by RichM on 2006 Mar 16 - 18:33 | reply to this comment
Public criticism of men
I really hate being with groups of women or even one woman, who criticises her man publicly, which is something mentioned in the first post on this thread. It's very very disloyal and if we publicly castigate anyone it usually reflects worse on us than the person we're talking about. I don't know why so many women do it. I expect men do as well, but not as much. Also why whinge rather than doing something about what you're not happy with? Change things if you don't like them.
I always make a point of not agreeing with it too. If you collude in this view that men are useless that some women have then you are condoning the view. Obviously I'm polite to them but I don't go along with it. In fact when I was married I'd always think of something good to say about my own husband (who was very much involved at home as we both work) to counteract those comments. Obviously couples differ and some men will be awful whether you're submissive to them or not and some will react best if they're dominated because they're submissive men but those that prefer a takeninhand kind woman, want someone who is a pleasure to be with.
Whether I am like this because I'm submissive and like men in charge I don't know, but it might be related to that.
On the general point on this thread, taking a woman in hand/dominating her is actually quite a task. It requires effort and understanding. It's not just a question of getting your own way all the time. The other element is ensuring you both get something out of the relationship, even if he knows best. And for women like me pleasing someone at home is I hope bound to make them want more to be with you than if home equals criticism from the wife.
Part of my own solution is to have interesting work. I work from home. Personally I can fit that into a takeinhand relationship and I know that doesn't suit everyone but it works for me. It also means I'm spending my days doing work I enjoy and have lots of talk about.
by Hera on 2006 Apr 7 - 08:24 | reply to this comment