Here, he tells his story. In the end, I would miss eighteen races in 2016, half the season. On Saturday afternoon, a few hours before the green flag dropped on the Southern 500, I made an appearance in the Darlington Raceway media center to answer questions about that announcement and was joined onstage with Rick Hendrick and a special guest. My doctor Micky Collins came down from Pittsburgh. There would be people watching who were suffering like me, a lot of them probably keeping it a secret like I had. This was a chance for Micky to reach out to them and reassure them like he had done for me. They could get help and get themselves fixed up. They just needed to know that. My symptoms were better, but so was my confidence in a big, crowded setting. On this day, I kept them on for the entire half-hour press conference, even though they made my eyes look kind of huge. I knew he would be. He started off by giving a quick lesson on concussions. He explained the idea of specifically targeted treatment plans, and he bragged on me for sticking to that plan. I can tell you with confidence that is happening right in front of our very eyes. He is feeling better. He can tolerate a lot more. And yes, we will be working on that as well. I am very confident that we are moving in the right direction in that respect. He reiterated the dangers of stress hampering the healing process and said it was no coincidence that, once the decision had been made to not return to racing during the remainder of 2016, my progress had started moving at a much quicker pace than it had while we were going week-to-week on the decision to approve or not approve my return to the racetrack. Twice he was asked if my previous injuries made me susceptible to concussion going forward, if me getting back into a racecar one day was really that great of an idea. I was ready for a lot of things now, including a lot of unexpected battles as my rehabilitation plowed into the fall. Throughout September and October, I had more highs than lows. But the lows were still there. I found myself still wrestling with a lot of guilt about that, especially whenever I would think about Kelley and everyone at JR Motorsports or Rick, Greg Ives, and all my guys at Hendrick Motorsports. They were working so hard all the time, still taking care of their normal business and I would think, What am I doing? Taking hikes and going out to dinner? Are you not taking this seriously?! Just getting up there and not flipping out, that was a rehabilitation victory. I had never been a big concert person because of my dislike of big crowds, but Amy and I started going to see shows, because we never had before. You should come see my guy. I unfairly beat myself up putting myself into my current position. But I sure did a lot of thinking about the what-ifs of the past. What if we had said no to that tire test invitation at Kansas in 2012? What if I had come in one lap earlier instead of running the last lap of that twenty-five-lap run so hard? I told you, my mind never stops. I just have to try to hit the brakes when it starts going too far down one road and then try to steer it down some other one. I learned to shorten up my goals. In October my friend and fellow racer Martin Truex Jr. One morning at the hunting camp I was in the garage next to the cabin, doing my exercises. Martin walked in to watch, and it dawned on me that he was really the first racecar driver to watch me do them in person. I was doing the gait test. To me, this test was always one of the truest measuring sticks of how I was progressing. Now I could make it to the end of the line, but sometimes it took a real big effort, my hands flailing like I was a tightrope walker in the circus. A drunk tightrope walker. I told Martin he should try it. He blasted down that line like it was totally nothing. Then he did it again. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. The book is available for pre-order at. Michigan 1½ 3 49½ BALL ST TOLEDO 4 1½ 63½ Buffalo Akron 4 4 55 KENT ST Penn St 14 14 61 INDIANA WISCONSIN 26 25 56 Illinois Houston 11½ 13 60½ NAVY LOUISIANA TECH 27 23½ 48 UTEP FIU 24 24 53½ Rice APPALACHIAN ST 26½ 26½ 65½ Louisiana-Lafayette ARKANSAS 3½ 6 55½ Tulsa Georgia Southern 13 13 55 NEW MEXICO ST Utah St 13½ 15 52 WYOMING Fresno St 17 14 54½ NEW MEXICO W Michigan 4 4½ 57 CENT.
