I'm a 24yr old graduate and the issue is my father. He is the most difficult man to get along with in the world. Since I was born, I have constantly been walking on eggshells around this man as any little thing is potential trouble.
My parents have been separated since I was a year old and my dad hates my mother. This hatred he transfers to me and my siblings because he thinks we love her too much.
My father is controlling, malicious and with an extremely unbridled tongue. We've been in and out of fights for years during which he'll cut me off financially and otherwise. Last year he was angry I couldn't travel with him for an event he was being honored at.
Honestly, at all such events, I usually go with him even if no other person can. This time around however, I was sick and on admission in the hospital 3 days before the event. I told him and he didn't come see me in the hospital, pay any bills or even ask what was wrong. Instead, he didn't speak to me for a year (we were living in the same house o), didn't give me a penny, didn't respond to my greetings, his wife stopped giving me food and hid all the foodstuff from me, he stopped paying my school fees, he basically cut me off and did everything to make sure I was miserable.
I had my final exams around this period so suffice to say it was hell for me. I apologized severally but he continued to ignore me.
The issue now is my boyfriend proposed to me, and I'll love nothing more than to marry this amazing man, who has been there for me every time my father abandoned me.
This man gives me peace of mind like I never thought existed. I told my dad and he said he wasn't good enough for me (bae is a focused young medical doctor who keeps advancing in his career by the day) neither was I mature enough (he hardly sees anything good in any of his children) so I should wait for a couple of years before I think of marriage.
I see this as another ploy to control my life for his own selfish reasons and keep me in his house to continue to make my life miserable. I know him and he makes everything more difficult than should be.
I'm considering going ahead with the wedding without his consent, doing a court ceremony and just moving on with my life, but the society we live in makes one re-think. Any suggestions on how to proceed? Note that I'm not desperate for marriage, but we've dated for two years and are deeply in love.
