"She's fine."
"She's fine, he says. Men are always so articulate on such matters. My husband –"
"Mrs Leclerc, I wonder if you can help me."
"Ah! Seeking some parental advice? Well, you've come to exactly the right place. You only need to look at how wonderfully well-mannered Elaine is to see –"
"Do you have our spare set of keys?"
"Yes, dear. You endowed us with responsibility for them and we've taken that responsibility seriously. They're in the jewellery box at the back of the cutlery drawer."
"Could you please bring them over? Or can I come and get them?"
"I'm in Brighton, dear. The Conservative conference. It would take me an hour at least to get home, and Sebastian's away on business, in Monaco. Is it an emergency?"
I gritted my teeth.
"Darling?" she prompted.
"No. Sorry to bother you."
I hung up.
