Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. It's a thing when your guy is a great big stain and isn't truthful with you from the beginning. Now he has brainwashed you into thinking this is an acceptable occurance. Your friends are right. They are mocking you because well- he has totally bullshitted you. If you do not like his attitude break up with him. No relationship is worth compromising your beliefs for. It's not cultural, it's a man that is playing the field and is not ready for what you want. It happens every day, the key is to TALK about what you want and need from day one, not 5 months into it. I'm a North American woman born and raised here and it's not something I'd accept. Dating an American male is the same as any other male. If you want a monogamous relationship, talk to him. Obviously this meant more to you than it did to him. Perhaps he didn't realize that you wanted to be exclusive. In some countries it might be accepted as a given that relationships evolve to a monogamous state, but according to these forums, it has to be spelled out for some; especially the chronic daters. If you want an exclusive one-on-one relationship, tell him and if doesn't, obviously he isn't the one. Don't compromise your desires, no one is worth it. At the moment we are back togetherDid he also convince you that ONLY the men in America is allowed to date more than one person? Why don't you tell him you plan of dating other guys besides him, see how he reacts to that?. The guy is blowing smoke up your back. Kick his cheating ass to the curb and go find a man who can remain faithful. And that may might very well be from America. But I can't help but wonder did you have a talk with him about being exclusive, or did you just assume you two were exclusive?. Dating more than one person is quite acceptable. When sex becomes part of the equation...... I do not want to be one of many in that regard. Causal dating does not include sex. When sex becomes an option, then you ask for exclusivity. Does everyone in the UK meet, kiss and then become a couple? There is lack of communication there. Lots of room for error. So it IS an American thing? To have the 'exclusive talk'?? IME IMO this is more of a lazy idiot thing than an American thing. Or because they don't want to pay attention in the relationship and want certain benchmarks or steps to be pointed out to them possibly to make their life more meaningful and seem romantic. Exclusivity talks are meaningless without behavior to back it up. And if you are paying attention to the behavior, the exclusivity talk is unnecessary. And in any case you should generally avoid assumptions. IMO the major cultural difference here is placing so much meaning into kissing. Too much meaning into dating. As though dating is a means to a goal, possibly ownership, or that you don't have to talk to each other at all. My question is how in 5 months time did you not figure out he was dating other people all throughout? Especially if you were going out, making out, sleeping together. Did you just not spend a lot of time together? Did you just not pay attention? Why can't I get together this Friday? Such as if he went out after work with a work colleague, that happens to be a girl... Is his best friend a girl, they hang out, but your culture sees intermingling of gender as impossible except romantically so it's automatically assumed to be dating? I don't know what your cultural expectations are. Also not to mention you say the guy was born and raised in the U. But for how long? I mean was he born and raised here until 9? Was he born and raised in a traditional middle eastern, or south american, or some other ethnicity home, so was raised in that culture more than a prevalent U. Another thing I don't understand is I was so hurt and humiliated that I cut it off with him immediately... At the moment we are back together, but only since last week, and haven't talked about this issue yet. So basically you got mad and disappeared for a bit. Then you reappeared and acted all normal and lovey dovey? Never having brought up what bothered you or why you cut it off immediately? And now you are asking strangers if you should just hide the problem, swallow it, or if it's okay to be mad and attack him with it or dump him? That would kind of invalidate your feelings, wouldn't it? Globalization is affecting everything. Lack of communication in relationships is universal! Thomas L Friedman you were right! I love truly blind? Or is love willfully ignorant and likes to look the other way because it's easier to just NOT ask questions. Until you have the courage to ASK for what you want, and VERIFY what you have been told, you will forever be at the whim of pranksters. I live in Eastern Europe Which is not the world of Conan the Barbarian. You are educated, you have access to the Internet. Your continent has 2000 years of history and storytelling about relationships, which USUALLY feature love triangles, cheating and deception -- yet you tell your story as if you never heard of multiple-dating before...??? The concept of mistresses and concubines is alien to you? Europeans seem to revel in these things, so I won't take your word. It's not a cultural thing, it's a person thing. Why would dating one person at a time make one better than someone who is causally dating more than one at a time? That's what dating is, a way to get to know lots of people and at some point, if and only if they want to get more serious about someone, then narrowing down to end up with the one person they want to be with and only with. People who serial date one at a time but end up dating just as many people in the long run are deluding themselves that they aren't actually doing the same thing. And I usually only date one at a time too, but I know full well that doesn't make me more moral or any such special thing. If he's been lying to you, that's not cultural either, that his character. If you didn't bother to ask and find out what the relationship was, that's on you, it's your job to know who you are dating and what kind of a relationship you are in. At any rate, it sounds like you are two people who aren't compatible, so I don't see the point of doing something you aren't happy with. Find someone more your style. It's HER fault because she didn't think to ask if he's normal? What a load of rubbish. I live in Eastern Europe Your profile says you live in London. It's not an American thing. Pretty certain dating others is quite common throughout Europe as well. You must be in total denial. The best tip anyone can give such a nice person like you is to dump your so called BF. You've hinted a bit, by saying that you felt justified in assuming that a kiss means monogamous commitment. If there are more differences like that one, we can't know what they are, unless you tell us. I do have a general bit of advice, along the lines of what some people have already said. That is, that you should establish, and COMMUNICATE to the guy what YOUR expectations, limits, and requirements are. And resolve that a DIFFERENCE in culture you might encounter does not mean you have to ACCEPT it. So far, it sounds as though you have BOTH been guilty of ASSUMING things about each other. HE assumed that you would speak up about your boundaries and expectations, if you had any, and YOU assumed that he would adhere to your expectations. I recommend instead, that at each point where you discover that his expectations and yours differ, that you COMMUNICATE to him what your expectations and boundaries are. If he wont adjust, or you can't feel right adjusting to him, then you break off. She said nothing about meeting the guy and her family being paid a wad of cash to be a wife. Stop acting like the Americans she is describing. OP ~ This is not an American issue. It is a World Wide issue. I am European however I was raised in the USA and this nonsense goes on with any culture, any Country, and person. The Exclusive talk is necessary these days for anyone! Assuming only leads to issues like this. Just as some women of all cultures do the same thing. What I would do is meet a person who wants to be exclusive. What concerns me with this guy is he obviously was not happy enough to be with just you. And are you really going to trust him? I would be concerned as well because who knows if he will keep doing this. His behavior can bring you major issues if he is sexually active with multiple people at the same time. Also it is not wrong, or right. It is what you allow it to be, it is what you too talk about and agree. If you decide to date and date other people. It is your prerogative. If you do not like him to date other people, make it your prerogative as well. If he agrees to the exclusivity, then him going with other women is called cheating. If you live it open then it is not. You need to talk to the guy, but do not ignore this issue. It will not go away because you do not talk about it. In fact it can bite you in the a ss big time, when he gives you the gift that keeps on giving such as an STD. Be aware that whatever you want or decide may involve walking away from this guy from good. Or accepting the consequences.
