You can do almost anything online these days: Check a bank balance, buy shoes, , order a cab. She signed up for JDate, an online dating site for Jewish singles. Just look at how many people seeking dates or mates are flocking to matchmaking sites and apps. According to a 2015 study by the Pew Research Center, 15 percent of American adults have used online dating sites web-based platforms like Match. Participation by those 18 to 24 has almost tripled since 2013, and boomer enrollment has doubled. In fact, people over 50 are one of the fastest growing segments. They are gatekeepers to a massive population of potential partners; they control who we meet and how. Collectively, we spend huge sums of money on matchmaking, not to mention all the time and substantial emotional investment. But do these sites really work? Are some better than others? Reams have been written about online dating, but as far as we know, no one has put the sites to the test. So Consumer Reports decided to survey almost 115,000 subscribers about online dating and their experiences with it. Given that we usually rate products like and services like , this is new and fairly unusual territory for us. But as we explored the possibility of taking on this investigation, we discovered that 20 percent of our subscribers are either divorced or have never married, and might benefit from what we found. Our survey included many people who at some point had used a dating website or an app, as well as a subset of 9,600 respondents who used them in the past two years. The more recently active group rated specific sites. Our findings tell an almost contradictory story. On the one hand, the numbers indicate that these sites are helping people find mates. A whopping 44 percent of respondents who tried online dating said the experience led to a serious long-term relationship or marriage. That kind of connection rate would shatter Hall of Fame records, at least in baseball. They gave online dating sites the lowest satisfaction scores Consumer Reports has ever seen for services rendered—lower even than for , notoriously. Well, finding a mate can be arduous and exhausting. But with dating, the sweater has to agree, too. But our research also found that online dating, however painful and time-consuming, often does produce the intended result if you use it well—and persevere. You can find the right person more effectively by choosing the right site, which means determining the demographics it caters to and figuring out whether a large or niche site will best serve your needs. Our survey found that OkCupid and Tinder, both free, were more popular among millennials than Generation Xers and baby boomers, who were both more likely to use a paid subscription-based dating website or app. And we found that the free sites generally did marginally better than the paid ones, presumably because they offer a better value. Kate, the government analyst, has started using Tastebuds, a site based on music preferences. Many dating sites rely on matchmaking algorithms the same way that uses them to recommend movies. Apps like Bumble, Grindr, or Tinder use things like your location and sexual preference. If the interest is mutual, you can send messages to each other. But that can happen on any site, says Laurie Davis Edwards, a professional dating coach and founder of eFlirt in Los Angeles, which helps clients navigate the dating world. Joseph Lynn, 50, was matched with a woman who seemed perfect. Our survey found that among those reluctant to try online dating, 21 percent of women and 9 percent of men said it was because they knew someone who had a bad experience. Veteran online daters become adept at realizing when a match is going nowhere. They live separately but spend about half of the week together. Where that person taught and what subject kept changing. But that runs counter to another user concern: privacy. Weigel points to real-life concerns, like the data breach in 2015 of the extramarital affair site Ashley Madison, which revealed user details including email addresses. Most sites offer common-sense tips on how to protect yourself, including not sharing personal contact information right away and going on first dates in public places. Success in online dating requires a realistic idea of what the sites can offer and the patience to go on lots of coffee dates. That was definitely not me. When they eventually met in person, she thought he was 10 times more attractive than in his photos. Methodology Pros Cons You answer a standard personality questionnaire that emphasizes activities and interests. You can specify who can see your profile. It's simple to use, even for the tech-phobic. Setting who can see your profile is good if you're looking to date in a specific age range. There's no option to search for matches within a certain distance or ZIP code, although you can search within a state. The Guided Communication process encourages users to get to know each other gradually via prompts instead of more free-form messaging. Users can't search on their own; the site sends matches based on information in profiles. Audience: People who may want to take it slow and get to know each other. Users fill out a questionnaire about themselves their hair color, for example, or whether they have children and what they're looking for say, someone of a particular religion. It launched in 1995 and has lots of add-on services, including the ability to talk or text on your cell phone without revealing your phone number. The questionnaire is on the long side, so signing up might feel arduous. Audience: Singles ages 30+ ready to settle down. Users fill out a questionnaire that includes questions about their Jewish identity, such as whether they keep kosher. The site caters to Jews of all levels of observance. Non-Jewish members are welcome but are asked about their willingness to convert. Audience: Jewish singles and those looking to meet them. OkCupid Format: App and Website Cost: Free. Audience: The site has a reputation for attracting young, hip, tech-savvy users. Tinder uses a member's smartphone location to find fellow users in a set radius. Swipe left on photos of users you aren't interested in and right on those you are. If you both swipe right, you're matched and can message each other. The swiping interface is very simple to use and is almost like a game. And the double opt-in system means you won't get messages from anyone you aren't initially interested in. There's very little information on fellow users beyond pictures, so matching can feel a little shallow for relationship-minded users. Tinder Format: App Cost: Free. Audience: This location-based app, which has a reputation for finding casual romance, attracts young adults. Meet up for coffee: A short, informal date, often during the daytime. Netflix and chill: An invitation to watch Netflix together, which has become slang for coming over to have sex. Sexting: Where sex meets texting; sending someone sexually explicit messages or photos. Tinderella: A twist on Cinderella; popular with male Tinder users to describe the perfect match. Consumer Reports is an independent, non-profit organization dedicated to helping consumers. We make it easy to buy the right product from a variety of retailers. When you shop through retailer links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission — 100% of the fees we collect are used to support our mission. All prices are subject to change.
