[consensual] [penectomy] [cuckoldry]
My first and one true love and how it all went wrong.
Strictly Girls Only
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by ShamefulDesire (27/8/22)
I first met Stella when she was 7. That's okay, because I was also 7 at the time. It was our first day at a new school. My name is Simon and as our names were alphabetically next to each other on the teacher's register, we were sat next to each other. She was beautiful and I remember thinking how she looked like a very pretty porcelain doll my grandmother was always very fond of. I was never allowed to play with the doll in case I broke it, so I was always fascinated by it. Stella was blonde and had these amazing green eyes. She wore a choker with a little gold heart shaped pendant dangling from it. Her hair was tied in a simple pony tail. We had to complete some task on our first day, and we were supposed to do it in black ink. I had a new pencil case with all sorts of pens and pencils, but non of them were black. I asked Stella if she had a spare black pen. She did and so I was able to complete the task. Unfortunately I broke her pen. I said I was sorry and that I would replace it, but she said not to bother. She was upset but didn't want to talk any more about it. Over the first year of school we got to know each other quite well. I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I don't actually remember what she replied. We were very close.
Over the years, we drifted closer and further apart in a sort of ebb and flow of the sea. We confided in each other. Even as puberty started, she would tell me about her strange dreams and weird thoughts about other people. She told be about her growing hair in all the different parts and how her breasts were starting to grow. I in turn told her about my penis and my hair. I felt very comfortable around her. I loved her.
During our teen years, it became evident that Stella was into girls. In fact she was very much into girls. In fact she told me that even though she loved me, the idea of us having sex was awful and that she really didn't want to try it. I was into girls too. Specifically, I was into Stella. This was a problem. Every now and then I would try and hold her hand or give her a kiss. I would find moments when I could let slip that I loved her. She was always polite but firm. She did not want to have a physical relationship with me. She would try and distract me by showing me other girls. She would tell me things like "she's very easy, all you have to do is take her chocolates and she'll blow you in the crypt." The crypt being a hollow bush in the corner of the school playground. You could crawl in and it was quite roomy and private. I would go along with her plan so as not to look pathetic to her. I was always thinking about Stella, but I didn't want to feel as though she was having all this sex with girls in school and I was a looser who pined after her and got nothing in return. I had a few notable exploits here and there, and while they were fun. They were more for the sake of saving face.
I started withdrawing. It was to be expected. If you start to keep secrets from someone, you start to find their company stressful instead of relaxing. I started focusing on getting into a university. The last couple of years of school, I kept myself busy and therefore kept my thoughts of Stella down to a minimum. I had contact with her, but not as much as before. I got good grades and went on to a prestigious university. Stella didn't do too badly, and went to a good university as well. Four years apart and I had gotten over her. I dated other women. I had a meaningful relationship for a couple of years. I didn't think of her at all.
I completed my degree and wanted to do a masters. I looked though the various programs of the various universities. I was looking for something quite specific. I found it and applied. I went there. I found Stella there as well. She was also doing a masters degree there. My relationship quickly deteriorated partly due to distance and I think partly due to Stella being in my vision again. It all came flooding back.
She had struck out at her university. She was finding dating in the real world difficult. She couldn't find women who were interested in her. She was very lonely. She still had never had a relationship with a man. She told me that she had thought of me a lot during university. She wondered why things had gone so badly between us that we didn't talk at all during university. She reminded me about the pen I broke. I kissed her.
We would fool about, but whenever I tried to take my clothes off she would shut down. "I don't want to think about your penis! It's disgusting! How can I feel romantic with that thing in the room?" Our nights would started hot and heavy and end like this. She was terrified that I would "slip it in" while her guard was down. She didn't want me to penetrate her at all. We would have sex while I kept my clothes on. I would go down on her. It was exquisite, but I hated being dressed. I suggested living together. She said "only if you promise to wear a chastity device."
So we were living together and my cock was locked up. She would check every now and again to see that I was caged. During sex I still had to keep my clothes on. I would ask for my key every now and then, and she would only give it to me when we were out of the house and she wouldn't come home until I had given her the key back and assured her that I was locked up. Usually she would subtly grope me in public to make sure she could feel the device was there when I gave her the key back. If it was raining, she would usually refuse to give me the key because she didn't want to go out of the house.
Soon she came out with "I don't like the idea of you masturbating. You're basically fantasising about raping me aren't you? That's not very nice." I didn't know how to respond. "You get erection when you spoon me at night. I can feel the bulge and your...thing straining against its cage." I stood there feeling belittled and embarrassed. "You're dreaming of raping me! Every time you get horny, you're thinking how great it would be to put that thing inside me. Aren't you? I told you I don't want that! Why do you insist? Can't you understand that I don't feel safe here? I want you to get it removed. Either it goes or I do."
The ultimatum was stated. I loved her. She was everything to me. I dreamt of her constantly. I googled it online. I found that a lot of guys who were into chastity sooner or later would get it removed. Either that or they would wear increasingly smaller cages until it shrank to nothing of consequence. I offered to do that instead. I showed her a picture of a guy who had successfully shrank his huge cock to just a little inoffensive nub. "How long does it take?" "About a year and a half." "I can't wait that long. You have to make a decision now."
The procedure was quite painless. A couple of stitches marked the spot where once a mighty cock stood proud. All gone. For love. She let me be naked during sex. I loved that aspect of it. I could hold her in my arms and feel her naked flesh pressed against mine. She was okay with my balls. In fact a couple of times she would kiss them! I was a little frustrated at first, but so long in chastity with such an awkward release schedule meant I got used to it fast. The sex was amazing at last. I loved her and things were going swimmingly. Until one day, she met someone.
She met 'Phillipa' who in Stella's mind was a woman and expressed her pent up lesbianism. Phillipa was actually Phil who had had breast implants and dressed as a woman. I'll admit he pulled off quite a good illusion, but her still had a throbbing cock in those there panties of his. He called himself a t-girl. Stella would make no distinction and called him a girl with feminine pronouns. She would say "drop the 't' you're as much a woman as me."
Stella and I had had a conversation about him/her. She hated it when I would call him a 'he' and I wondered about the validity of her seeing other people romantically. "Are we in an open relationship? Can I start seeing other people?" "If you want to start dating a man, that's fine. This is about my lesbianism needing an outlet. Get on board because she offers me something that you can not, and I need that something to feel like a whole woman again. She completes what has been missing for a long time. I love you, but I need to express this with her." She stressed the 'her' at the end of that sentence. I wanted to continue to stress the fact that he was a man in a dress, and that she was not expressing anything of the sort. I felt like I couldn't make her see that she was cheating on me.
Things progressed badly. She would actually have sex with Phil. His dick would actually go into her pussy. I protested! She said "Her lady cock was exquisite and that she enjoyed it. You had a boy penis and that had to go! Get on board or move out!"
She would tell me things like "Phillipa is voracious. She fucked me hard, flipped me over, fucked me hard from behind and then ejaculated into my mouth. I love the taste of her juices. The other day she came into my handbag when I wasn't looking and I only realised when I had gotten to work. There was lady juice all over my keys and purse. She's so naughty. I couldn't help myself and licked everything clean when I got into my office."
I was marginalised. Dickless cuck to a t-girl. Phil eventually felt as though he wasn't a woman after all. He 'transitioned' back. In other words he took his implants out and dressed like a man. They're married now and have kids. I still pine for the girl who's pen I broke when I was 7.
-End-
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