diapers! Felicity, what a wonderful thought! However, I was just in Cuba in April and was asking about shipping things back to Cuba when I returned home. I am dying to go to Havana.. Its been a dream of mine for about 7 years now. I was so excited when they opened the flights up so Americans can go. I am hoping to go within the next year. I have lived in a few latin american countries and tampons were hard to come by TMI? Lovely, and would love to see this series continue forever and forever beyond summer! I think that any sense of freedom or joy comes with knowing that her children will be able to move back to the US in a few years and be free to make their life whatever they want it to be. If I were a Cuban mother, my sense would be oppression and hopelessness. Great, my beautiful smart kid could train to be a doctor for free but would end up driving a taxi for money to buy government clothes that are two sizes too small. Maybe hence the low birth rate… Cuba linda! Infinite love for Cuba! Great piece, and great series! Although I also disagree about kids in Cuba not knowing what the internet is, it IS a great thing to see kids playing on the streets in Cuba. And in general in Latin America. I remember growing up in Europe and playing outside with other kids, unsupervised. Nowadays, in North America, parents are charged with parental neglect for letting kids walk home alone from school. To me, that is madness! I know what you mean! I grew up in Finland and we used to play around as kids without parents supervising. This feels very shocking to me. Does anyone know how it is to get married in Cuba? For some reason I have this dream. Also my boyfriend is Brazilian and we live in Australia so cube would be a nice get together point for our families. I pretty much love all the parenting around the world articles, but this one has to be my favorite by far. I was born in Cuba and came to the U. My favorite part was the part about trying to find potatoes for Thanksgiving. It sounds like something that would totally happen. And it also depends on what part of the island they are from. Havana is a lot different than most of the other provinces. Overall I think this article was pretty spot on. I really enjoyed it! The country and people are so beautiful, and I love hearing stories about their history, in particular the Cuban Revolution. After the revolution, Castro built roads and schools, made education even university education! I feel much more safe walking around a city in Cuba than the average American city. True, they may have limited supplies, however, the accessibility of their health care, and the knowledge of their health care personnel are recognized as among the best given their resources. My family and I have had to receive some medical care while there on one trip and we were impressed as to the level of care we received, with no doubts that we were in competent hands. They may lack what we have in terms of certain conveniences but there is a quality of life enjoyed there that loads of vulnerable people may not be able to access in a more wealthier countries. Slowly but surely Cuba is making tech. I am Cuban, first generation American, and this was a fascinating read.
