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And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, top and relationship experts say that women make plenty of sex mistakes of their own. Sex Mistake 1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner Many of us worry about ladylike behavior. According to Les Parrot, professor of at Seattle Pacific University and author of a new book called Crazy Good Sex, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make. Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience, something Westheimer feels strongly women must do. Continued Sex Mistake 2: Worrying About What You Look Like Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm. For Darwinian reasons, says Fisher, men are unconsciously, of course looking for women who are able to bear healthy babies. Starting millions of years ago, men who attracted fertile women and had a lot of children lived on. Although maybe not as necessary today, Fisher says that primal survival mechanism lives on. Sex Mistake 3: Assuming Sex Is Casual for a Man Westheimer believes we should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. Continued In a study being conducted by Fisher and her colleagues of university students engaging in one-night stands, the numbers show that men are just as serious about sex and relationships as women. In fact, more than 50% of women and 52% of men who went into a one-night stand, according to Fisher, reported that they did so hoping to create a longer relationship. One-third of them actually did so. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something we take personally. Of course, do this in a loving way as best you can. Instead, let him know you need some time to think about it. Ruth Westheimer, PhD, psychosexual therapist; professor at NYU, New York University; lecturer, Yale and Princeton universities. Helen Fisher, PhD, cultural anthropologist, Rutgers University. © 2009 WebMD, LLC.
