to Him an account for the manner in which you treat His message.
While standing over the dying bed of my husband, I knew that had
others borne their part of the burdens, he might have lived. I then pleaded,
with agony of soul, that those present might no longer grieve the Spirit of
God by their hardness of heart. A few days later I myself stood face to face
with death. Then I had most clear revealings from God in regard to myself,
and in regard to the church. In great weakness I bore to you my testimony,
not knowing but it would be my last opportunity. Have you forgotten that
solemn occasion? I can never forget it, for I seemed to be brought before
the judgment seat of Christ. Your state of backsliding, your hardness of
heart, your lack of harmony of love and spirituality, your departure from
the simplicity and purity which God would have you preserve—I knew it
all; I felt it all. Faultfinding, censuring, envy, strife for the highest place,
were among you. I had seen it and to what it would lead. I feared that
effort would cost me my life, but the interest I felt for you led me to
speak. God spoke to you that day. Did it make any lasting impression?
When I went to Colorado I was so burdened for you that, in my
weakness, I wrote many pages to be read at your camp meeting. Weak
and trembling, I arose at three o’clock in the morning to write to you.
God was speaking through clay. You might say that this communication
was only a letter. Yes, it was a letter, but prompted by the Spirit of God, to
bring before your minds things that had been shown me. In these letters
which I write, in the testimonies I bear, I am presenting to you that which
the Lord has presented to me. I do not write one article in the paper
expressing merely my own ideas. They are what God has opened before
me in vision—the precious rays of light shining from the throne.
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After I came to Oakland I was weighted down with a sense of the
condition of things at Battle Creek, and I, weak, power less to help you. I
knew that the leaven of unbelief was at work. Those who disregarded the
plain injunctions of God’s word were disregarding the testimonies which
urged them to give heed to that word. While visiting Healdsburg last
winter, I was much in prayer and burdened with anxiety and grief. But
the Lord swept back the darkness at one time while I was in prayer, and a
great light filled the room. An angel of God was by my side, and I seemed
to be in Battle Creek. I was in your councils; I heard words uttered, I saw
and heard things that, if God willed, I wish could be forever blotted from
my memory. My soul was so wounded I knew not what to do or what to
say. Some things I cannot mention. I was bidden to let no one know in
regard to this, for much was yet to be developed.
I was told to gather up the light that had been given me and let its rays
shine forth to God’s people. I have been doing this in articles in the papers.
I arose at three o’clock nearly every morning for months and gathered the
different items written after the last two testimonies were given me in
Battle Creek. I wrote out these matters and hurried them on to you; but I
had neglected to take proper care of myself, and the result was that I sank
under the burden; my writings were not all finished to reach you at the
General Conference.
Again, while in prayer, the Lord revealed Himself. I was once more
in Battle Creek. I was in many houses and heard your words around your
tables. The particulars I have no liberty now to relate. I hope never to be
called to mention them. I had also several most striking dreams.
What voice will you acknowledge as the voice of God? What power
has the Lord in reserve to correct your errors and show you your course
as it is? What power to work in the
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church? If you refuse to believe until every shadow of uncertainty and
every possibility of doubt is removed you will never believe. The doubt
