Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure.
A lady tells to the nurse at the maternity hospital:
- I think I will call my little newborn Anna.
Doctor:
- Sorry, that name is already taken, but you can name her Anna532 or Anna_153.
My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger in the house. So I did - the middle one.
Conversation in the immigration office at airport in the US:
- Your name, Sir.
- Bakshish Abdul
- Sex
- Three times a day...
- I mean male or female?
- Doesn't matter...
Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
An young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. After sex the girl said, "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'am actually a hooker, and I charge $100 for what we just did."
The man retorted, "And I should have mentioned this before, but I'am actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $200."
- Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?
- No, David.
The President of Coca Cola makes a phone call to Russian President Vladimir Putin:
- Vladimir, I have noticed that you have changed Russian anthem, do you have any plans to change the flag as well - return to the previous purely red flag? If you would put our Coca-Cola trademark in a corner, we would solve all your problems with pensions, salaries of officials for couple years ahead...
Vladimir puts the call on hold and asks his colleague:
- Hey, when our contract with Aqua Fresh ends?
- Sex?
- Seven to eleven times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- No difference, male, female, sometimes camel
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow too, but also sheep, all kinds of animals.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, free style, any style - you name it!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast...
