But I DO help men by helping women who are dating after 40. It really is ALL about you, ladies! One of the most transformational ways I support women is by helping you better understand GROWNUP men. The vast majority of these guys are not the self-centered, testosterone-led, immature boys you met and maybe married in your 20s or 30s. The only way you can empathize is to know their side of the story. Here are some of their stories of dating after 40; dating that never turned into relationships, this is. Below are the common types of women single grownup men have told me about. I call them Femitypes. Read the general description of each here, or start reading more about each Femitype, starting with The Princess —. The Princess is confident, well put together, and very attractive. She easily lures in men. He needs to make all the right moves. By default, she clings to the same type of guy she wanted in high school or college. See the Wow Me Woman below. The nice, relationship-minded men get quickly discarded by the 18-year-old. When he passes those tests or shows he has feelings for her, she questions it and might up the ante. She picks fights, picks the wrong guys, or maneuvers relationships to end because it gives her control. The wall she has erected is just too high for him to climb in order to get to the other side. The Wow Me Woman is a midlife gal who still thinks that excitement is the key to judging if a guy is a good match. The Wow Me Woman leaves many good men in her dust. Men sense her quick judgment, which leaves them feeling deflated, unattractive and powerless. The Wow Me Woman is often single for a very, very long time. The Bitter Gal is angry — usually about everything, but especially about men. A guy never has a chance, even he is the nicest guy in the world and really likes her. The truth is that The Bitter Gal has been playing the victim for most if not all of her life. Though a nice guy might try to break through and prove her wrong about men, he will give up out of exhaustion. The Sexpot is all about putting out the sex vibe. She believes her sexuality is the only way she can attract a man, or she wants this point in her life to be a series of sexual experiences. She posts a provocative picture on her online dating profile, invites him over to her house on the first date, shows too much skin especially for a woman over 40 , and is overly familiar with her affection. Men who are looking just for sex will say yes. They are men, after all. You know that dating after 40 or at any stage of life, for that matter! When you appreciate the same is true for the men you date, it will go a long way toward building compassion and, in turn, building relationships. Oh, and girlfriend, you can learn a TON from the comments men have left below! And, hey…I want to know what you think! Do you see yourself in any of these? And men, I SO want to hear from you! Agree or disagree, we can learn from you. Disabled law officer, but still working. No debt, kids are grown and life is good. I stay in shape physically and am very active. I believe in shivelry and taking care of each other. I worked all the time to keep women off my mind. Went on 1 date in 2017. Just recently joined a dating app. Had 4 great dates with a wonderful lady. We were both in awe over the connection. We laughed with each other more than I ever had! Then She said she had to take a step back. It was like some one threw a switch. I really like her! It felt really nice. On a different topic, the dating site I found many ladies are looking for some one to make them happy. I believe you have to be happy with yourself first! Not rely on others or things to make us happy… It took me awhile to realize this for myself. Now I am thankful every day! Food is the only love I get most days. We just want a grown-up conversation and maybe a kiss stolen in the driveway before the dog wakes everyone up with his hysterical barking. Planning a date night is a like a logistical military operation, but worth it. Right now we would be thrilled just to go out occasionally. Now they knew from the beginning that I was born this way because I inherited it from my family. I apologize if I was off course in this article. I will say that women can be Intimidating not only with their words, but also their looks. Also, like I told them, keep working on learning and growing so you can become the very best partner you can be to attract the very best love. That includes working on your sense of self love and knowing that you deserve to love and be loved. Again, thank you for your service. Interesting article, and it is giving me hope. We have been married 12 years and together 15 years. Everything was great until that bombshell. I hope there is someone out there who will be understanding and patient with that because I will obviously stand by and give a lot of support through a lot of stuff. I am so sorry for your situation but I admire you tremendously for standing by her and your family…for now. I can only imagine the complexities. Stay here and keep learning. I hope I can help make this experience less stressful and, ultimately more joyful. Take Care of Yourself first! Not just weight but common grounds, I like being active. Granted, there is a reality that people of like appearance tend to gravitate toward one another. But appearance is very subjective. Lots of people are attracted to different looking people. Food is the only love I get most days. You are on top of the world because you can do no wrong in her eyes and you worship her because she is too good to be true. Everything is perfect — everything. You two are soulmates for life. Until she gets mad. And then she hits, kicks, throws things, says terrible things and it is clear you two split up for good and you leave. But then she comes back, and is confused why you left because of that little fight. Its ok and we try again. And the fights get more aggressive. It happens, more than you think. We were young, 19, when we got married. We were both in the military and had a lot of goals in common—we had a blast together. Today, we are completely different people and it seems like we just keep growing farther apart. Everyone asks me all the time why I left, but he just changed. He became obsessed with success and superficial things, he was never like that before. Okay, that part was kinda funny because he only changed the lock on the front door. The other thing we do is we start to set expectations and tests that are unspkoken. Self examination of past relationships and looking for the red flags we just passed right by because we were ultimately afraid of being alone can help in knowing why we made the choices we made even if we were quote unquote the victims of there behavior. And lastly unconditional love which is what men and women are looking for is a big task. That means accepting that person for exactly who they are and loving every bit of them flaws and all, not accepting unacceptable behavior but stretching yourself to seek them right where there at and meeting them there. Unresolved issues of our past are the biggest barriers to long term relationships. Whether you or I want to hear it or believe it water seeks its own level if we want attract better mates we have to grow for ourselves not for anyone else. I miss that companion cooking with me, going for walks, watching movies and doing gardening together. Aparantly this puts men off. No life cover from hubby was paid out, but I can look after myself. Just want that one guy that sees me for me and not a gold digger or nymphomaniac.. Loneliness is a killer! The only thing I know for a fact about mature men is that they want either a submissive, Donna Reed housewife type, or an independently wealthy, just-want-someone-to-globetrot with type. Does this make me a scaredy cat of an 18 yr old princess? Probably, I have no idea. What you learned way back is BULLSHIT. If you are kind, compassionate, affectionate, have some passion in life…you are exactly the kind of women men want. Take some more time to read what I teach, share, and advise here. I guarantee that if you do, and you implement what you learn, things will change for you. It may be a little scary, but you can change your life! Here is help for you: My Big hugs. An uneducated person is fully capable of meeting their partners emotional needs! Maybe the folks on here should date each other. I too have found it extremely difficult to find someone to spend time with after reaching 40. I have three children almost grown. Some of us have taken time to figure out who we are and what we want out of life. Sure, there are some men who want younger women; especially if they want to have kids. The truth is that statistically, men marry women within 5 years of their age. I want to let you know that if this is your experience you may want to look at how you might change things up a little. Maybe express yourself differently online and off. There are SO many men looking for women like you. In fact when you read the comments from men here they are telling you that. So im 2all most 3 yrs single and no dating.. The last one just ended after dating for 3 years. I dated a man for 6 years and another for 6 months. They just want to date. Do some soul searching. What do the men say the reasons are for ending the relationship? Was happily married for 18 years now sin
